hey again guys.

i've never told anyone (in person) that i identify as trans. i'm pretty damn sure that i am, been having these feelings for a longlonglong time, but here's the thing, i have quite a few other problems too. i have mental health issues, i suspect borderline personality disorder, and sometimes i wonder if the trans stuff is part of that. i am seeing this doctor about a physical condition that i think is at the root (or plays a huge part) in these issues.

then again, the trans thing could be totally separate and at the root of some of my problems too? is it possible, for example, that my body/brain actually needs T to function properly (i'm ftm)? i guess i'm just not sure if i should tell her right off the bat or seek treatment for my other issues independently of the trans stuff, and then once i become mentally healthy, see if the trans stuff is still there and then tackle it on its own.

not sure if what i wrote makes sense, but any advice?

p.s. doctor is NOT a psychiatrist but she is a holistic doctor that takes into account "the whole person", physical/mental/emotional health.

I don't know if a holistic doctor would be the best place to go if you are hoping to start hrt.  Usually, hrt is prescribed by an endo -sometimes a pcp- but I've never heard of anyone going the holistic route for hormones*.  Also, most physicians require a letter from a therapist  that explains you are dealing with gender dysphoria and clearing you mentally for hrt.  Either way, it will usually require to go to a therapist as very few doctors outside of lgbt clinics, operate under informed consent. 

That being said, coming out to your doctor can be a great thing.  Having their support and input can help put you on the right track.  I hope it all goes well. 

* I fully admit that I could be wrong about this, so take it with a grain of salt.

Tell the doctor as much or as little as you feel comfortable too. When your ready you will be able to tell them. Telling my previous primary care doctor was the most difficult thing to do, but it was necessary to get the referrals I needed. It's true he transferred me to another doctor in the clinic because of it, but now I have a primary care doctor who has treated trans patients in the past. Just one side note. If this doctor is a D.O. instead of an MD then they are just as qualified as a regular MD.

Quote from: thereishope on August 17, 2014, 11:14:03 PM
hey again guys.

i've never told anyone (in person) that i identify as trans. i'm pretty damn sure that i am, been having these feelings for a longlonglong time, but here's the thing, i have quite a few other problems too. i have mental health issues, i suspect borderline personality disorder, and sometimes i wonder if the trans stuff is part of that. i am seeing this doctor about a physical condition that i think is at the root (or plays a huge part) in these issues.

then again, the trans thing could be totally separate and at the root of some of my problems too? is it possible, for example, that my body/brain actually needs T to function properly (i'm ftm)? i guess i'm just not sure if i should tell her right off the bat or seek treatment for my other issues independently of the trans stuff, and then once i become mentally healthy, see if the trans stuff is still there and then tackle it on its own.

not sure if what i wrote makes sense, but any advice?

p.s. doctor is NOT a psychiatrist but she is a holistic doctor that takes into account "the whole person", physical/mental/emotional health.

Quote from: Mariah2014 on August 18, 2014, 05:30:22 AM
Just one side note. If this doctor is a D.O. instead of an MD then they are just as qualified as a regular MD.

Good point. 

thanks for the replies.

but to clarify, it's not that i think she'll be able to prescribe me hormones or anything like that. i do intend to see a gender therapist and go through the whole process for that. but it's more like, the trans stuff is a source of my stress, and i also wonder if it could be a -symptom- of a disorder, like ocd or bpd.

like, am i constantly questioning my gender identity because i'm obsessive and have latched onto this idea? or because i might have bpd and have no stable sense of self? stuff like that. she could probably diagnose and treat me without knowing exactly about my specific thoughts, but i wonder if not telling her would be leaving out a piece of the puzzle. at the same time, even on my happiest and most mentally stable days, i feel trans, so it probably is a separate thing altogether.

/ramble /still not sure

I believe myself that not telling a medical provider why you are feeling depressed or in ill health is ludicrous. This person will be taking on your health care and directing treatment. Not to disclose medical issue's is a path to quick ruin. You are going to have to trust this person and disclose what your symptoms are so they can treat you properly.

well being trans is not the only thing causing my depression, and i'm not even sure it's a "cause". it is something i think about on a daily basis. it is sometimes a source of stress and confusion for me, other times i feel happy and comfortable about it. however i have a physical condition (complicated, but let's say it's a thyroid problem just for the sake of discussion) that i only recently found out i've had my entire life and is probably at the root of a lot of my mental health symptoms.

i guess what i'm asking is, can the "right hormones" seriously be considered a treatment for mood disorders, depression, etc or ONLY for gender dysphoria? i'm leaning toward the belief that i should be able to treat my other mental health issues on their own, and then when i feel sound of mind, pursue gender therapy and hormones. but i'm still conflicted as to whether i should omit my trans feelings from my overall portrait of myself with this doctor. i'm not sure if it's relevant, or if it'll just muddle my other issues.

Unless you hold a Doctorate degree you should quit self diagnosing yourself. If you think of this on a daily basis you desperately need a Therapist with gender experience preferably. Please find one and be honest with them. They may say you are trans or not, but let an unbiased person help you on this. Self diagnosis made it very hard for me as a Paramedic to treat people because instead of letting we trained medics look at the physical symptoms to get an educated opinion they would sometimes knowingly give us an incomplete picture of their issue. Please find assistance to deal with your issue's and be honest and open. It is the only way to provide adequate care for you. 

thanks jessica but like i said i DO plan to see a gender therapist specifically about the trans stuff. this doctor i'm talking about is not a therapist or psychiatrist of any kind, she's a naturopathic physician. i'm not self-diagnosing myself, i already know i have a specific and quite separate condition that i am seeing her to treat.

i'm just not sure my trans feelings are relevant to anyone except a mental health specialist. it's not like a regular physician (or a holistic doctor) could diagnosis someone with being transsexual. it's always considered a mental health diagnosis. so as for a regular doctor visit, is there any real reason to mention it? i dunno...i'm pre-everything. it's not like "oh yeah and by the way, i've been taking T, could that be affecting my body in X way or Y way?" right?

and it's also not like cross-sex hormones could prescribed to treat depression, only to treat gender dysphoria. yes i feel like i am hiding something from her and not telling her the whole story but at the same time, what could a regular doctor really do about it anyway? im not even sure if she is trans friendly or knowledgeable. but i need to see her because she specializes in this other condition i have...sigh.

i guess it comes down to this: is there any harm in treating other mental health issues first and then tackling gender dysphoria afterward? right now it seems like the best way to go about it. because what if my trans feelings are only a symptom of some other mental health or physical problem? i would feel better about telling her i was trans if i knew for a fact that i was mentally healthy otherwise. like "yeah i don't have bpd after all, yeah i treated my mood swings and ocd with this and this, yeah i generally feel happy and stable and sound of mind...and yet i still feel trans, so now it's time to treat that too"

i dunno, maybe i could mention that i have transgender thoughts/feelings rather than coming right out and saying "i'm transgender" but that still makes me uncomfortable, i've never even met her before and i've never told anyone in person that i have these feelings...

/another ramble /still undecided /very indecisive /overthinks everything

Quote from: thereishope on August 19, 2014, 02:12:38 PM
it's always considered a mental health diagnosis.

That was in the past. Now the DSM clearly states it IS NOT a mental health diagnosis.

Anyway, ALL of your health care team should know. Otherwise one may dispense a drug in contradiction possibly with an HRT drug. 

please tell your doctor. it's impossible to get rid of an obsession without admitting you are obsessed. and a gender therapist will do their very best to find out whether you're suffering from gender dysphoria, or it's a symptom of a mental condition. the "right" hormones won't treat the causes of distress, but it can help get rid of unnecessary noise and make it easier to focus on other problems.

telling your doctor will enable them to help you deal with your thoughts of being trans, so you can stop having to think about it so much that you're unable to deal with all your other issues. or they might send you to a couple different therapists who can help you better. if your doctor has a holistic approach, i'm pretty sure they'd be interested in knowing that you might be trans, so they can help your whole being.

First of all, if you don't feel comfortable about telling your doctor about ANYTHING in regards to your health, you should find a doctor that you would feel comfortable with.

Secondly, If you fear their reaction, then you need to step back and realize that this isn't their first rodeo. Patients tell their doctors all sorts of unusual stuff all the time so you're just gonna have to buck up and say something or else nothing will change :p