so hi all! i'm just posting to say i'm back.  not that anybody would have missed me in particular, but in case someone wondered why i suddenly went silent (my last post was not very happy) i decided i would stay off the site and concentrate on my studies until i'm finished with this critical exam i was talking about (that's our school finals). well i couldn't keep completely off the site, like i'd log in few times a week and check what's up here. but i promised myself i wouldn't post until exams are over.
so here i am! exam is not technically over yet, as we have the IQ test on 29th but the other subjects i took up are over. so i finally let myself free.

updating about my life, nothing has really changed. i'm still deep inside the closet, nobody except you guys know anything is wrong with me, nowhere near therapy or transition and all that. got a few plans though- i found this hotline of a support site and i'm planning to call them as soon as i find some privacy, to at least know if transition is POSSIBLE in our country, and to what extent. and i'm planning to come out to 2 or 3 of my friends. their results will decide what i'd do next.

now that i've got nothing to do till results are released and uni's start my parents are planning to send me as a trainee at dad's office. i don't have a clue what that'll turn out to be but that's better than staying at home doing nothing. i'll have to present as female and get introduced to more and more people as female and wear professional clothes. but at least i'm wearing pants and shirt-like-buttondown-blouse and i look a great deal taller and like a guy in a buttondown. so at least my dysphoria would be better than when i'm in my school uniform. anyway i'm looking forward to it. i'll just have to wait and see what my life has stored in for me.
anyway glad to be back here!

*hugs*

Well, I missed you, YB. I'm glad you're still around and that you are well. Thank you for keeping us updated.

A warm welcome back to you! Congratulations on those tests, it's a big feat since school exams tend to be *so* stressful. Anyways, good luck on your next one and I hope you'll find some options in your country for transitioning as best as you can.. It can be tough, but it's worth it. Stand for yourself, for who you are from the inside. A man, truly!

thanks this is basically the only place i get to be myself, and its such a relief to be back here. will update you all on how the call to the support center would go. that'll be my first ever move.

and if there's anybody who can remember my old rant about earrings, well i developed a rash in the earlobes and persuaded mom to let me stay without them till it heals. luckily the rash has been up and running for about a month now and i don't think i could make up my mind to wear earrings again when they finally heal. hope the piercing closes up before the rash heals. ( i mean its a custom here that every 'girl' should wear earrings) also i now have time to work out a bit and gain some muscles for my own satisfaction and get rid of fat. should keep hoping for better.

First time I have ever heard of a LUCKY rash! *giggle* 

really it was some allergy (i've had ups and downs of this allergic reactions from time to time since i was 7) and this time it hit hard and rashes were all over me. it's very hard to fully suppress the rashes on my feet and i always have one or two there. now all the rashes have healed except for feet and earlobes! i wonder how long i can keep this up

Quote from: YBtheOutlaw on August 23, 2014, 02:00:12 PM
i wonder how long i can keep this up

A nice red Sharpie marker and you can do it indefinitely!! 

haha they are not red though. i even thought of not applying the prescribed ointment and let it heal naturally, but it got too itchy today and mom noticed and forced me to apply it. and they want the earrings back in place when i start the training cos it'll be dad's office and people will be inquiring dad why i'm not wearing them, along with my boyish attire and behaviour. but i don't think i could wear them again.

Quote from: YBtheOutlaw on August 23, 2014, 02:07:45 PM
when i start the training cos it'll be dad's office and people will be inquiring dad why i'm not wearing them

Let them wear them if they are so worried about it! 

I sure missed you while you were gone! 

When my ears started reacting to earrings, they never stopped. Now I'm totally skin-allergic to most types of metal. Maybe you have the same thing going on.

I'd just say fu,ck you mom I'm not wearing ear rings.