Well, I'm truly annoyed.

Came out to my mom. She says she supports me and has agreed to take me to see a gender therapist, which is good. The bad part is that first off she doesn't believe I'm transgender, she just thinks I want to be so I can play with the girls or something, not for the real reasons that have been eating me up inside. She also told me I'm not allowed to go on any of these forum sites anymore, even know she hasn't even so much as taken a LOOK at one, or bothered to care how much they have kept me from going to drastic measures. However, I will simply ignore that and still come on here every day. And I'll gladly tell her that I am and why I am if she asks.

Really, I just feel like she says she supports me but really doesn't. And that look she gives me is just awful... Ugh.

At least I'm going to a gender therapist. Any recommendations for the PSL, Florida area? I don't want to see someone who has little to no experience.

-To Be Named

I am very sorry you have to go through this. It makes a complicated situation that much harder. Good luck.

She doesn't sound very supportive and more just tolerating until she can get you to a therapist, where she probably believes she'll be told she is right and you are wrong. I'm sorry you have to endure this. Hopefully the therapist can make a diagnosis then convince her of that diagnosis as well.

Quote from: iiMTF on August 23, 2014, 03:29:46 PM
Well, I'm truly annoyed.

Came out to my mom. She says she supports me and has agreed to take me to see a gender therapist, which is good. The bad part is that first off she doesn't believe I'm transgender, she just thinks I want to be so I can play with the girls or something, not for the real reasons that have been eating me up inside. She also told me I'm not allowed to go on any of these forum sites anymore, even know she hasn't even so much as taken a LOOK at one, or bothered to care how much they have kept me from going to drastic measures. However, I will simply ignore that and still come on here every day. And I'll gladly tell her that I am and why I am if she asks.

Really, I just feel like she says she supports me but really doesn't. And that look she gives me is just awful... Ugh.

At least I'm going to a gender therapist. Any recommendations for the PSL, Florida area? I don't want to see someone who has little to no experience.

-To Be Named

Sorry, I'll say a prayer for you. I came out to my parents when I was eleven. They came around when I was fourteen, and they let me take hormones. My dad is more accepting. I transitioned eight years ago, and my baby sister is eight years old. She sees me as her sister. Your mom will come around, give her time.
-Jaz

Edited for request of personal information.

It's not uncommon for parents to be supportive only to the degree of believing "you are going through a phase and will get over it/can be fixed". Given that young people can often have a "thing" one week and something completely different the next it's easy to understand where they get this notion. What they don'y understand is that the feelings that go with gender identity dissonance don't go away with time, and if left undealt with only get worse. Once you've seen a counsellor a few times your mom may come around.

Well, my mom never mentioned the word phase and I did tell her that I've felt this way for 5 years. However, she did not seem to care. :/

That's rough, but getting therapy is a huge step. You just have to show your mom that you mean business by going all the way with this if it's really what you want. I'm sure she'll come around. Good luck!

She might not have mentioned "phase you are going through" but I can pretty much guarantee that's what she thinks... ("just want to play with the girls" was a pretty good sign of that!! )

So sorry. Sometimes parents want to be supportive but in actuality aren't really that supportive and like someone else said they believe its a phase. Well it is a phase, you figured out you were trans, and one that will not go away but will likely get worst in time. At least she is taking you to a gender therapist and after a couple of session and you figure some things out, both you and your mother may want to attend a session. Usually when it is solidified from a mental health professional it hits home.

Thanks! Although, this gender therapist thing is a little nerve wracking because I used to have a regular therapist (not a gender one, just one to figure out why I was so anxious - and still am - and a few other things) who was terrible. We met in private, he wrote my answers, then mixed them up and lied to my parents about what I was saying. The gender therapist most likely won't be a jerk like him (the other guy literally verbally abused me) but I just have bad experiences with therapists, so I'm a bit anxious. Time can only tell.

Quote from: iiMTF on August 23, 2014, 08:37:28 PM
Thanks! Although, this gender therapist thing is a little nerve wracking because I used to have a regular therapist (not a gender one, just one to figure out why I was so anxious - and still am - and a few other things) who was terrible. We met in private, he wrote my answers, then mixed them up and lied to my parents about what I was saying. The gender therapist most likely won't be a jerk like him (the other guy literally verbally abused me) but I just have bad experiences with therapists, so I'm a bit anxious. Time can only tell.

That really ticks me off. I don't normally say this about people because I think employment is hard to achieve these days and most people deserve it, but I hope he gets fired. As a therapist two of the biggest traits you should have are trustworthiness and honesty. I'm so sorry you had an experience like that. I'm sure your gender therapist will be a million times better. Plus, I'm sure your gender therapist will be happy to discuss your anxiety if you ask them.

I don't think she understands what being transgender is and what exactly it's doing to you. Why would anyone choose to be transgender just to play with girls? Keep coming back here please, she seems to be in denial and is afraid of the truth. Go see the gender therapist and they should be able to help you out with your Mum as well. Best of luck!

edit: Wow! The fact that any therapist would even do such a thing sickens me. I'm sorry you had that experience, that's just so wrong. Don't let that turn you away from the idea of therapy, he had no right to treat you like that and I'm pretty sure you can report that if you haven't. A therapist should be there to listen and help you and you should be comfortable talking to them. As Ashlotte said, I hope he gets fired and I'm sure the gender therapist will be much better and be more than happy to help with your other problems too.

Yeah. After I stopped meeting with him we looked up his website, it was just plain sad... Disorganized, little to no info, terrible reviews. I just wish we saw it before contacting him. But no more about that, it's in the past. Anyways, I hope what you said is true... That's exactly what I was hoping for

My last post is directed towards Ashlotte btw.

Quote from: iiMTF on August 23, 2014, 08:37:28 PM
Thanks! Although, this gender therapist thing is a little nerve wracking because I used to have a regular therapist (not a gender one, just one to figure out why I was so anxious - and still am - and a few other things) who was terrible. We met in private, he wrote my answers, then mixed them up and lied to my parents about what I was saying. The gender therapist most likely won't be a jerk like him (the other guy literally verbally abused me) but I just have bad experiences with therapists, so I'm a bit anxious. Time can only tell.

A therapist really shouldn't be sharing anything you say with anyone even your parents. What a therapist or Psychiatrist writes is actually your property and you are free to access their notes at anytime. Any therapist shouldn't share anything that you talk about with anyone without your consent. Unless you are suicidal or homicidal and so on. So maybe question the next one, check what they wrote about you and so on. I'm really not sure of age limits and so on, but what you tell them should be in complete confidence.

Thanks Valleyrie

Jess: Yea. And I even asked him to keep it private unless I approved. But I did admit to almost committing suicide once to him, so idk if that falls in the category as suicidal? I was 9 I believe on the
night I almost did it, so... Glad I didn't, since I'm not psycho or anything - I had the common sense that a sucky life was better than no life at all.

Although I'm about to go crazy because I've been hearing a spider just makin a bunch of noise, idk where it is, AND ITS REALLY ANNOYING lol

For like 2 hours now

Ahhh, you're going to make me paranoid. I hate spiders lol. :3 Jess is right but I'm glad you're still here. Suicidal thoughts are probably more common than you think and doesn't particularly make someone a psychopath so don't worry.