Its the most disgusting thing in the world. It makes want to puke! When I feel sexual urges it feels wrong. If SRS didn't exist, I most likely would have castration and penectomy. How can people live with this. More importantly why am I not like them?

Hormones and Therapy is how i handled my dysphoria till i had GCS.

Quote from: Jaz650 on August 23, 2014, 03:57:44 PM
How can people live with this. More importantly why am I not like them?

Because you are not like them, so just accept this fact. Nothing wrong with it at all. I look at mine as an organ donor for a new vajaja.

That's the thing with dysphoria, it's not that nice. I saw mine in the mirror accidentally, the first time in a while, and I did feel nausea so strong it really took me by surprise.

Fortunately, before getting rid of the thing, I can at least kill it slowly with hormones and frequently tucking.

You do not feel like them because you are not cis, we are different.

Why does your junk feel wrong, because you are a girl. Some trans girls do not dislike their junk, some are mildly unhappy and some very unhappy.

I am so happy they are small now. Why, because they are wrong. Do I hate them, yes. Will I get GRS, IDK there are complications, time will tell. If I did not have a lot to lose I would in a heart beat. My wife and daughter are the main reason I get up every day.

I thought about castration (I would love to be off spiro) but I would love GRS some day and I have a faint glimmer of hope

I know what you mean. I try to avoid seeing it as much as I can as it disgust me and I just hate it overall. I'd love to have GRS one day but for now I can only try to accept how I was born.

Well, I'm indifferent to mine. I just see it as an outy instead of an innie. If I see it, it doesn't really disgust me even though I would rather have an innie.

We are all different. And if you are that disgusted by it then you really need to see a therapist and so on. I would really rather have the other but sexual urges and all are just natural. Even if you had the "V" you would still have urges. Like I said, I just see it as an outy instead of an innie. I just don't let it define me as a man or woman. That is in my head, Psyche, personality and the way I express myself. I kind of hope this helps but doubt it will too much.

There are different degrees of frustration and disgust with "it," but basically you are probably a girl inside, so if you get hormones you can start to correct your physical body so it matches your mind and soul.

Johanna.

Quote from: JohannaJohn on August 23, 2014, 10:15:25 PM
There are different degrees of frustration and disgust with "it," but basically you are probably a girl inside, so if you get hormones you can start to correct your physical body so it matches your mind and soul.

Johanna.

I've been on hormones for eight years.

You are probably a woman on the inside. These days you can start to transition to make yourself whole.
It will not go away. Like you can suppress your feelings(due to others) but you will never be happy and just being at war with yourself.

All you have to do is look at a woman, walk past any type of women's store.

If you were a man on the inside you won't hate what you have between your legs.

Love yourself and make yourself happy.

Quote from: Jess42 on August 23, 2014, 08:57:32 PM
Well, I'm indifferent to mine. I just see it as an outy instead of an innie. If I see it, it doesn't really disgust me even though I would rather have an innie.

We are all different. And if you are that disgusted by it then you really need to see a therapist and so on. I would really rather have the other but sexual urges and all are just natural. Even if you had the "V" you would still have urges. Like I said, I just see it as an outy instead of an innie. I just don't let it define me as a man or woman. That is in my head, Psyche, personality and the way I express myself. I kind of hope this helps but doubt it will too much.

That's the weird thing. Having sex with a vagina, with my husband is natural (just imagining). But if its my penis, the thought is utterly disgusting. Castration wouldn't do it for me, I need the whole thing taken off.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on August 23, 2014, 08:34:19 PM
You do not feel like them because you are not cis, we are different.

Why does your junk feel wrong, because you are a girl. Some trans girls do not dislike their junk, some are mildly unhappy and some very unhappy.

I am so happy they are small now. Why, because they are wrong. Do I hate them, yes. Will I get GRS, IDK there are complications, time will tell. If I did not have a lot to lose I would in a heart beat. My wife and daughter are the main reason I get up every day.

I thought about castration (I would love to be off spiro) but I would love GRS some day and I have a faint glimmer of hope

I would say I am mildly unhappy about "down there," but about 4 weeks into HRT I don't have boy functionality down there anyway, I have beautiful BREASTS instead.

So, I don't feel a desperate need for SRS, but I will certainly consider it at some point.  You see, my testosterone poisoning problems has been solved by estogen and progesterone and emotionally I am a euphoric GIRL who cries a lot now at unpredictable moments.

I am a FREE female person, in ecstasy.  Emotional ecstasy, nothing sexual.

Johanna.
FEMALE.

Quote from: JohannaJohn on August 23, 2014, 11:51:24 PM
I would say I am mildly unhappy about "down there," but about 4 weeks into HRT I don't have boy functionality down there anyway, I have beautiful BREASTS instead.

So, I don't feel a desperate need for SRS, but I will certainly consider it at some point.  You see, my testosterone poisoning problems has been solved by estogen and progesterone and emotionally I am a euphoric GIRL who cries a lot now at unpredictable moments.

I am a FREE female person, in ecstasy.  Emotional ecstasy, nothing sexual.

Johanna.
FEMALE.

Typographical correction: That should read "starting about week 4 on full dose HRT and now 10 weeks into HRT in total, I don't have any boy functionality down there anyway."

It served its purpose and it had many successful attempts at making me look like a horny creep for just being snuggly, but now it can just pack its bags and get lost. The only thing that bothers me is if I'll somehow freak out years later for having a part of my body missing forever even though I have no emotional or psychological attachment. But I think with estrogen coursing through me by then it'll be less likely.

Those things are just weird, bulgy, uncomfortable, unpredictable, and often just plain frightening like some kind of territorial sand worm. Vaginas are weird, too, but at least they're not plotting to burst through your trousers during an unexpected arousal as if you're John Hurt in the movie 'Alien'. :p

But that's just me.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on August 23, 2014, 08:34:19 PM
Why does your junk feel wrong, because you are a girl. Some trans girls do not dislike their junk, some are mildly unhappy and some very unhappy.

I've never felt physically ill at the sight of my penis, as some have described.  But it's just not me.  Even when I was in denial about being transgender, I still always wished I had a vagina.  Part of what made me realize that I really am trans was realizing that most guys never think that...in fact they're quite obsessed with their penis.

QuotePart of what made me realize that I really am trans was realizing that most guys never think that...in fact they're quite obsessed with their penis.

Either obsessed or find it entirely comfortable and amusing to make constant references. If those references are not being done by comedians on a stage they're just obnoxious and annoying. And what is the compulsion to send photos of it to every girl's cell phone and email? Does it sparkle? Does it have a tiny eyeball hiding inside the urethra? I swear, these guys could be compared in a controlled environment to a group of monkeys given iPhones and the data would be nearly indistinguishable.

As far back as I can remember I felt that it was wrong for me. Always felt that girl parts would be much nicer. However, I married young and now have two adult daughters. I still love my wife and do not want to harm that relationship.

In the past it gave me some pleasure with my wife but I never totally felt right about it. I was always uncomfortable standing next to another guy peeing. It frequently felt uncomfortable and embarrased me when it popped up at inappropriate times. I always wondered what it would be like to have girl parts.

I gave up standing to pee over 17 years ago and have not done so even once since then except occasionally in the shower. My wife is post menaupausal and quit wanting penetrative sex almost 6 years ago. That thing is now just an unnecessary and unwanted inconvenience for me. Full SRS would be nice but that is virtually impossible due to being unacceptable to my wife.

The most that I can hope for is total penectomy and castration only if there is some way that it can be classified as medically necessary. Also breast development and other body and facial feminization would be nice but that would also have to appear to be natural. HOW CAN THIS BE POSSIBLE?

Dysphoria down there just increases the more I live as myself. I used to not care very much about those parts, but after 3 years of HRT, my body looks great except for that. It stands out more and more as being wrong. I just blank it from my mind as best I can, that's my way of dealing with it. I'm getting in the queue for surgery, and have my letters now. I already have 2 daughters, it has to go....

C -

The disgust is so strong that I don't even want to talk about it. Ugh.

Well, I mean it can be pretty convenient, but it feels so wrong on me.

I sometime get anxiety snd nausea, when I see mine. But most of the time its not too bad, i just totally dont identify with it, I dont like how it looks, and looking at it sticking out of my body makes me feel totally uncomfortable!

The worst bit for me though is my sex drive, I totally cannot wait to get onto hrt, I just hate the feeling of arousal!

The whole thing is horrible :/

the reason I suppose im not like other men, is that im not a man!!! My brain simply cannot cope with testosterone, I hate it so much

X