(Trigger warning: abusive and unsupportive parents/grandparents)

Has anyone else ever gone through something like this?

Due to financial difficulties brought on partly by our mental illnesses, partly by the economy, and partly by the fact that I just graduated from university (and now I get to start paying back loans), my partner and I have had to separate from living together for over five years, and move back in with our families.

As of Thursday, he is now a 16-hour each way, $2500 round-trip flight away from me, and neither of us has the means to visit one another, or even talk on the phone (we do have skype though, hopefully that will serve us well).

Meanwhile, I'm left to pack all of our possessions and get them to my abusive, non-accepting grandmother's house. But she won't let me use her garage for storage, so I can only take what fits in my bedroom (to HER standard of cleanliness -- no clutter or boxes allowed). And if she finds anything of his, she will probably throw it away.

I invited 40 friends to my house and told them I would give them anything I own for free if they would just spend time with me while I pack, but nobody has come (except my mother, bless her heart). I am having such a hard time right now.

Meanwhile I have to figure out how to dispose of my furniture (can't afford a moving truck, Salvation Army pickup is backed up 2 weeks, if I leave it by the dumpster I could get a huge fine from my landlord).

Sorry if this post is depressing, I really needed to vent about this. I haven't felt safe sharing my feelings with anyone because it feels like they don't care, or in some cases I feel like I would burden them.

I'd also love to hear how others have coped with difficult family situations, splitting from a partner (break-up or just physical space), or feeling unsupported by friends.

Any advice or positive feelings welcome.

Wow, I'm so sorry that you have to go through that.  I wish I knew what to say.  As for your furniture and other belongings, you could try to sell them on Craigslist or give them away for free.  Normally, people will jump at a chance to get free stuff.  In my last relationship, I was engaged and set to get married and move in together within the next year, but all of a sudden, she decided to leave me with no warning whatsoever, without even breaking up with me officially.  I was devastated and to this day I still am, but it's getting better.  I coped by trying to live my life and focus on the goals that I had (in this case, top surgery).  I also tried to find the positives in being single.  Even though you are in a bad situation now, look at the positives.  You still have your partner, and he is going through the same thing.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder (or at least it should).  Take this time strive for any goals you have.  If the goal is for you and your partner to move back in together soon, the strive for that, and just work harder to pay off your loans. As for family I live with an unsupportive mom and the rest of my family is unsupportive.  How I cope is I think about the future and my goals.  I also get set in my mind that transition is something that I have to do, whether they accept me or not, and hopefully when they see how happy I am, they will likely be more supporitive....or at least more tolerant towards me.

Hang in there. -HUGS- We all have our stormy moments, but after the storm comes the rainbow (doubly so for LBGT people lol).

Quote from: King Malachite on August 23, 2014, 09:03:09 PM
-HUGS- We all have our stormy moments, but after the storm comes the rainbow (doubly so for LBGT people lol).

Thanks. That was both sweet and made me laugh a little.

The situation with my partner is complicated since I came out to him as FtM. He's straight and monogamous and doesn't want to break up. I don't know what will happen if I start to transition (which I really feel like doing, but haven't been able to afford a therapist yet). He might change his mind about any of those three things.

Ah, I can see how that situation can be complicated.  Do you have insurance that could pay for it?  Or maybe you could save some extra money if it only took you a few sessions to get a letter, and maybe discuss the situation with your partner?

Medicaid won't cover it if I mention it's for gender issues, but they might if I just call it general counseling. Unfortunately I haven't found anyone in their "network" who has expertise in GD.

I'm currently just trying to keep the lines of communication open with the people I'm out to, and the people who care about me. Still, sometimes it's hard to feel cared about, like when circumstances cause everyone I had plans with to cancel on me for several days straight

That has to be tough.  It really does sucks that your friends did that.  Hopefully it wasn't done with any malice.

Have you checked into the possibility of a storage unit?

No money. Might be relatively inexpensive to live in one, though, I guess. Compared to rent anyway.

Generally against the rules to live in one. I was thinking for your furniture and things as they have value and can be sold off while in storage as opposed to giving them away and losing everything.

Sending out a big virtual hug, I really wish I could do something to help. I hope having this place to come and vent is at least a little help. Various circumstances led to me having to move in with my older brother and his girlfriend when I first came out. A long story but in the end they ended up kicking me out with nowhere to go ... they said they would hold on to my stuff but when I was finally in a position to get it back it transpired that it was all gone, sold or otherwise no longer there. It really does suck, and I'm not gonna lie to you it was some of the suckiest years of my life while I was getting back on my feet but without getting too philosophical the stuff I've had to put up with has made me the person I am today. As long as you can keep pushing forwards and working towards the things you want in life things will get better eventually.