So I met with my gender therapist today and she told me that I would never really pass due to several factors:

1 - I'm 6'2"
2 - Broad shoulders
3 - Large hands
4 - Large feet

I was pretty depressed on the drive home but did some research once I got there. It turns out my shoulders aren't actually that bad, they measured in at 17-18" and according to what I could find online genetic women average just under 17" so mine wouldn't be totally out of line. My hands aren't that huge either and I have slender fingers. My feet are a bit big, wearing about a size 12-13 men's so I'd probably have trouble finding shoes. The height I definitely can't do anything about but I don't think it would be that bad. Tall women exist, they're just rare. Plus it's not like I'd need to worry about intimidating men since I'm not interested in them anyway. Thoughts?

I would find another therapist IMMEDIATELY. Anyone who treats you like that is not on your side.

I'm in the same boat girl, but every time I feel bad about it I just remember that Maria Sharapova is 6'2 and she has gorgeous long legs because of her height. So I'm just looking forward to gorgeous long legs lol;D

21" shoulders here.

I said it to someone else and I'll say it again look at Grace Jones she is cis

Definitely look for another therapist.

Me:

1 - I'm 6'7"
2 - Shoulders 18" (small for my height)
3 - medium hands
4 - Women's Size 13W (sometimes can fit as small as women's size 11), met a cis woman who is 6'3" and has a size 15 women's. She was so frustrated with shoes that she has just started her own show business.

No problems passing whatsoever. Yes I sometimes get looks like, wow, tall woman, but it doesn't clock me be so tall.

For 10 years I put off transition because I was tall(6'1 and a half) Embrace your height and remember Amazons rock

1.5 years ago I had 20" shoulders (it meant L clothes - and not because being overweight, but anything else looked too tight). When I kept looking in the mirror, shoulders and upper arms were one of my biggest concerns (after face) - I am ~ 16.5" now, S size for andro/unisex, somewhere around M/L for female clothes. Of course, when I am standing next to petite, fragile cis-woman, I see how bigger I am and there is limit how much smaller one can get, but hey, when I am staring at my male friends, they seem so large in comparison (and they used to be same or even smaller build-wise...). So, dont worry that much about shoulders and muscle mass, in due time it will melt away and if it works for You - You can always copy the fashion style from those tall, athletic amazon-type females.

I'm 6'1", and rather big built, big hands feet etc. But I just compared my hands to my moms, and hers is just slightly longer...
Hormones seem to be making them a lil bit thinner.

I suggest finding a new therapist ASAP, before s/he causes more damage...
Mentioning your size is not a issue,  but telling you you would never pas because of it is a big nono.

I don't think height is any barrier to passing. Also, it can sometimes help with the size of your hands and feet, it's more about proportion.

I know some very tall trans women who get by just fine. There's always limit to things, I've seen some ladies who's bodies were just too masculine to ever pass, but then it comes down to self confidence and how much you care about others perceptions of you. They looked happy.

Was your therapist saying you shouldn't transition because of these things or was she saying that you should be prepared that you might not pass and seeing if you could cope with that? If it's the former then definitely get a new therapist!

Oh and you're shoulders are NOT broad, I'm 5'7", with 17" shoulders, and whilst for a girl they may be a touch broad, no one has ever said I have broad shoulders.

I am 5'11" and 18 inch shoulders, so do not stress. Once we get on HRT some of that muscle will fall of and -fingers crossed- an inch or two of mass around the skeleton structure.

6'2" here, also thought I was too tall and large-built to ever make it, and yet now I'm happily post-transition and stealth to a majority of the people I work with.

Never say never.

6'3", 20" shoulders...seriously no one looks at me.

HRT will probably drop the muscle bulk from your shoulders in time anyway.

Your counsellor should be informed that passing is not just about looks. She needs to get with the program.

Quote from: Squircle on August 25, 2014, 03:16:02 AM
Was your therapist saying you shouldn't transition because of these things or was she saying that you should be prepared that you might not pass and seeing if you could cope with that? If it's the former then definitely get a new therapist!

It was the latter. I think the point of the conversation was for me to consider the possibility that I wouldn't pass although I think she was a bit too doom and gloom about it. She's always been very clear that transitioning or not is ultimately my choice. Other than this topic she's been really good for me so I'm not going to find a new therapist just yet. Thank you all for the reassurances.

You should read Carrie's thread about her struggles. She felt she was too tall and had a build that would never pass. She struggled much from her perceptions of herself, even when she looked very pretty and passable to everyone else. Look at her avatar, she is gorgeous.

 
Im 1.77 cm, I think thats 5'8" ,and Im often the tallest girl I see all day , one of the reasons people stare at me and doubt my gender is this.
Here is the deal though , I live in greece , people are short here, in the summer a lot of tourists come from countries like germany ,sweden etc and these girls are really tall like 1.85 cm tall , its cool,very cool.

So yeah , height in your case wont be a factor to passing and since you dont have broad shoulders if other areas are ok I think you should be fine.

you cant really know unless you try to transition

Quote from: LordKAT on August 25, 2014, 08:39:02 AM
You should read Carrie's thread about her struggles. She felt she was too tall and had a build that would never pass. She struggled much from her perceptions of herself, even when she looked very pretty and passable to everyone else. Look at her avatar, she is gorgeous.

Can someone point me to that thread? Apparently I'm not allowed to view Carrie's profile yet...

I used to be 6'3" in my younger days, but more like 6"2" now. The discs are getting thinner. Yeah, got the whole works, large hands, big feet, tall height, making it more challenging to pass.

Typo, of course, hit the wrong key, as always, lol, 6'2" of course. I think 6"2" would be a little too short.

The reality is that there are women and girls of all shapes and sizes.  There are plenty of factors that may influence our passing ability and no lack of advice on the subject, sigh. 

The height would not be an issue, I've heard HRT makes your slightly shorter.