Is this all you kitty cats think about?  sex, sex, and more sex?....geez I swear that this is the only place where I hear that word.  

tink

P.S.  BTW nice avatars Yvonne and Hidrix.

hello bad kitty,

you have had more time since your surgery than i have, so i don't know if that could potentially happen to me, too. i am at the two year mark, and i think that is around the time where you were at when you met your boyfriend. i am in the beginning of a new relationship myself.

post-op sex isn't as good as i had hoped it would be. i do orgasm, but not always. he has to be gentle, especially at first, and help me make it happen. obviously, if you don't orgasm after getting worked up sexually it can be a bit of a letdown, although even when that does happen i still must admit that i enjoy the act. i like the closeness and i love being female.

i am double your age, and my sex drive should be quite a bit lower than you own. really, for all i know your sex drive could be three times as much as my own. when you say your drive has decreased, to what extent do you mean? do you want to be with him once a week? three times a week? or is it less than that? right now, i am feeling passionate at least three times a week. a lot of it has to do with working myself into a sexy mood. i might watch porn before he comes over, kind of to set the mood. when a guy is all turned on, that is another big mood enhancer. maybe it would help you if you kind of psych yourself into the mood. anything can get mundane and repetitious if you don't spice it up a bit. if you ate your favorite dish 7 days in a row, it would lose its appeal. i think that can happen with sex, too. have you tried experimenting a little with different fantasies? you don't have to get all kinky - a little bit of spice can make a lot of difference.   

i have a lot of gg friends my age who have a lower sex drive than i do. my niece and her friends (who are about your age) think about sex a lot (or at least talk about it), but once they are in a relationship they don't have sex any more than i do. my niece was with a guy for a year and only had sex with him maybe once a week. she broke up with him shortly afterward.  what do your friends say? you probably should just talk to your gg friends your own age. post op and surgery kind of complicates the issue - you don't know about the results of anyone elses surgery. if your sex drive is a lot lower than theirs (and i mean someone in a relationship for awhile) you might want to compare notes and find out what they are doing differently from you. you are just a girl like they are, after all.

i know i had more questions than answers - i'm sorry i wasn't much help. i don't really think that your sex drive is being affected physically, though - at least i hope not - but it won't hurt to get bloodwork done checking all the hormone levels. if your boy friend thinks about having sex with you a lot, take it as a compliment. there are all kinds of ways to help him out! LOL that can be fun all by itself, as long as you are not feeling like you are just being used. i wish you a long and happy life and sex life...hugz back!

Quote from: HerJeepness on February 05, 2007, 01:30:20 PM
i had surgery 3 years ago, previous to that i never had much drive, now that i'm through with surgery i have even less..... its starting to create a rift at home.... he's dosing with T and i'm on shots of E..... i feel wonderful with my body, fully sensate, self lubricating multiple orgasm capable... i just never have any drive....  i dont want him to suffer because i dont have any drive.... but i'm not sure what to do. i love snuggling and being really close etc etc but it takes me almost forever to get warmed up..... once i get warmed up things get rather hot and both of us are left very satified... but its so infrequent... and i know he must be struggling with frustration....

Umm, what procedure did you have that gives you self lubrication?

Hi all

I am new to this forum and don't know any of you, so I can only base my judgment on what I have read in these forums.

For some reason there doesn't seem to be enough destinction between sex drive and orgasms, they are 2 different things so let's not discuss orgasms in this particular topic as it is really about the loss of sex drive.

I had my SRS in 1986 when I was 26. The first few years were crazy, it was as if I wanted to catch up on all those years I had been without sex. Eventually I settled down and found my first boyfriend. We were very much into eachother in the beginning but after about a year my sex drive started to drop and eventually I lost all interest in having sex with my boyfriend... so it ruined our relationship. A couple of years later I met a new man and sure enough, the same thing happened. Eventually I met my current husband and no surprises there, same thing again after about a year. We have been together since 2000 and are on the vurge of a divorce simply because I don't feel that I am contributing to the "partnership" and he obviously feels he is missing out.

Ok, that's the short version of my life but that is actually not why I am posting here.

For those who are interested in this topic may also be interested to know that you are not alone. I live in Australia and recent research shows that approx 43% of all women in Australia experience loss of sex drive. I guess it somehow justifies that about half TS ladies experience the same... however...

A trial of a new drug has started in some of Australias major cities. They believe that the female sex drive is triggered in the brain and this drug is designed to stimualte the particular area and increase the woman's sex drive. This is very promissing and it is something I have been waiting for for 100 years (well it sure feels like it). The trials are being done on women between 25 and 45, unfortunately i am 2 years past that so I will miss out on the trials. I wonder whether it will have the same effect on men and women since it stimulates the brain and not by hormones.

Anyway... that's my rant. Unfortunately I don't have any detalied information about this or even a website to send you guys to. I have contacted the particular TV channel who aired the story yesterday and I promise I will post information  here when I have any.... if anyone is interested!

'ave a fair dinkum good one!

I've been on progesterone pills for about a year now, and while I didn't have much of a sex drive before them, it has plummeted while I've been on them. The only time it comes to light is when the opportunity for a 'new experience' comes up. If it's the 'same old', I'm not interested.

Quote from: tarasita on September 24, 2007, 04:54:48 AM
Hi all

I am new to this forum and don't know any of you, so I can only base my judgment on what I have read in these forums.

For some reason there doesn't seem to be enough destinction between sex drive and orgasms, they are 2 different things so let's not discuss orgasms in this particular topic as it is really about the loss of sex drive.

I had my SRS in 1986 when I was 26. The first few years were crazy, it was as if I wanted to catch up on all those years I had been without sex. Eventually I settled down and found my first boyfriend. We were very much into eachother in the beginning but after about a year my sex drive started to drop and eventually I lost all interest in having sex with my boyfriend... so it ruined our relationship. A couple of years later I met a new man and sure enough, the same thing happened. Eventually I met my current husband and no surprises there, same thing again after about a year. We have been together since 2000 and are on the vurge of a divorce simply because I don't feel that I am contributing to the "partnership" and he obviously feels he is missing out.

...

Hi Tarasita,

Welcome to the forum! I find your post is very interesting... Cause you mentioned during the first a few years post-op you're crazy about sex, it probably means you changed sexual partners often, and sex were more interesting at that time... so I'm just wondering after you settled down to be with stable your bfs, your sex drive went down, is it because you're tired about sex with the same partners? or it's just because you're just no more interested in sex at all with anybody? Cause I beleive that's different... If it's the case that you're no more interested in sex with anybody, is it because you're no more able to get orgasm? Comparing to you, I'm just a newbie (6 monthes post-op), so I'd appreciate to get some first hand experience from you... Thanks in advance...

A.R.

Hi A.R.

I don't think the lack of "desire" to engage in sexual activities is linked to whether you are able to have an orgasm or not. The only orgasms I have had are the ones I have woken up with during the night. However I have friends that have frequent orgasms when with a guy but they say the same thing about lack of sex drive.

After hearing about the above studies I don't necessarily think that the lack of sex drive is related to being TS either. A huge difference is in the solution, while a GG may not have problems increasing testosterone levels in her body, I'm pretty sure a TS would do anything to avoid it.

I'm sure everyone gets a bit bored with having sex with the same partner year in and year out but with no sex drive it just makes it so much harder to make an effort. Personally I would love to have my sex drive back as I think it might save our marriage.

I'm not sure whether I answered your questions or not as I'm not really clear on what you want to know.

what?  sex drive   i'm in a lot of pain.  how could i even think about sex?
this saturday is my first month anniversary.  still fairly new at this & getting used to the dilation routine.  grrrr...

I have no sex drive at all! It is only three weeks after my surgery, and maybe it is normal, but I am afraid it will never return. I know, I am special case, but I think sex drive have nothing to do with that. I still like to watch pretty women, especially if provocative dressed, but, there are no more those feeling of blood pressure, pulse increasing, "butterflies" in mu stomach... Does it needs some time to recover, or it is just lack of testosterone (I still did not star to take it).

I think sex drive varies from one person to another.  I am pretty sure that a lot of this is in the mind.

I have pretty well zero testosterone, but my sex drive is absolutely alive and well thank you. I am very willing and I always enjoy... Yes I may not initiate as often as some might, although it is certainly not unheard of, and if my partner winks an eye at me then I'll certainly roll over and open up shop

For me female sex drive is a completely different feeling to male sex drive. Its a slower hotter smoldering yearning thing rather than a quick SURGE. But boy is it powerful when it has you in it's grip!

My personal suspicion is that some of those who report no sex drive may simply have failed to learn to recognise the new feelings for what they are.

I just want to back up what jenny is saying, though I am pre-op.

I was thinking for ages that I had no sex drive. Since starting hormones my desire has changed a lot.  Yet I am totally receptive to my partner, and initiate as often as not. I want it, I love it. I love the intimacy, the connection, I love how she makes me feel, I love being touched. It is just very different to how it felt on T. I'm recognizing now what It means for me to be turned on, and it is like a moldering yearning. I don't get erections most of the time either, that focus has totally gone.

So perhaps my sex drive is actually pretty high. I could quite happily have sex everyday I think, except sex with women seems to take a long time and I would never get enough sleep, not that I would complain! 

I have to say that my sex drive is plenty health post-op! It was fairly healthy while on HRT, but body image issues stood on the way of me acting on anything. I am very happy with my sex drive as it is today and hope I keep it! Two more days till I see my girl friend again, part of that is my sex drive talking!!!

Nope....can't relate to a lack of drive.... I'd hope I've still got a few decades to go in fact...before I take up golf....lol

Only pre-op while on Androcur....did I wane...ish

3 months post-op no problemo..... though I'm an afternoon's evenings gal....but will submit to morning glory quickies... if staying somewhere suitably glam on his account, having been taken away for the weekend....lol

my libido is also alive and well post-op, and I think it's wonderful. Like Kat referred to, once you can just let go and experience sex drive without the body image issues of having the wrong parts, its a truly beautiful thing.

Mine is a lot less since the surgery. I was concerned before that it would be difficult to go without for months while I heal, but to my surprise that hasn't been a problem at all. Yet the ability to umm, have a great time, is much greater now.