My current plan is to work on losing weight until the end of the year then start on HRT in January. It also gives me time to work on facial hair removal and make sure that this is actually something that I really want rather than rushing into things. And my wife said she's planning on staying with me at least until I start hormones, after that she's not sure how comfortable she'll be. At some point she's going to have to move out and my guess is that start of HRT will be it. So I've got a lot of good reasons to be patient and take things slow for the rest of the year.

That said, it's driving me crazy! Literally the last thing I think of when I go to bed is transitioning and it's the first thing I think about when I wake up and it occupies my mind all day. It is a special kind of torture holding off for another 4 months. Any suggestions on how to cope?

Hi there,

I think we are in similar boats. I considered doing the "pre" weight loss but ultimately I think that what is killing me is a two-fold weight and dysphoric feeling. So, I am having gastric bypass approximately 2 months after I start hormones. I am starting hormones Sept. 24 because that was the earliest appointment I could get.

The waiting is hard. Hell, let me be real. My HRT letter was approved Monday. I was elated. Then, I didn't know what to do. The past few days I have spent cycling between "I won't pass/be pretty" and "Am I making a huge mistake" and "why can't I just start now!"  Things I've read have indicated that all of these are normal, considering my sitch.

I've also read that having a hobby is a good distractor. Not for me. My hobby is obsessing about passing. Worrying about it. Wondering if I'll be a freak. Laughed at. Then I get depressed about how this is changing my marriage, wondering how people will react...

So....I don't think that's much help, but you aren't alone.

Actually a hobby might be a good thing. Try to find something that you can be passionate about, many find a loss of direction after they reach their goals. Having something else to focus on should mean less of a loss when you get to where you want to be.

start learning to apply cosmetics. The sooner, the better. The drug store stuff is fine to learn with....but eventually you'll want good stuff so it will last all day.

Work on your voice. It took me about a year to have not only a good passing speaking voice...but also to have female sounding sneezes, coughs...and of course bedroom sounds 😉 Find a female singer that you admire, and SING it loud in the car while driving around.

Work on body language (although a lot of this will come naturally once the E starts flowing....did for me anyway). Learn to sit with your legs together, for example...and how to walk in heels.

There is soooo much you can do while waiting for HRT....but I totally feel for you....that period was Hell for me, and I was much like you...totally obsessed, and wanting to get the ball rolling already!