I'm about older than dirt yet only within the last couple weeks have I come to the realization that I'm transgender mtf. Unlike so many who knew as far back as they can remember, I've suppressed any knowledge or understanding for, oh, let's say some 60 years. Therapy does strange things!
Speaking of strange, it was my wife's discovery of another 'manifestation' of my issues that drove me to therapy 4 years ago. At that time, she found out at least the basics of how I'd been dealing with life (adult baby and cross dressing that I flat out denied was cross dressing). I faced the ultimatum of seeing a psychiatrist or taking a walk.
Within the last month I'd been struggling with something I knew I was hiding from myself. I began to think it might be TG, but kept denying it. My therapy sessions were spent struggling with this; I'd say the word "transgender" and then change the subject. Finally one day on my drive home from my session, I spontaneously said to myself, "I'm a woman." The weight of the world seemed to lift off my shoulders. I smiled broadly. Later at home, dressed as I like to dress, I spontaneously said, "I love me." I was so incredibly thrilled to realize who I am.
Now, while I still know I'm meant to be a woman, I look at so much I stand to lose by coming out. Right now my biggest challenge is my wife. After the incident that began my therapy, she was furious that I'd hidden this from her. I don't feel I can hide this new knowledge and yet am so very afraid of losing her. I guess this isn't uncommon here, is it? It just feels so awful to be stuck in the middle - if I do tell her, I'm sure I lose; if I don't, I lose because I need to be able to express myself.

Hey, sorry, this was only supposed to be an introduction! BTW, are there any other older people on here?

Welcome to the community, big sister!

*hugs*

Big hello and welcome..! 
I'm 54, and there's a few more old fogies around here.! Haha.. 

Its great to meet you..!
Cheers.

Hi OlderTG 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

Hey, O.N., welcome. There are quite a few of us grown-ups here -- I'm 62, and started transitioning a year or so ago. It can be done!

QuoteFinally one day on my drive home from my session, I spontaneously said to myself, "I'm a woman." The weight of the world seemed to lift off my shoulders.

Something very similar happened to me last summer -- driving back to the city after a few days at the lake I said to myself, "Wow -- I don't have to pretend to be a woman any more!"  As I thought it, I felt my whole body relax... it was definitely a sign that I was on the right path.

Welcome ON to the Susan's family.

What is age but a number. I also hold a number that shows wisdom.

We all struggle but seem somehow to find the way to GD help.

Walk the path as you know is needed for happiness.

Hugs

Glad to find other members here that are more mature (I still don't want to accept that I am getting old!) I will be 50 on Sept 7th.  I find it quite frustrating that my partner (since 1989) is less than accepting of my desire to finally be me!  Not knowing how my son (he is 30) will react is also very concerning as they are thee two most important people in my life.  I have little doubt my immediate family will NOT be accepting of my decision, but I have pretty much decided that on my birthday - I am moving forward with my attempt to be me!  I have known, as long as I can remember that I should be male but have tried to live up to everyone else's expectations for 50 years!

Life is to short!  I must now embrace me - no matter what the cost.  I have always dressed masculine but always viewed as butch. The last couple of months I have been binding and using an STP - just these steps have removed any doubt in my eyes, but it still hurts that I don' seem to have the support of my partner  I think she is still more concerned about what others will think.  I guess I am just to the point I don't care, but since we have been together since 1989, this does sting !

Anyway, sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post.its is just comforting to know I am not alone In this!

Each age group has their own challenges and in many ways we face less emotional issues than the younger ones. In most cases we have children and are financially secure but we have a long history of friends and habits and they are our egnima. I am realistic and my SO and I are great friends and companions and while we do many things together but we are not a "couple".  I look at it as a new leaf in life filled with new wonders and knowledge - only we have the privilege of living in two genders. Good luck on this great journey.

Thanks so much for this welcome! Far more than I expected in such a short time... or at all! I have one online TG friend who has been kicking me to get support. There's one or two groups around in the general area and once I talk with my wife that first time, will see if I can contact them and find out if they're right for me. Being able to reach out to others here seems like it will be good support that I can depend on in any number of ways.

I'll be posting in other areas of the forum for sure! THANKS again!!

Quote from: JandJ on August 27, 2014, 11:58:56 PM
Glad to find other members here that are more mature (I still don't want to accept that I am getting old!) I will be 50 on Sept 7th.  I find it quite frustrating that my partner (since 1989) is less than accepting of my desire to finally be me!  Not knowing how my son (he is 30) will react is also very concerning as they are thee two most important people in my life.  I have little doubt my immediate family will NOT be accepting of my decision, but I have pretty much decided that on my birthday - I am moving forward with my attempt to be me!  I have known, as long as I can remember that I should be male but have tried to live up to everyone else's expectations for 50 years!

Life is to short!  I must now embrace me - no matter what the cost.  I have always dressed masculine but always viewed as butch. The last couple of months I have been binding and using an STP - just these steps have removed any doubt in my eyes, but it still hurts that I don' seem to have the support of my partner  I think she is still more concerned about what others will think.  I guess I am just to the point I don't care, but since we have been together since 1989, this does sting !

Anyway, sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post.its is just comforting to know I am not alone In this!

I don't consider this a hijack at all! Knowing about others is important for me. I'm looking for how others think and feel in order to judge my own thoughts and feelings. Thanks - it is helpful.