Well I'm much older, but it's really the same issue.
I was married and had to decide between acting on my trans feelings and probably losing my wife, or ignoring them.
It was terrifying. I hadn't been alone for decades and I still loved my wife a lot (though we'd been through some rough years).
In the end, I realized that I am who I am and I can't keep pretending. I had no control over her reaction. Her reaction was hers. We ended up separating, but I still think it was the right decision.
Hugs, Jessica. The very worst part of being transgender is the effect on significant others.