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My inner struggles

Started by Jessicuhh, August 28, 2014, 10:45:08 AM

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Jessicuhh

Well first of all I just want to start off by saying this forum has been a huge help to make me feel less alone in my situation and I appreciate all of the advice and insight I have read. I'm a 21 year old mtf pre everything and basically over the past few weeks I've become more accepting of these feelings inside of me. I feel as if I can no longer hide this secret inside of me. I can't imagine a life of keeping this bottled up inside. My plan is to first come out to my girlfriend of two years and work from there. My problem is that when I'm alone I feel so ready and certain that I need to come out to her, but the second I'm with her I start to feel ashamed and begin to repress these feelings again and cover them up. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. Even though my girlfriend knows I have a more than average submissive/sensitive side for a male she has no idea about these true feelings inside of me. She's a very accepting and loving girl but I'm still so scared of her possible reactions to all this. Anybody stuggle with this same problem?
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suzifrommd

Well I'm much older, but it's really the same issue.

I was married and had to decide between acting on my trans feelings and probably losing my wife, or ignoring them.

It was terrifying. I hadn't been alone for decades and I still loved my wife a lot (though we'd been through some rough years).

In the end, I realized that I am who I am and I can't keep pretending. I had no control over her reaction. Her reaction was hers. We ended up separating, but I still think it was the right decision.

Hugs, Jessica. The very worst part of being transgender is the effect on significant others.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Jessica Merriman

From one Jessica to another, the feeling you are having are very normal. We have all been there in one way or another.  :)
After 15 post's feel free to PM me about anything at all.
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specialK103080

My SO is MtF pre everything and it took her years to come out to me. But it was the best thing as it's helped us move forward as now she is being honest with herself and with me.
I know not everyone can be as accepting as me, but you have to be honest as you never know.
All of me, all of you.

You can't rush something that you want to last forever.
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Gina Taylor

Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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rosinstraya

Welcome!

This path is not easy for anyone. Dealing with how it affects partners is a significant part of that.

But the start is the main thing- keep popping by and join in the conversations. There are plenty of people here with a lot of good advice.

All the best.
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Jessicuhh

Thanks for all your kind words everyone! The hardest part is to finally be honest with myself and to those around me. I know I can't live a happy life if I have to keep suppressing these feelings. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on my progress!
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