You guys have any advice on how to go about talking to a therapist?...Cause If they doubt me, cause I used to not have the, "Man trapped in a womans body" stereotype as a kid, I probably will have to wait even longer. It almost feels like the more I doubt myself and question myself, the more everything seems to unravel to nothing. I've never really had anyone give me a basic or working way to "finding" myself, and sometimes it might just be because I've become so freaking patient. I also feel like I've lost some of my self to an extent, but on the other hand I don't currently LIKE being my old self anyway.
I've heard sayings, even from my mom, thats life is mostly about CREATING yourself. And I don't really want to "create" or develop into a man. I don't DESPISE it like a lot of people, but I've had my hate of my own masculinity in the past for sure. I just think the pathway to hating it is kinda dumb...I mean nothings perfect. I just kinda feel like, if I don't go down a trail or road at this crossroads, I'll have to trailblaze into something comfortable. I don't really feel like trailblazing too much in such an ignorant world, however, I really don't like my male side at all...When I DO like it, I kinda feel like I'm just being almost sexually or aesthetically turned on by it as if I were in some other body. I mean...Maybe I'm just too experimental, and I am I admit, but I don't want to be purposely left out on the fringe as my mom puts it. I need SOME connection to something...
I'll probably get comments that say, "GO IT SLOW!" But on the other hand, I've heard, and seen transpeople that went so well in their lives, that even say they wish they could've started at a young age...
I dk... I guess "my patience" is really running loose these days...Any advice?
Appreciated Greatly,
-Xen