Hi, ladies.  I hope that it is ok that I post in here, I really could use some advice.

I know a 17 year old MTF, whose father was willing to put her on T-blockers and estrogen.  The problem is that her breasts are now growing and her Dad expects her to remain and complete high school as male.  I was wondering what you ladies recommend in terms of hiding her breasts?

Obviously a larger shirt (she goes to a private school and wears polos and button downs), other thoughts?  I had assumed that binding was not an option, but I talked with someone at a gender clinic who said that although binding may be uncomfortable due to the breast growth, it actually doesn't hurt the growth/health of the breasts.

She would have to only manage it for a school day.  First of all, do you all agree with what this gender clinic said?  Additionally, anything you all I recommend.  I only know about binders that FTMs wear.  I don't know anything about binder that aren't as tight or a compression sports bra?  I don't know how large her breasts are.  It is not obvious that she has breast, but she told me they are growing.  She has been on blockers for about a year and 6 months on spiro.

I do know that her father will buy her whatever binder/bra I recommend, even if he won't let her socially transition.

Any advice would be appreciated as she doesn't know any other trans* people, so I would like to be helpful to her.

Thanks for your time!

You need to be very careful, young boobs need the right support, binding them tight could make them saggy or even damage them.

Quote from: Nicole on August 28, 2014, 11:17:50 PM
You need to be very careful, young boobs need the right support, binding them tight could make them saggy or even damage them.

Exactly, that is what I was thinking; I found it strange that a specialist at a gender center would say it was not a concern. 

I've always had a similar concern where I want hem to grow but not be visible until I feel comfortable enough to say hey world I'm a woman instead of a dude with breast.


My suggestion would be lose fitting clothes if possible since to much construction could lead to issues later. From what I've heard from my ftm friends binders are designed to hide breast until you can get rid of them. Not for just hiding temporarily.  From what I've been able to find a tight fitting sports bra would be the best option but anything that binds to tight can cause the same issues as a binder, so be careful.

Aus76, I don't know if a sweater or hoodie is part of the school uniform.  I will ask her, thanks.

Releca, yes, binding for FTMs does break down the breast material over time (this was my personal experience), so that is why binding didn't make sense to me when I was told it was ok to do so.  I will mention the sports bra as the best option.  If anyone has any brands or specific suggestions I would appreciate it.

She is under her father's thumb and has no choice about not being out until she goes to college, which will be in Sept 2015.  It is really unfortunate.  She is not so great at researching things for herself, so that is why I am asking.  Thanks again.

Brett since I'll start hrt soon I'll see what some good brands would be. Don't want people at my work to see things happen before I'm ready after all ;-)

This suggestion may not be well received, but I'll throw it out anyway. Instead of trying to hide her transition, why not simply let everyone know she is a transitioning transgendered person, which is the reality of the situation. If she is transgendered, the longer she pretends to impersonate a male the more harmful the situation is for her. It might be worth a talk with the school councelor about this. While it's true that ignorant kids can be cruel and ignorant school officials can be worse in some situations, there is a growing trend toward understanding and tolerance toward transgendered persons, particularly among younger persons. If nothing else, this could be an opportunity to enlighten the students of the school and benefit your friend as well. It's just an idea.

~ Lyric ~

Hi hi! If it's an all boys private school I suggest sportswear like long or short sleeve 'skins' which is basically compression tops. Another option is sports bras. Hope this helps :3

In high school if you look different than the norm it can be a difficult situation especially for boys. Looking the least feminine can result in ridicule and teasing from the other boys. Wearing any type of bra will even bring on more girly teasing by the other boys. Her (his) best choice would probably be to just leave them natural without placing any undue emphasis or de-emphasis on them. When the other boys tease him just pass it off as a medical condition. Just act normal and unconcerned about it.

Just curious, is the school boys only or coed? How would high school girls react to a boy growing breasts?

For me given my present situation, I would enjoy having female breast growth and would not attempt to hide then.

It would really depend on the end cup size as well. A cup could be passed over easily. B cup could be the same as A or gynecomastia. Most would excuse a medical Disability to an extent. C + you would half go hide to make it an A or B. An all boys school would potentially direct unwanted attention plus not sure what she does for gym classes. I think a Co - ed environment may be easier in some ways but in others not so much since you have something to compare it to. The next point to think about is body type. Someone built but not overweight or even overweight could hide better than someone like me with a slinder frame. I mean heck I gained 10 pounds and it's noticeable. Then again I was underwieght. (Don't hate me, its genetics)

With this about how to hide it really comes down to don't over do it like a bedsheet to cover a dog but don't under do it like hiding an elephant under a lamp shade.(bad analogy I know) in my opinion the best bet would be to dress to the level she feels comfortable showing and it would come off more natural that an oversized sweater in the summer. (Please forgive me its late)

Maybe her "supportive" father needs to reevaluate his position. He is essentially the core of the problem here, not the breasts. I'm guessing your friend is about to start their final year? Given the nature of breast growth and how unpredictable it is she could end up with a considerable bust by the time the next 12 months roll around. Trying to keep them hidden will most likely cause distress and dysphoria. The father should reconsider not allowing his daughter to transition at school. Speaking from my own experience, going from hiding the girls to not hiding them was a massively positive step in readjusting to my new body.

I couldn't have said it any better than how Grace said it.  The problem is not hiding the breasts, but the damage that the father is unintentionally doing with his stance by forcing his daughter to be a different person than she really is and to have to hide her body.

If you think about it, she can let it be obvious and still not have to come out. She can just tell people she was diagnosed with gynecomastia or something, without having to come out.

It probably isn't the best choice, but it's probably the easiest choice.

iiMTF

Light compression singlet/shirt, baggy uniform are possibly the best compromise.  Bras would be a bad idea as boys thump each other at school, and if someone twigs it could get ugly.  Anything noticeable should be passed off as medical issues.

Gym exemption is going to be essential.  That'll also allow for funky chest happenings as well.  The harder part will be the social aspect at an all boys school.  Whatever-phobia is the norm, boys don't grow our of that until college/university.

If she's on full HRT, as a teen she could very well develop past the stages where any sort of explanation could work.  Dad needs to re-evaluate his position - he probably means well in trying to avoid dramas while studying for final year HS.

This will not end well unless the bullying which I saw at high school no longer occurs.  Assuming that they cannot openly transition at that school, perhaps they should change school.  Otherwise, depending on build and breast size, then under armor or a specialised gynocomastia compression vest may be worth investigating.  Definitely needs a gym exemption.  I am feeling really uncomfortable with what this parent is doing.  The stress must be unbearable for the student.  Have they discussed this with the school - they need to be honest with someone who can provide some protection and understanding.

I have to deal with this all the time.  My puppies are happily pretty big and I get away passing as a male at work. 

If you can't come out now you can't.  This is a huge change to your life.  Small steps are not unreasonable.  They help you adjust and those around you.  Great for those that can jump out but I tend to agree on finishing HS as a male if you are 17 and nearly out.  Then transition after.  You just make your life and your family's life harder, I think, doing it now. 
 
If you are at B cup or bigger then look for skin tone pullover or sports bras that you can't adjust.  You don't want to have have bra bits that are visible through multiple shirts or to the touch.  You have to figure you will get hugged or touched in some way that is a give away.  For now it is better if you can skip a bra.  Next layer is a colored t-shirt.  On top of that is a loose button up that you just button the bottom couple of buttons.  With this it isn't too tight.  Oh yea, try to buy a size up on shirts.  I normally would be a large but if I wear xtra large I can get by.  In my case I normally wear a front close t-back bra that is invisible under clothes.  The only concern is near the neck where I need to be sure it doesn't show. 
If the weather is cool enough I have also managed to use compression t-shirts in lieu of a bra.  I go that route where I have to button all the way up or some such thing. 

Total pain in the neck that I can't simply come out yet but you do what you need to do for your family as well as yourself.  Good luck!