Fighting the urge to vomit when you find out that someone who had seemed to support you actually thinks you're trash.

I found out today that my sister in law doesn't trust me to look after my niece and nephew. I don't drink, I've never touched drugs, never broken the law, only had 1 sexual partner in my life, had the same job for 8 years.

But her mother on the other hand, looks after them all the time.  Between alcohol and drugs, that woman hasn't been sober in 40 years, hasn't worked in decades, screwed all of her own kids up in ways you can't even imagine.

I did get to take care of them one time when my brother went to a bar, got wasted and passed out with some random girl. I kept the kids calm when he didn't come home, we watched moves, i put them to bed, and in the morning we made pancakes and played games till he finally stumbled home.

I take some small consolation knowing that the kids love me.
I hate my life.

Not worth hating your life when their mothers seems so much more disturbing. Sometimes you have to be your own best friend.  It still hurts when family ditches you like that.


Furry hugs.

it's messed  up, but you can't let others decide who you are.  I've lost 4  nephews and two nieces and 3  grand nephews and grand nieces. as Nicholas Cage said in the movie Knowing " sh-- happens ".

Not being trusted when everything about who you are and how you live your life exudes moral fortitude, something you probably probably work really hard to keep, is is definitely difficult.  I get shot down with things like this sometimes.  Usually though, like it sounds might be in this case, the stabs to the heart come from someone who's opinions aren't ones to be respected anyway.  Don't be blinded by another persons inability to see.  >hugs<

You're in good company here; my sister won't allow me around my nieces and nephews for fear of them catching the gay.

I know it's painful but all we can do is try not to let them get to us; their ignorance, their loss.

Seems to me that the nut didn't fall far from the tree. Your sister in-law seems a lot more comfortable having a man in her life that gets trashed and sleeps with random women. Which probably isn't a far throw from what her mom does in her spare time.

Considering how dysfunctional she and her personal life is, is it any wonder she doesn't want you to watch the kids? Perhaps the kids carry on for days about how nice you are after a visit? You are so opposite from her in many ways. Jealousy perhaps is rearing its ugly head?

Don't hate your life. A lot of us are in this same boat with being excluded from our niece's and nephews. It's not the kids who have a problem it's the parents or family who have the problem with who we are no matter how good, moral & just all around nice people that we are. In most cases they are probably going to use the kids against you to get you to stop transitioning by saying that as long as you are a "guy" you get to see them but never as who you really are.

I'm going through the same thing right now with my niece and nephew who I most likely won't get to see until they figure things out or turn 18 which can be up to 12 years from now. It's sad but I try to not let that get me down. It's the family that have the problem with me and that's their issue to deal with while I move forward. The kids love me no matter what and I will keep moving forward in my journey regardless of what tactics that my family uses against me to try to get me to not transition. My family is using the if you stay a "guy" or be one around the kids then it's all ok and I was onboard with that until I went full time. I even went against my word and saw the kids in guy mode twice after that with no hope that I'd ever really get to see the kids otherwise. It was very hard for me to say goodbye to the kids especially since the kids didn't know what was really going on and the fact that my family did something truly disgusting by taking pictures of me doing it and forcing me to do so by calling me the villain if I didn't and would completely disown me if I didn't do it "for the kids". 

I clicked because the thread title was exactly how I felt earlier today... Like I was going to vomit any moment. Having coughing spells like I was, but nothing ever actually came up. It wasn't for exactly the same reasons, but there are a lot of parallels. I think we both could have used a long, caring hug, and I really wish I could have given it to you.

*gives you the warmest internet hug possible*

Things will be okay.

*gently rubs your back*

Things will be okay.

Quote from: Pikachu on August 30, 2014, 04:54:09 PM
I clicked because the thread title was exactly how I felt earlier today... Like I was going to vomit any moment. Having coughing spells like I was, but nothing ever actually came up. It wasn't for exactly the same reasons, but there are a lot of parallels. I think we both could have used a long, caring hug, and I really wish I could have given it to you.

*gives you the warmest internet hug possible*

Things will be okay.

*gently rubs your back*

Things will be okay.

Thanks for the love and support girls <3

It really floored me because she has always supported me. She's bi, i know she has had threesomes with other women. She even frequents a gay bar that is famous for its drag show. All around, not the type of person you would suspect to come down with transphobia.

Apparently when my brother asked her about me watching the kids, she said "how well do you really know him" It's like wtf? I'm his kid sister, he has literally known me since the day I was born.

Wow... *blink blink* Well, just goes to show that not all LGBs are supportive of Ts. I have come across that from time to time, unfortunately.

Please don't hate your life. It's not you at fault it is her. In laws can be a weird bunch. Some are great and you wish they were your own flesh and blood but a lot of them you wonder what your sibling ever saw in them in the first place. They say you can't chose your family and, unless you're in a country with arranged marriages, you certainly can't choose your in laws. You are the better person here.