Quote from: calicarly on April 13, 2014, 05:32:19 AM
I am flabbergasted, that so many of you think that wearing women's clothes would be cross dressing, it's like Most of you don't realize that being transgender is all about, so long you are a woman heart and would then you CAN NOT cross dress by wearing women's clothes, in fact, I think you cross dress by wearing male clothes, it isn't about making your body comfortable, it's about making your mind comfortable, I am with the girls who say make clothes to me were always like barb wire, awful. Dressing up should be, for many, a way to realize how wonderful they feel, how much more connected they are to their true self then. Not a matter of what others will think, fear . Should never be in a transgender woman's repertoir !!

While I agree that a woman on the inside should be able to be a woman on the outside too, OP makes a good and sober point.

I've seen a lot of people in the LGBT community "cheerlead" people into thinking they can do or be whoever they want. In the real world this is not true. This is harsh, but if someone physically looks like a man and wears women's clothes, to most people in the real world they'll appear as a man wearing women's clothes. If someone can ignore this judgement then that's wonderful. But I think it's really hurtful.

I started wearing typical guy's teeshirts and jeans and moved from more androgynous, to more feminine, to typical women's clothes. But this was over a couple years. One of the biggest things in my opinion is becoming comfortable in these clothes as often it's not only the clothes themselves that define gender but the way someone presents in them (gait, etc.).

ssssssssssss

Quote from: teeg on April 26, 2014, 07:52:52 PM
I've seen a lot of people in the LGBT community "cheerlead" people into thinking they can do or be whoever they want. In the real world this is not true.

Wow! This floored me! This posted on a support site? Where does this anger stem from?

It makes no sense that wearing traditional female clothing should be crossdressing for men when wearing traditional male clothing is totally normal and acceptable for women.

Quote from: mac1 on August 02, 2014, 07:49:20 PM
It makes no sense that wearing traditional female clothing should be crossdressing for men when wearing traditional male clothing is totally normal and acceptable for women.

Males invented "no homo" and thus are the ones who "cross dress" Women are generally allowed to wear whatever we want because we're awesome like that. ^_^
90% of the male existence boils down to penis and homophobia.

Quote from: Juliett on August 04, 2014, 06:54:29 AM
Males invented "no homo" and thus are the ones who "cross dress" Women are generally allowed to wear whatever we want because we're awesome like that. ^_^
90% of the male existence boils down to penis and homophobia.

Never based my existance on my penis. It is just an unnecessary appendage and it does not have any practical purpose for me.

I'm with the OP and not really wanting to cross dress yet. The problem is that the female clothes don't fit my body as is and so it makes me very uncomfortable to see myself in them. I've tried some cross dressing in private and while I like the feel of the clothes actually seeing myself in them really bothers me. Once I've been on HRT for a while and actually have a somewhat feminine body I think I'll want to start dressing in girl attire.

So just an update ( as the OP) now that this thread has been dredged out of the depths... Once I started to take Hormones, my mind shifted and I started wearing women's clothes. But at that point I wouldn't consider it cross dressing anymore. After all I had female hormones coursing through my body.

Oh, and I'll fitting clothes still make me feel weird inside, so that is definitely a thing, I mean the major source of my issues before.

Oh, and fitting skinny jeans are amazing! They are probably the best fitting clothes I own now, so that's why I like them the best.

Sorry for rambling... I had coffee!

Oh and Jessica, that comment you quoted, yeah it seem like a shot out of the dark, but I just ignored it at the time.

Alright everyone: carry on with the topic if you want, as I don't need it now that it no longer applies to me.

Clothes don't make the person however they are almost everything about how other perceive us. I do wish I was not constrained to wearing male clothes, but I am aware of how others perceive me and for now I still have to present myself as a man.

I'm pre-everything and do not crossdress unless you call occasionally wearing pretty PJs crossdressing. I have met a few others in the TG spectrum that I would consider more of a transvestite than a classic transsexual and do not understand why I do not want to play dress up and some even question the validity of my gender issues based on this.

My plan is to dress androgynous which I already do to an extent and when I start HRT slowly present myself as more feminine. I still fear people who know me as man seeing me as a women.

I am not happy nor comfortable living as man. "Cross-dressing" does not help with this.

I would like to be able to pass as female when wearing casual unisex type clothes. Then maybe I could progress to being female in other ways and even to wearing more feminine clothes.

Quote from: mac1 on August 30, 2014, 12:42:35 PM
I would like to be able to pass as female when wearing casual unisex type clothes. Then maybe I could progress to being female in other ways and even to wearing more feminine clothes.

It's actually kind of the other way, learn to pass with as much help as you can get, in very feminine(not flaming) attire. When you have passing down to a science it doesn't matter if you are cross-dressed(that would be: back to your prior presentation), you will still be perceived as your current target gender.

No amount of male clothes change how I look or am perceived anymore, in my profile pic, does my hospital gown cause a gender preconception?

All;
This is a very interesting topic for me. Having transitioned once before and lived full time as a woman for nearly 2 years, only de-transitioning  due to financial circumstances and now some 30 years later transitioning again, this thread reminds me of  a period I went through the first time (and which has helped me now on my second transition).
When I transitioned before for a period in the early days I was still working as a man (for the first 60 days) and I went to a hypnotherapist who through treatments got me to accept that I was only cross dressing as a male, but that normality for me was that I was a woman and that the cross dressing need was only a transitory thing.
Then when I started working full time as a woman as a Secretary/receptionist, I never needed socially to dress as a male. (In fact my girlfriends one weekend gave all my male clothes to the thrift shop and made me shred my last pair of mens trousers. Mind you getting back a male wardrobe once I de-transitioned two years later was another costly affair.
Now on my second transition, I am dressing more non binary/andro where I can, but I find that I feel just more comfortable in a skirt or dress and anyway now increasingly so my male clothes just don't fit properly any more since with my increasing curves (bust, hips. thighs and especially bottom),only women's pants/.jeans or a skirt/dress looks natural on me as they are cut to fir the curves, unlike my old male clothes

Funny thing though is that I get a sense now/almost feeling that I am naked when leaving the house if I am not wearing at least mascara and lipstick.  So if in andro mode because of a work meeting, I always put on lip gloss
Judith

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 02, 2014, 07:00:05 PM
Wow! This floored me! This posted on a support site? Where does this anger stem from?

She's right you know. That is an accurate observation, not anger induced just keeping it real. So many have unrealistic expectations about transitioning.

While in some communities it does not matter how one dresses, it means everything in most. The reality is some need a lot of help before the can come close to passing. When someone with an obvious male body wears a dress, has horrible make-up, a male gait,  ect, ect. and expects to get treated like a normal women, get free drinks at lady's night, uses the women's locker room at the gym; they are going to face some backlash.

This is the reality for many who identify as trans.

Just my opinion....

IN a way, I don't understand it is if you are planning on living as woman.
You will need years of experience in dressing and applying make up so that you wouldn't have any unnecessary mistakes will doing the real life test(where you could be read) which could get you into some major trouble in some areas of this country. As well as doing things like walking, sitting and many others which you should be doing automatically. Then you wouldn't have to say oops I didn't do this or that.

It would be like having SRS suddenly and never dressing. as you will not know what to do in special occasions.

Of course this will mean nothing if you are not planning at a later date to live as a woman.

i will try my best to explain how my own gender issues are at the moment. i had it explained that there are many forms of gender identity as we know its a broad spectrum. my problem was identified as a body dysphoria as i dont at the moment have an urge to wear dresses although i like fem jeans ect.i was advized not to force it as my femanine side will evolve by itself. i have worked for women that would make you look twice to get there gender. society wants use to appear within certain peramiters but there are always ones like me that are at a far end of the spectrum. to me whats more important is being yourself. yes i want to look fem but maybe not as people expect. id be happy with people regarding me as a trans man who took a few steps backwards, as long as i can have my body put right the rest will fall into place. it seems a lot of trans people try to rush the procces and miss finding out who they are.i wouldnt worry if the desire to dress fem isnt there, wait you may find it comes along by its self

I would like to be able to pass as either female or male (as desired) without being questioned as though I did not belong to the desired group.

it has to be each persons individual choice but unfortunatly theres a lot of pressure from socity to conform. it would be interesting to see how girls started and how they are now after transition and a few years as fem. im sure my ideas will change as i get more used to it, i feel a freedom i have never experienced before.in truth im not sure what i like but im working on it.

Skirts (particularly long hippie skirts.. oh how I love them ), I'll wear around the house.  Because i currently have a stocky-muscular build, most other stuff feels off kilter. Back when i was married, i'd wear my wife's skirts and bras when she was at work. But if i saw my face/beard i'd freak out a bit and instantly take them all off. Some one else mentioned purging, i did that as well. Periodically i'd get somethings on the sly at a thrift store, and usually when i had 2 maybe 3 outfits worth i'd have minor freakout  and get rid of it all.   More recently i'l had the urge to wear fem clothes, but it still feels sort of like i'm tossing a tarp over a mattress rather than sheets and covers... if that makes any sense.

I relate to this feeling a bit as well. I too would love to just be perceived as female no matter how "unfeminine" my clothing choices are.. however I do enjoy dressing up and as my gender, and I'm planning a (my first) RLE day soon, where I will be wearing female attire.

Quote from: ASoulBird on September 22, 2014, 04:46:31 AM
I relate to this feeling a bit as well. I too would love to just be perceived as female no matter how "unfeminine" my clothing choices are.. however I do enjoy dressing up and as my gender, and I'm planning a (my first) RLE day soon, where I will be wearing female attire.

I hope that everything goes well for you. Let us know.