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Hate and ignorence of some

Started by Larisa, August 30, 2014, 07:14:09 PM

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Larisa

I hate when these people say if your born your born with boy parts, your a boy no matter what going as far as to say were evil, a sin, brainwashed, disgusting, abused and than threaten us and they get worse. Not everyone is like that but I see others are. I dont tend to call them something as homophobic as I think that's an overused word. What I do think is they just dont understand and disturbed by what they are unable to understand. They know what they are. I have never understood if I was a boy or girl an if these ignorent people had to be confused, they would change what they say. Ive always known I related and thought more like a girl than a boy. Not by choice. I didnt wake up one day to say I want to be confused. Nobody likes that kinda confusion. Most days, I wish I had been born a girl. My brain thinks that way. I will support trans people till Im dead. I work with 2 people who are gay. Im always nice to them and treat them like anyone else. I had a gay cousin as well.

I took my time as until 2 or 3 years ago, I didnt realize I was trans, I just always kinda liked and related to girls and their interests more. I also took my time to get to know trans people figuring out things.

1. Im trans and have others who feel just like me and Im not alone nor a sin or such.

2. I found out there are some really cool people like jazz that girl whos trans that Im like, you are really an awsome and have alot to offer this world. I took the time to get to know trans people and discovered Im like them in many ways and they are NOT what some think.

Im usually conservative but on trans issues, I get tired of the ignorant stuff some conservatives say about transgender people. It's fine to not understand so ask questions, dont attack me. My dad and mom always had the attitude and were conservative like me but believed and taught me to not attack trans people, gay people or anyone else. To treat people with respect and I come from a VERY conservative background and my parents would have accepted me if I told them I was a girl. Ive been lucky. My parents have seen me do girly things and relate more to girls than guys and still accepted me. My dad passed away a year ago and always would accept me no matter what just as my mom still does.
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Ms Grace

Yes, there are ignorant people out there. The worst ones are the ones who deliberately choose to be that way versus those who are too indifferent to be bothered uncovering the truth and reality. The more of those you can educate the less traction the others have.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Christy

I agree that ignorance is hard to put up with. A few years ago I had a roommate who had no idea that I'm trans. He worked nights so every afternoon before work he would put on Jerry Springer and I would listen to "She's a man!" "Say what? You're a what???!!!!" and it got pretty bad from there. Springer makes his living off the ignorance of his audience.

There are people that simply don't understand though and I give them some leeway. For instance if they called me a ->-bleeped-<- but had no idea that was a derogatory term I would let it slide. So you have people who simply have never met a transgender person and so don't understand Vs. the Jerry Springer audience member who chooses not to educate themselves on the matter.
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big kim

Sadly ignorance is something many lowlifes aspire to be and are proud of it.
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Mark3

I think most of the CIS community can't relate to trans people correctly because they have no idea what its like to be confused about they're gender.. I see it a lot.. Most people wake up in the morning and never give they're gender a single thought, it doesn't even pop into they're brains..? They have difficulty understanding what its like, from never experiencing it themselves..? That's why some think its a choice, because for them to dress as a different gender would have to be a choice... Then on top of that, most will not take time to educate themselves, but just believe things they've heard, false or not..

Please dont let them bother you if possible, they just don't understand...
"The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond life and death."
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suzifrommd

I wonder when it happened that conservative started to imply intolerant of LGBT.

To me, conservative always meant supporting personal freedom, especially from government interference. Doesn't deciding that certain lifestyles deserve societal censure go directly against this?
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Mark3

Yes, I agree, things used to seem much more like that..
The whole world feels upside down to me sometimes..
"The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond life and death."
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Larisa

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 31, 2014, 08:25:35 AM
I wonder when it happened that conservative started to imply intolerant of LGBT.

To me, conservative always meant supporting personal freedom, especially from government interference. Doesn't deciding that certain lifestyles deserve societal censure go directly against this?

lol!! You would think but I guess not all conservatives are that way. My dad used to tell me Im to worried about what everyone else is doing. I think that type of stuff from my both parents got me thinking more like a conservative libertarian.

Im not asking for those who dont understand transgenders to pay for anothers hrt, surgeries or such through taxes for example. Im asking only like my parents taught me is to be respectful and treat people right. If people dont understand, dont belittle me like Im say charles manson. Ask me questions. Get to know me. I think that is the one thing that does disappoint me about some conservatives. Your afraid so you bully me. If you are confused, just dont talk to me if you can't be nice. Nobody said you had to understand.

Im not saying all conservatives are this way as soo many are accepting and respectful but many arent as well. The respect and just being nice would go a long way.
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Shantel

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 31, 2014, 08:25:35 AM
I wonder when it happened that conservative started to imply intolerant of LGBT.

I think it emanates back to the time the so-called religious right along with the Jerry Fallwell brand of "Christianity" invaded the Republican side of the aisle bringing with them the un-Christian (us and them, saved and unsaved) attitude into the party that Christ Himself would have never approved of. Between them and the Neo-Cons the party was ruined.

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 31, 2014, 08:25:35 AM
To me, conservative always meant supporting personal freedom, especially from government interference. Doesn't deciding that certain lifestyles deserve societal censure go directly against this?

I am conservative and have always felt the same, guess I should be hating myself for being trans!  :D

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Larisa

Quote from: Mark3 on August 31, 2014, 04:17:14 AM
I think most of the CIS community can't relate to trans people correctly because they have no idea what its like to be confused about they're gender.. I see it a lot.. Most people wake up in the morning and never give they're gender a single thought, it doesn't even pop into they're brains..? They have difficulty understanding what its like, from never experiencing it themselves..? That's why some think its a choice, because for them to dress as a different gender would have to be a choice... Then on top of that, most will not take time to educate themselves, but just believe things they've heard, false or not..

Please dont let them bother you if possible, they just don't understand...

Some of them will sit around calling people having surgeries as mutilation to their bodies. No evisceration is mutilation, not somebody wanting to look how they feel inside. They just dont get it. I have a friend who doesnt know Im trans. He however does have another friend who is trans. My friend told me he doesnt get the point of sex surgery as he told me it seems as it's just a way to say Ive got something to look at like a tattoo to show off. It has nothing to do with that at all. It has to do with feeling like who you are inside and outside. My friend doesnt mean to sound disrespectful but many do.



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Larisa

Quote from: Mark3 on August 31, 2014, 04:17:14 AM
I think most of the CIS community can't relate to trans people correctly because they have no idea what its like to be confused about they're gender.. I see it a lot.. Most people wake up in the morning and never give they're gender a single thought, it doesn't even pop into they're brains..? They have difficulty understanding what its like, from never experiencing it themselves..? That's why some think its a choice, because for them to dress as a different gender would have to be a choice... Then on top of that, most will not take time to educate themselves, but just believe things they've heard, false or not..

Please dont let them bother you if possible, they just don't understand...

and it's very much a struggle knowing if Im a girl or a boy. People get up ya and they dont think about it like ya said. They just go on about their own day. Id give anything to be a girl physically. I dont want to look like say hilary duff because Im a perv, it's because that is who I am. Im a girl.
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Mark3

Quote from: Larisa1983 on August 31, 2014, 12:04:32 PM
and it's very much a struggle knowing if Im a girl or a boy. People get up ya and they dont think about it like ya said. They just go on about their own day. Id give anything to be a girl physically. I dont want to look like say hilary duff because Im a perv, it's because that is who I am. Im a girl.

*Sighs* I know... :( 
So much of societies beliefs are based in perceived physical appearance, and some are so brainwashed by it that no matter how well, simple, easy to understand we explain it, some will always say "I don't get it?"...

That's the whole root of the " bathroom issue" to.. Nobody is ever going to check a person for gender, its about perceived physical appearance..
If you pass as just one of the girls, no problems.. If you look the least bit out of place, you're making everyone else uncomfortable, and aren't accepted..
"The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond life and death."
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Mark3

Quote from: Larisa1983 on August 31, 2014, 11:25:54 AM
Some of them will sit around calling people having surgeries as mutilation to their bodies. No evisceration is mutilation, not somebody wanting to look how they feel inside. They just dont get it. I have a friend who doesnt know Im trans. He however does have another friend who is trans. My friend told me he doesnt get the point of sex surgery as he told me it seems as it's just a way to say Ive got something to look at like a tattoo to show off. It has nothing to do with that at all. It has to do with feeling like who you are inside and outside. My friend doesnt mean to sound disrespectful but many do.

I'm sorry they can't understand how you feel.. I know how important surgery is, truly its a matter of life and death for some..

Maybe the media will do some good documentries explaining SRS and treatments, instead of "living as Jazz" shows.? It seems like it takes something like that to get people to think..?
"The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond life and death."
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OlderTG

Hate and ignorance are two of our worst enemies, but no one here has touched on fear as an important aspect of this. In general, people have a difficult time with things that are different. Somehow to many people, if you are 'different' you are not 'normal' and if you are not normal, you're someone to be feared.

A different skin color? You are feared. Isn't racism to a great extent based on fear? When slaves were slaves, they 'simply' had to be thought of as less than human. Was that 'ignorance' or justification - perhaps both. When they were freed, they began to be feared. The Vote for women? Oh no! They wouldn't know who to vote for! It isn't 'right'! ...Fear that the power of the male would be eroded. Waves of immigrants into the US... fear that these new people would take over neighborhoods, jobs, etc; fear based on differences.

Someone has mentioned the religious right and the more 'conservative' religions, I think, do play a part. For the most part these churches are ruled by strict dogma, whether formal or just built into the church belief system. To an extent, these kinds of churches play a positive role for some people whose lives have fallen apart through drugs, alcohol or other factors. These churches provide a simple structure and a simple belief system; believe xyz and you will be 'saved'. And for many, that does in fact 'save' them in many important ways. But then that simple belief system rules out so much. Further, those church members almost have to stop thinking and simply believe what their religious leaders tell them. In many cases, the cover may even be such things as "love your neighbor"...as long as they are JUST like you or "love the person, hate the sin" ...but if that person doesn't jump to become a clone, there are some pretty negative ways of 'loving'!

Our politics to one extent or another are based on fear, we've got to build our military because we fear the "enemy"; we've got to have a War on Drugs because we fear crime; we've got to legislate school curriculum because we fear people who we think might take our own personal religious beliefs and reject them; we fear gay marriage because we're led to believe it will erode heterosexual marriages. On and on. I'm rambling and just on a rant. Sorry.

Perhaps a good point for us to remember is that as much as many of us live in fear of a LOT of things both real and imagined, those around us fear. I'm horribly afraid of telling my wife that I'm trans. That in itself is a bit of 'ignorance' of how she'll really react. When I do finally tell her, she's going to be upset and afraid of what it will do to our lives - that's a level of ignorance. My HOPE is that we can talk. And talk. And talk some more, dispelling some of the ignorance of how we feel, what this might mean for us individually and as a couple. This is small scale, but an important starting place.
It seems things start from ignorance, lead to fear which ultimately leads to hate. To the extent we can break through ignorance, we can decrease fear, and hopefully avoid fear.

We know this is not going to be over anytime soon. We don't seem to be doing too well with racial relations, politics, or social justice. Even our commercial advertising hinges on presenting an image rather than real information - ignorance.

And while I contend that we can fight ignorance, fear and hate by spreading first hand knowledge, this is kind of a negative rant... perhaps based on the 'fear' that things won't change...
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Shantel

Quote from: OlderTG on September 03, 2014, 07:40:09 AM

We know this is not going to be over anytime soon. We don't seem to be doing too well with racial relations, politics, or social justice. Even our commercial advertising hinges on presenting an image rather than real information - ignorance.

And while I contend that we can fight ignorance, fear and hate by spreading first hand knowledge, this is kind of a negative rant... perhaps based on the 'fear' that things won't change...

From one older TG to another, your points are valid and you're right it isn't going to change until humanity itself morphs into another form devoid of ignorance and fear. Meanwhile I use fear to my advantage.

This happened not long ago when my spouse and I were enjoying a nice lunch out at a popular outdoor restaurant and is an extremely rare occurrence in my life. There were several people, male and female at an adjacent table laughing which was not bothersome in the least until it dawned on me that I was the brunt of their joke. My spouse's back was to them but I had taken it all in and was finally tiring of it and began to pretend that I was cleaning my nails with the point of my pocket knife. I quietly leaned over and asked one of the men to share the joke with me as my own sense of humor was forever lost having killed all those poor bastards in SE Asia whose names I didn't even know. The laughter stopped immediately and no one at that table even looked my way again. We finished our lunch in peace, it was an enjoyable afternoon.
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Dee Marshall



Quote from: Shantel on September 03, 2014, 09:45:02 AM
From one older TG to another, your points are valid and you're right it isn't going to change until humanity itself morphs into another form devoid of ignorance and fear. Meanwhile I use fear to my advantage.

...I quietly leaned over and asked one of the men to share the joke with me as my own sense of humor was forever lost having killed all those poor bastards in SE Asia whose names I didn't even know....

Naughty girl! ;D

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Shantel

Quote from: Dee Walker on September 03, 2014, 11:22:07 AM

Naughty girl! ;D

They probably think I'm some kind of lunatic but it works, suddenly I'm no longer an object of their derision and not so funny anymore.  :icon_ballbounce:
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Miss_Bungle1991

Quote from: Shantel on September 03, 2014, 11:26:51 AM
They probably think I'm some kind of lunatic but it works, suddenly I'm no longer an object of their derision and not so funny anymore.  :icon_ballbounce:

Hey, whatever works.
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Taka

Quote from: Shantel on September 03, 2014, 11:26:51 AM
They probably think I'm some kind of lunatic but it works, suddenly I'm no longer an object of their derision and not so funny anymore.  :icon_ballbounce:
you kind of also told them your birth/official gender, if that was a part of the confusion which resulted in bad jokes.
but you're right, lunatic isn't the type of person you joke about. i've seen guys go really quiet when certain girls started playing with knives.
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Shantel

You never know who might be a Lorena Bobbit wannabe.  ;D
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