Quote from: Allyda on August 30, 2014, 04:48:10 PM
Last night something happened I never thought could. Someone whom I sincerely trusted and called a friend told me of a secret she was keeping from me that broke my heart and filled me with a sadness I haven't felt in a long time. This is a girl I've helped through many emotional crisis, a friend who I never thought would betray me. Oh how I was so so wrong. This just goes to show that my newfound happiness has left me too trusting and vunerable to emotional hurt and pain. Something I'll have to work to change in the future.

My friend, who hurt me still wants to remain friends. I do believe she sincerely is sorry for keeping this secret as long as she did. But I dunno if I want to take the chance on getting hurt like this again in the future. I've been wrestling with how to handle this since last night. Part of me doesn't want to lose a friendship that has been building for months now, but another part of me wants to protect myself from future hurt. The girl in question has been going through her own problems so I must consider this may have just been a grievous error in judgment on her part. I hope I make the right decision. The only thing I can say for sure is that I never wanna get hurt like this again if it can be helped.

Ali

Ally. Sorry for the betrayal your girl friend.

I also sometimes betray a person. Many people think that I am very reliable and dependable person, but actually I am not. They expect too much from me. When I advise a man, he usually thinks I betray him, but actually I do not.

If anybody suddenly tries to avoid me, then I do not care.

barbie~~

Quote from: FrancisAnn on August 30, 2014, 05:26:14 PM
Hang in there GF. Hope life gets better.

Thank you Francis

Hugs

Quote from: FrancisAnn on August 30, 2014, 02:28:50 PM
Thank you all. I've just not improved my life & my body to an acceptable level. Sometimes when I get depressed about it all I eat too much. So it's my fault. To me I should have completed my entire life change long ago, living full time as myself, GRS, enjoying a new life, dating & or in love with a nice man........., maybe even married to a nice man.  So anyway I'm just dissappointed in what I have done. I cannot go back & can only forward so I'll try better. Thank you all so much for caring & responding. I'm so lucky to be a member of Susan's Place.

Yes. I can not have all of them. I am satisfied with what I have now.

barbie~~

Depressed, unhappy and struggling...

Quote from: Jenny07 on August 30, 2014, 09:32:37 PM
Depressed, unhappy and struggling...

Sorry to hear that, Jen. Life can just be like that 

Feel free to PM if you wish. Can also catch up during the working day/week for coffee or whatever if that helps.

Hugs!


Ros

I'm unhappy because I'm not finding anyone who wants to go diving on Monday.

Robyn

Quote from: FrancisAnn on August 30, 2014, 01:08:20 PM
I'm just disgusted with my "male" body. No curves, too big a stomach & my back is so big. I went shopping today & found some so nice dresses but you know they do not fit. Disgusted with my shape.....................so damn ugly. I wore a size 14 early in life but now all that fits are monster size 16 then some of them are tight in the breast area. Yuck, Yuick, Yuck.

We've all got our size problems. I'm either a 2 or 4, but everything is too short on me.
Women's clothes sizes weren't meant to fit. Anyone.

I gave my blanket to a crying woman, got it back and she had peed herself in it.

I have a friend who is waaaayyy too curious about my physical situation. As in, she wants to actually see me without clothes on. I...yeah no lol.

Quote from: birkin on August 31, 2014, 09:08:53 AM
I gave my blanket to a crying woman, got it back and she had peed herself in it.

Some people have to endure all the fun stuff life throws at them! 

Quote from: birkin on August 31, 2014, 09:08:53 AM
I have a friend who is waaaayyy too curious about my physical situation. As in, she wants to actually see me without clothes on. I...yeah no lol.

Uh - yeah I've had a few "friends" like that, they went to acquaintance status rather quickly....bleep!

Quote from: FrancisAnn on August 30, 2014, 01:08:20 PM
I'm just disgusted with my "male" body. No curves, too big a stomach & my back is so big. I went shopping today & found some so nice dresses but you know they do not fit. Disgusted with my shape.....................so damn ugly. I wore a size 14 early in life but now all that fits are monster size 16 then some of them are tight in the breast area. Yuck, Yuick, Yuck.

Don't beat up on yourself Francis none of us have perfect teenage bodies anymore, we just learn to dress around the problem areas like cis women do.

Being me. Pretending I'm pk.

It was yesterday, I can never face posting this stuff on the day.

My first endo appointment is Tuesday. I was driving Sweety to work as I tend to do when I'm off.

Sweety: You understand why we can't move south yet, right.

Me: Well I have two reasons. I'm just starting with the new doctor and shouldn't switch for a while, and... you said we would separate if the HRT has too much of a visible effect.

Sweety (pleased): Those were mine too. I'm glad we're on the same page.

Previously she told me that she can't bear to be perceived as a lesbian. How can HRT NOT have a physical effect eventually, even at low dose? I am so screwed!

I cried all the way home.

Quote from: Shantel on August 31, 2014, 09:22:45 AM
Some people have to endure all the fun stuff life throws at them! 

Uh - yeah I've had a few "friends" like that, they went to acquaintance status rather quickly....bleep!

Yeah lol I don't know. She's cool and all but it weirds me out and I sort of regret telling her.

Quote from: birkin on August 31, 2014, 10:05:09 AM
Yeah lol I don't know. She's cool and all but it weirds me out and I sort of regret telling her.

My SO claims that when we're out in public all the nut cases are drawn to me like flies on a turd. You may be experiencing a little of that attraction from the woman.

Quote from: Shantel on August 31, 2014, 10:24:37 AM
My SO claims that when we're out in public all the nut cases are drawn to me like flies on a turd. You may be experiencing a little of that attraction from the woman.

Hehe, well Ive had this before I started transitioning aswell..and not necessarily in a 'creepy' way but often elderly/unstable people felt compelled to strike up a conversation with me, I guess its the way I express myself I guess

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on August 27, 2014, 05:21:58 PM


Ouch.

Yeah, larger shoe sizes are annoying. I remember when I switched to women's sneakers. I was stuck with looking for 11's. It was really annoying. I am down to 9's now. But my main problem is that it seems that the "80's style" of sneakers are coming back. So, all of the women's sneakers are like, these hideous neon colors and black.  If I were an 11 year old girl in 1988, it would be fine. But, I'm not so I have to search for sneakers with decent color schemes. I don't bother with dressy shoes since I just wear tops and jeans.

Converse. All shoes labeled for men and women, American and European labeling. I'm currently wearing lowtops, creamsicle orange, size 11 women's. They have larger.

Quote from: Liam Erik on August 31, 2014, 10:41:02 AM
My garden, in which I carefully planted tomatoes, 3 kinds of peppers, beans, strawberries, peanuts, potatoes, onions, peas, cabbage, broccoli, spinach, and lettuce, is 80% weeds and my vegetables are all rotting on the stem.  I went over a solid month without a single minute to work in it or pick anything, and now I want to mow the whole thing off and forget about it.

I'm not doing very well.  I sleep all day because I can't bear to do anything.  I don't feel like anything I do matters in the least.  Everything that happens now, I've already been through enough times that I can't believe it's either important, or going to make anything better.

Liam,
    Hang in there friend, don't let depression pull you down, get up and get moving! I grow tomatoes and bell peppers here, for the previous four years our efforts were rained out or destroyed by aphids. This year we had a real summer in the PNW and so far I have canned two dozen quarts of tomatoes and it looks as if we will be enjoying stuffed green peppers soon. We never let up or got discouraged on the planting and replanting. Never let up, never give up Liam, you hear me fella, get up and get it in gear, you can do it.

Two words: morning wood.

I mean, how the hell is this even still possible?  I HAVE NO FREAKING BALLS.  I ditched them 7 weeks ago.  UGH!

Quote from: Jill F on August 31, 2014, 12:17:59 PM
Two words: morning wood.

I mean, how the hell is this even still possible?  I HAVE NO FREAKING BALLS.  I ditched them 7 weeks ago.  UGH!

Get over it, I ditched mine in 2001 and still experience the same thing and I'm freaking 71 so wtf huh?

Quote from: Shantel on August 31, 2014, 12:19:44 PM
Get over it, I ditched mine in 2001 and still experience the same thing and I'm freaking 71 so wtf huh?

"Hello, Dr. Bowers?  Can you finish the job?"

Yeah, this isn't going to work long term.  I needed that thing put out to pasture ages ago.