The other day at lunch I went to this little country restaurant. I was on lunch break and so not in female mode. I have eaten there many times over the past year with no problems. However one of the waitresses in the place lives near me and so was there to see me come out of the closet...

I walked up to the counter and the girl there looks up and says "can I *snicker* help *snicker* you?" I had no idea what was so funny until the woman who lives near me comes up from behind me and she's looking at this girl and snickering too. Then the cook looks up and starts in as well. Now I used my male name to place the to go order over the phone and so the girl at the counter starts getting "funny." "Here's your order, Chris" "Is that debit, Chris?" "Come back and see us, Chris" No thanks, I think I'm finished with that place.

I have this fantasy that there exists a ray gun which will for two weeks turn anyone transgender. I would so like to use that ray gun on people like that. Maybe at the end of the two weeks they would have a better understanding. Transgender people are not jokes. We do not exist for the entertainment of others. I didn't choose to be trans anymore than the girl behind the counter chose to be straight. You don't choose trans, trans chooses you.

The really sad thing is that our ancestors understood better than most people today do. There were transgender priestesses in ancient Greece. Transgender people also played a spiritual role in India and in some Native American tribes. That's right, people who lived thousands of years before the electric light bulb was invented were less ignorant than the girl behind the register with a smart phone strapped to her hip. Maybe she should use that phone to Google "Transgender" *sigh* I'll stop ranting now.

Don't know about "small town" but they certainly were small minded. Not giving them your custom and ignoring them, and maybe dropping word about their lousy service to all that will listen is probably the best thing you can give them in return.

I live in a small town too and I can't imagine what it will be like if I come out and start to transition. There are so many people who know who you are but don't 'know' you well enough to understand or appreciate what we're all about.

Your experience was awful, but I can imagine that happening just about anywhere in a small town. You shouldn't have to worry about this sort of thing, but...

Don't go back to that place, they are close minded and they do not respect people for who they are. It sounds like an awful experience to have but they are not your friends and you don't really need them, or their food.

Try not to think too much about it, you know who you really are and feel happy for it.

I do not know where you live but i would make a complaint to the owners.

I also would make sure you tell them you will not patronize there place of business anymore and tell all your friends and family how you were treated.

Anyway its time to start hand smacking ignorance.

We been silent way to long.

If you think you have a case you can always contract Lambda Legal if you live in the US.

www.lambdalegal.org/

Look at it this way: your visit there was probably the most exciting thing to happen to them all week. They probably spent the whole rest of the day giggling to each other about it. And then they went home and remembered how boring their lives really are. It's sad when you think about it.

Bullying says a lot more about the people doing the bullying than it does about the victims. Most people are happy to mind their own business, especially when money is involved. What's so wrong with their lives that they find it so entertaining to belittle you?

I think you should tell your allies about this incident. You may find out that you have more friends than you think. A lot of people may not understand you, but they believe in showing common decency, and your waitress neighbor was anything but decent towards you. She may regret her actions after enough people find out what she did.