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Started by Alexi, July 24, 2014, 02:38:42 PM

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Satinjoy

Hey there my friend

The anxiety attack will pass, we are here for you

I had one too.   Yesterday.  It happens.

Stay on the forum... lean on us... we'll be here....we are here.....
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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Satinjoy

I have to get off the forum at the moment I am at work.  My pm's still get to me, I may not be much help, but pm me, Ativan - they have more experience, lots more, Mrs Izzy... I have done the overnight thing before on anxiety attacks where the forum carried me if I couldn't do it myself.  I need the forum too....

I can't do it either Alexi, but I am still here....that's why we all need each other so much

Warmest hugs right now to you....
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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luna nyan

Quote from: Alexi on August 28, 2014, 11:39:17 PM
I can't do it. I really can't do it. I hope I didn't worry anybody, I had an anxiety attack because of a trigger.
That's ok.  If you're not ready, you're not.
Remember though, often things seem far more difficult than they actually are.  But getting to the point of trying and doing - that can be paralysing.  We've all been there.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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ativan

I've been taking more ativan (lol, Lorazepam) than usual, but my personal life has warranted it.
Depression can and does trigger anxiety attacks that don't seem to have a reason behind them...
Breath, breath, breath...
Slow deep breathes, long and slow.
Best thing to bring it down to a level that's workable.
Ativan
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Alexi

I'm in so much pain that I feel paralyzed. I have nowhere to go and nobody to ask for help. I'm silently screaming and I know nobody is going to help. I don't know what to write any more.
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Satinjoy

Just staying in touch with us is good enough dear.  Doesn't matter what you write.  Just matters that you know we collectively are here for you, and we can see when you are here.

I will be off forum for the weekend, I always am, but the others stay on the forums.

But I will be thinking of you while I am off.

One or many of us will be here on the forum.  You are not alone.  There are others that understand better too.

I scream inside too sometimes.  I just don't show it.

I am sorry you feel bad.

But we are here.  We care, and we are here.  And you are here too.
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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Alexi

I'm in floods of tears and alone. I should be at ER but I know nobody could help. It only seems to help if you're actually dying, or have broken a bone or something physically serious.
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ativan

Does the hospital you would go to the ER at, have a psyche unit, or any kind of psychiatric care available?
Some hospitals aren't equipped for this, they aren't always available.
Are you in the country or a small town?
You might have to travel to a larger hospital, most cities do have psyche care available.
I know in my area, if I go to the hospital that is under my insurance, they have zero, zip, none, nope, no psyche care there.
If I go in in the other direction, I go to a small city that does have a psyche unit and follow up care.
It really would help me to know where you are, there might be possible places and people I can contact to help you...
PM me with this if you want, no need to post it on the board.
I know it's hard to trust something like this to a stranger, but I'm no stranger to what you're going through.
Check out if there is a hospital close enough that they have psyche care available.
Also look by doing a google search to see if there are any trans support groups in your area.
They could be very helpful.
I don't know what else to tell you right now, but if you feel like you might need professional help, then you do.
Ativan
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ativan

SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINES

LGBT Specific Resources:
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline
Toll-free 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Monday to Friday, 4 p.m. to midnight (Eastern); Saturday, noon – 5 p.m. (Eastern)
The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline provides telephone and email peer-counseling,
as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States.

The Trevor Project
1-866-488-7386
http://www.thetrevorproject.org
The Trevor Project focuses on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender
and questioning youth.

General Suicide Prevention Hotlines:

National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK
For Hearing and Speech Impaired with TTY Equipment: TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Are you feeling desperate, alone or hopeless? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255),
a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.

Red Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio: 1-888-628-9454
Cuando usted llama al número 1-888-628-9454, su llamada se dirige al centro de ayuda de nuestra red
disponible más cercano. Cuando el centro contesta su llamada, usted estará hablando con una persona que
le escuchará, le hará preguntas y hará todo lo que esté a su alcance para ayudarlo.

1-800-SUICIDE: Kristin Brooks Help Center, 1-800-784-2433
1-800-SUICIDA: Spanish speaking suicide hotline (800) 784-2432, 1-800-SUICIDA
Connects callers with a network of local crisis centers.

Vet2Vet
Veterans peer support line (877) 838-2838, 1-877-Vet2Vet
Veteran peer counselors and certified crisis centers take these specialized calls for law enforcement and veterans specifically.
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mrs izzy

Quote from: Alexi on August 30, 2014, 02:27:31 PM
I'm in floods of tears and alone. I should be at ER but I know nobody could help. It only seems to help if you're actually dying, or have broken a bone or something physically serious.

Not true the ER and Mental health ward help get me out of that darkness. Gave me a safe place to be and have staff and others to talk to.

Depression is a very strong medical condition that needs to be handled by one self or with the help of medical professionals.

Please as i said to you go seek the help.

Please it truly is not the solution to the pain. There is a life after major depression and GD.

Go please you know in your heart i am right and help is just a phone call away.

Love you.
Hugs
Isabell
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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stephaniec

the ER saved my life when I hit bottom
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Satinjoy

Yes alexi go to the psych er.  I did it with my kids it helped them big. Time.  Satinjoy
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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helen2010

Alexi

Please take advice. Please suspend your disbelief. Know that we care.  We are survivors.  We have good lives.  You deserve the same.  Believe.

Safe travels

Aisla
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Arch

Hon, I know that people have varying experiences with hotlines, but the Trevor Project is especially for younger people in the LGBT spectrum. Those people are in OUR community. Many have been where you have been. I urge you to call someone.

I remember a time when it was all I could do to get through the day--and I had to do it a few minutes at a time. It was excruciating to live in fifteen-minute blocks. People who haven't been there simply can't imagine it. Not really.

You already know that we care and that someone is on the site twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. But you need more than the site. Hotlines, support groups, therapists can all give you strength. But even they aren't always enough. If you are drowning, really drowning, please consider going to the ER. The most important thing is that you survive, be safe, be supported.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Alexi

I got some sleep. It's broken sleep, but sleep. It's managed to relieve my anxieties and things don't seem so impossible, and much as I've tried to feel positive, I only tire myself. The Trevor Project is brilliant, and the people I've spoken to really do understand. It's amongst the only times I haven't felt judged, even though at times I feel like a terrible human being. They've understood me, even when I don't understand myself.

I didn't go to ER, not because I couldn't, but it doesn't have the facilities, and every other time I've been told I couldn't get help because they haven't got specialized care.
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Jera

I'm really glad you were able to talk to somebody at Trevor's Project.

If you do end up needing to go to the ER, even if they don't have the right facilities, go anyway. At the very least, they'll be able to connect you with somewhere else that does. If the need is bad enough, they have to help you.

There was time I was lost, without help, and without the means to help myself. Long story short, I was sent by ambulance 40 miles away to a facility that did have the resources to treat me. And though I was seriously worried about not being able to afford it, I never had to pay a dime. There's so many more resources out there for you than you might think.

There is always an option, always somewhere you can turn to get the help you need. Susan's is one place, but you have so much more. Never think you don't have anywhere to go.

I look forward to the day where you can say you are genuinely happy. It will come, if you but let it come. :)
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ativan

I'll take that as a good sign, Alexi.
Even broken sleep is good enough right now.
Don't worry to much about being positive.
I'm happy that you called the people at Trevor.
I get the feelings of being judged, and feelings like being a terrible person as well.
I kinda thought that your local hospital didn't have the right people to help.
Be sure to talk this over with you therapist.
I hope you don't feel anyone here has been judging you,
We really do care about you and want only the best for you as well...
Look into a hospital that does have help, the right people you can go and find help from.
The flood of tears is something that can help, don't worry about that, I still do at times...
Even now they still come sometimes for me as well. I don't like it, but I do accept them as something that happens.
You really do need to look into getting some help around there or elsewhere, find those people who can help.
This kind of depression is one that with the right people, you can beat it.
You deserve to have a better life and that's all we want you to do right now.
We're with you on this, there are some of us who know what it feels like.
We're here for you as well and know how important it is for you to find those people who can help, to be there for you in person.
Please work on finding them for yourself, OK?
I need to get some sleep myself. It's nice to know your working this out now.
Just know we're here for you, not judging you in any way, we really care.
Ativan
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mrs izzy

Quote from: Alexi on August 31, 2014, 04:49:04 AM
I got some sleep. It's broken sleep, but sleep. It's managed to relieve my anxieties and things don't seem so impossible, and much as I've tried to feel positive, I only tire myself. The Trevor Project is brilliant, and the people I've spoken to really do understand. It's amongst the only times I haven't felt judged, even though at times I feel like a terrible human being. They've understood me, even when I don't understand myself.

I didn't go to ER, not because I couldn't, but it doesn't have the facilities, and every other time I've been told I couldn't get help because they haven't got specialized care.

Sounds like you have now come to understand not everyone will judge.

Again we are all here to help and can reach out anytime of the day when you feel like your slipping.

Even though the ER does not have the resources and i think they mean transgender they should have doctors that can help in crisis when depression gets in a major issue. So they are also help in that aspect.

Hugs Alexi.
Izzy
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Satinjoy

My kids have been through this and it was hard for us to see them hurt.  Very hard.  But when we got them to the right place, after the internet search, after finding out who could help, our therapist helped clear the way to put them in a nice place where they had a little time off and got the help they needed.  They stayed as long as they wanted to.  Then, they came back home to us, feeling better, with some very helpful medication.  And we stayed with therapy.

A couple times we went to the ER and they were treated with some meds, felt better after a while, and went home, and then back to their therapists.  So they didn't need more than the visit to help.

Both are clinical anxiety and depression girls.  Both are ok.  It is something they live with, like I live with being an alcoholic.  We learn how to handle it.  It gets better, but it has to be treated by the pro's when its anxiety and depression.  That is so important.

Meanwhile, we are here for you.  I have been sneaking onto the forum because I want to support you, its really hard to do that at home.  No worries, you are worth it to me.

Keep checking in, keep working on getting to the pro's, I am sure Ativan has also been helping, and call that contact line they gave you that helped you.

And know we are here too, like Ativan said, some have the same stuff and really get it, some of us are SO's and we kind of get it, but really get it when it comes to getting help,  and we are here.

Warmest blessings my dear from Satinjoy.

Let us love you up.  Listen to the wisdom of the forum. 

Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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stephaniec

the ER is  the best place when your that down. their job is to help
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