Hi All,

On the weekend I drank a little more wine then usual, not falling down drunk or anything, just enough to give me a hangover the next day.  Anyway, I've noticed over the years, that when I drink a little too much my gender dysphoria is super intense for the next couple of days, not that it isn't pretty bad most days.  I believe alcohol is a bit of a depressant, perhaps that has something to do with it.  I'm really thinking of giving up alcohol altogether

Just curious if this happens to others.
Thanks,
Paige

Hi Paige,
   I spent years looking at the world from the bottom of a bottle.  It was a wretched cycle of despair, drink, die a little more, drink a little more.  I've been sober for a long time, and frankly don't think I could have begun transition while drinking.  For me it was a spiral into a downward maelstrom of dysphoria, self pity, anger, and despair.  Nope, I suggest to anyone who asks, that alcohol, and authenticity make poor bedfellows.

Besides HRT is bad enough on your liver without having detoxification going on.

Peace,
Julie

Quote from: Paige on September 02, 2014, 03:56:13 PM
Hi All,

On the weekend I drank a little more wine then usual, not falling down drunk or anything, just enough to give me a hangover the next day.  Anyway, I've noticed over the years, that when I drink a little too much my gender dysphoria is super intense for the next couple of days, not that it isn't pretty bad most days.  I believe alcohol is a bit of a depressant, perhaps that has something to do with it.  I'm really thinking of giving up alcohol altogether

Just curious if this happens to others.
Thanks,
Paige

It all depends on you. Alcohol can numb the pain. Some people it is a stimulant to a certain amount. To some it just really brings them down even more. Not just GID but any negative moods.

If it makes you feel worst, don't drink. I am a happy and crazy drunk. My blonde really starts showing through after a few. But there is a point that if I cross it makes me feel really bad, depressed and so on. Alcohol is funny because it can go either way. And If it makes you feel worst or more dysphoric, don't drink.

Form the way it sounds form your post, don't drink. See a therapist specializing in gender issues and so on.

Quote from: JulieBlair on September 02, 2014, 04:11:17 PM
Hi Paige,
   I spent years looking at the world from the bottom of a bottle.  It was a wretched cycle of despair, drink, die a little more, drink a little more.  I've been sober for a long time, and frankly don't think I could have begun transition while drinking.  For me it was a spiral into a downward maelstrom of dysphoria, self pity, anger, and despair.  Nope, I suggest to anyone who asks, that alcohol, and authenticity make poor bedfellows.

Besides HRT is bad enough on your liver without having detoxification going on.

Peace,
Julie

Not to make light of such a serious subject but I can't see anything from the bottom of an aluminum can Julie. Shame on me but I couldn't resist and hopefully makes Paige at least smile a little and you too. God, rocker chicks? Bad girls and all.

Quote from: Paige on September 02, 2014, 03:56:13 PM
Hi All,

On the weekend I drank a little more wine then usual, not falling down drunk or anything, just enough to give me a hangover the next day.  Anyway, I've noticed over the years, that when I drink a little too much my gender dysphoria is super intense for the next couple of days, not that it isn't pretty bad most days.  I believe alcohol is a bit of a depressant, perhaps that has something to do with it.  I'm really thinking of giving up alcohol altogether

Just curious if this happens to others.
Thanks,
Paige

Alcohol is a depressant in most people. It's known to make bad moods worse.

I think your idea of laying off the sauce altogether is a good one.

Thanks you all for your responses.

I think I will keep it to one drink every once and a while.  I hardly drink now, but I think you're right, no more multi-drink  evenings for me. 

Quote from: Jess42 on September 02, 2014, 04:15:48 PM
See a therapist specializing in gender issues and so on.

Hi Jess42,
Thanks for the suggestion , I already have a therapist and she thinks I should have transitioned a long time ago.  Unfortunately I can't get away from the guilt that I might screw up my family.  My wife loves me but she has told me she can't be with me through transition.  I just don't know what this would do to my daughters.  Anyway I'm in "no man's land" now, without a real good idea how to get out of it.

Thanks again everyone, you are very helpful as always.
Take care,
Paige  

Quote from: Jess42 on September 02, 2014, 04:19:36 PM
Not to make light of such a serious subject but I can't see anything from the bottom of an aluminum can Julie. Shame on me but I couldn't resist and hopefully makes Paige at least smile a little and you too. God, rocker chicks? Bad girls and all.

As long as you can play a hot riff, all is forgiven.  Gin is in cans now?

j

Quote from: Paige on September 02, 2014, 04:51:40 PM
Thanks you all for your responses.

I think I will keep it to one drink every once and a while.  I hardly drink now, but I think you're right, no more multi-drink  evenings for me. 

Hi Jess42,
Thanks for the suggestion , I already have a therapist and she thinks I should have transitioned a long time ago.  Unfortunately I can't get away from the guilt that I might screw up my family.  My wife loves me but she has told me she can't be with me through transition.  I just don't know what this would do to my daughters.  Anyway I'm in "no man's land" now, without a real good idea how to get out of it.

Thanks again everyone, you are very helpful as always.
Take care,
Paige

Paige, sweety. I really hate to tell you this but even one drink may lead to two and three. If it is something that effects you negatively don't even drink. Sorry hon but that is the best advice I can give you. If you can stop at one then that is fine.

OMG. I couldn't have kids and lost my wife. I love no man's land even though I love men, but.... Sometimes hon we just have to let go. As long as you don't let go of your children. I have always been less of a man and never could have children so you are far ahead of me in that.

Yeah my shrink knew. My therapist knew. What really makes me mad is neither one told me. I had to tell them. But OMG, "It was something you had to face yourself" BS that I got told. Not even a hint.

You do know you have family here Paige? Don't forget it OK?

never happent to me but as already mention alcohol work diffrent on diffrent people.
I know one of my friend get super depressive when he gets drunk, and me on the other hand gets pretty talktive and then I fall asleep.

Quote from: JulieBlair on September 02, 2014, 05:04:03 PM
As long as you can play a hot riff, all is forgiven.  Gin is in cans now?

j

I can't drink gin. It makes me crazy. Or crazier. Look down Julie. "Beer is like mother's milk." from the great Nikki Sixx. God he is so... Well this ain't the sexuality threads so I will shut up now before I get banned from our mean moderators like Jessica. God she is so mean. Threatening to perma ban me and all.

Oh I can play some riffs that are so hot you can't touch them. When I ain't seen too many bottoms of aluminum cans.

I began drinking in my teens due to gender dysphoria. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have touched drugs or drank alcohol. I wasn't a social drinker. I would drink only to get completely trashed. I could be a happy drunk, or a I could be a violent drunk. I never knew which way it went until I started drinking. Stopped drinking around age 26. Picked it up again a few years ago, but I would drink far less 99.9% of the time. I also drank very sporadically. Gave it up for good once I began to take anti anxiety meds and an anti-depressant. Those don't like being mixed with alcohol at all.

Like a good girl I drink mostly wine and frozen drinks but it never really depresses me. I never drank because of my dysphoria either. Alcohol just puts me to sleep. When I was with wife #1 I drank a lot due to bedroom issues... and her brother encouraged me to. She was a heavy drinker and routinely passed out too, as did I.

The truth is alcohol does nothing good for anyone's emotional or mental well being.. Its a drug, its basically poisonous to your body, and slowly destroys it..
I'm an ex alcoholic, I only say "ex" because its not hard for me to quit as of a year and 1/2 ago, as my liver is basically gone, and a drink now is pretty much death.. Its a great incentive though.!
I've known so many people who have damaged themselves from drinking, it's just incredible...
I sincerely hope you'll never be one of us..!

I never found anything good at the bottom of a beer can and it's not from a lack of trying. If you can quit altogether or if you can keep it at 1 or two a day then do that. Binge drinking because you are trying to escape things only results in problems; and if you are on the pill form of HRT drinking puts a lot of stress on your liver.

16 years alcohol free. 16 years drug free. 7 years smoke free. 1 day caffeine free ( I cut out coffee then I had cut down to 1 diet soda a day and some days none, Sunday and Monday I had a soda each day).

I never drank for taste and started drinking in 7th grade. We had unlimited access to $4.00/ case 16 ounce beer from Schmidts brewery in Philadelphia, or more correctly a worker at the brewery. It was the changeover beer of various names.

My dysphoria was kept at bay by passing out.

My father and relatives were alcoholics and I was taught to drink. I was told to drink but never get drunk, lol. I had vodka in my bedroom and could get a house beer or two at will. So as long as I could stand I was ok. Oh, drinking and driving was ok too.

Hi All,

In my teens and early 20s I used alcohol and other substances as a method to dull my dysphoria, but I eventually realized it just made everything that much worse the next few days.  I made a lot of stupid mistakes the days after benders because I was so depressed about my situation.  I eventually learned drinking to excess didn't help me one bit.

Today I may have a beer or a glass a wine once or twice a week.  I'm 52 now.   This last weekend was an exception because I was with friends and we were just having a good time.  I probably had 4 or 5 glasses of wine and maybe a beer or two each night.  I wasn't falling down drunk or anything like that, but the next few days my dysphoria really hit home.  It just seems it doesn't take nearly as much to trigger the really bad stuff.

Anyway thank you all for your input and support.  I think I'll try to remember for next time that I should only have 1 or 2 glasses of wine at most on these occasions.

Oh to be on HRT.  Maybe one day.
Take care,
Paige

I'll add another check mark in the "drinking makes you depressed"  column.  I'm very happy now that I've stopped drinking.  Or stopped drinking except once in a while, and the day or two after those once in a while drinks are utterly miserable.  Never hung over, just have a depressed feeling.  Not worth the hour or two of buzz.

So yeah, I'm glad I cut down from drinking almost every evening and all weekend.  Giving up was hard, but absolutely worth the effort.  I'll slip once in a while, but we're talking minor slips these days (three or four bottles of beer) rather than the old kind of slips (two bottles of wine, then on to whatever else I could find in the house).

Quote from: ImagineKate on September 02, 2014, 05:55:43 PM
Like a good girl I drink mostly wine and frozen drinks but it never really depresses me. I never drank because of my dysphoria either. Alcohol just puts me to sleep. When I was with wife #1 I drank a lot due to bedroom issues... and her brother encouraged me to. She was a heavy drinker and routinely passed out too, as did I.

Just one thing and what its worth which is about tow cents only. When and if you drink, drink for a good time. Not to kill the pain because it will be there the next day, sometimes with a vengeance maybe. If you drink and want to drink use it as a social lubrication, or just to catch a buzz and have a good time. If not don't drink at all. The pain may only go away for a short time and when it comes back it will be worst than before and killing the pain is what makes some one and alcoholic. So only for a social lubrication or just for a good time and never get to the point that makes you sick. Moderation is the key. I drink strictly for a good time and I usually am the life of the party and really fun to be around. Or at least people tell me that and they seem to gravitate toward me at those times so it may very well be true.

I'm veeery weird when i drink. Most of the time, I get more luxurious, feel more feminine and really wanna dance! Yeah, dance! Really dance, like crazy! But, damn, when sober i HATE dancing! My guess is that i hate dancing cuz i "cant" dance the way i really want to. And, when i drink, i feel like all those chains vanish, keep lost somewhere for some hours. I feel free!

But, sometimes, in somewhat rare occasions, i get very sad. And most of those time I cant tell why.

I think that alcohol works in very different ways for each person. For me, is like reveal my true self. For other, i dont know.

When I drink, I contemplate coming out to whoever I'm drinking with, but I come back to my senses as soon as I have thoughts like that. I even made an accidental confession that completely went over my drunken friend's head. I'm glad he was pretty smashed.