I think I'll throw my two cents into the mix.

I'm a pansexual MTF, before I started my transition I might have felt female inside but I could not ignore what was on the outside, I had a male body and hence when having sex with a male partner it was clearly gay sex which is very different from hetero sex.

As my transition progresses my body becomes more female and at some point if I were to have sex with a guy it would be hetero sex, sex with girls will become lesbian sex.

People always seem to focus on the partners gender or sex, for me it makes more sense to think about the act and activity, which role you play is another question all together.

It seems to be a pretty common phenomenon. Not one that I personally experienced, but I will say that T changed certain aspects of my sexuality despite my orientation remaining the same. By that I just mean that I became comfortable with things that I never had been before... It was a really big change in how I viewed my own sexuality, and my attitude towards sex in general. I think almost everyone experiences this type of change when starting T, so it makes sense to me that for some, this could include a shift in orientation as well.

I don't relay know what to say. I am Bi and I find myself attracted to guys more than ever before. I still find females attractive and some more than just attractive but would rather have and am more attracted to guys . Now a female or another MTF in a ménages' tois with a guy don't seem to far of reach as what it used to be.

i don't know how transition might change my sexuality in the future, but it has already been acting up, doing weird stuff when i least expect it. none of it unpleasant when i just managed to accept it for what it is.

what edge said about feeling uncomfortable with a woman, makes sense to me. there would probably be very different triggers from person to person, for me the worst was when a guy would insist on focusing on my chest. but i've never been with a woman, mostly because i don't want to be in a lesbian relationship. never. though i love women, so that's not my reason. it's more like taking on a lesbian identity would be a much too big step towards feministic womanhood and other things that i really don't want to be associated with. i'm not enough woman to dare do that. can't even imagine a butch identity just to get some. wouldn't work for me.

so i suppose all i can do is transition, and see if things won't be a little easier after that.

The subject has come up before and I recall several guys saying that they were probably always somewhat bi but that they suppressed their gay side because they felt so much pressure to be a "typical" guy, to be accepted as a guy. It wasn't even a particularly conscious thing. But once they started consistently passing and everyone accepted them as a guy, they were more comfortable acknowledging some gay feelings. It seems to keep coming back to feeling confident and secure. You're no longer feeling like you have to prove anything. I think most gay or bi guys, cis or trans, go through that to some degree. It's all about reaching a place where you realize "It's okay for me to be this. This is a valid and honest expression of me."

Quote from: dalebert on September 01, 2014, 11:19:36 AM
The subject has come up before and I recall several guys saying that they were probably always somewhat bi but that they suppressed their gay side because they felt so much pressure to be a "typical" guy, to be accepted as a guy. It wasn't even a particularly conscious thing. But once they started consistently passing and everyone accepted them as a guy, they were more comfortable acknowledging some gay feelings. It seems to keep coming back to feeling confident and secure. You're no longer feeling like you have to prove anything. I think most gay or bi guys, cis or trans, go through that to some degree. It's all about reaching a place where you realize "It's okay for me to be this. This is a valid and honest expression of me."

Society, in my opinion has cause a lot of that Tabooness between guys. I mean Girls "experiment" and there is nothing at all wrong with that, but if a guy "experiments" then he gets labeled as gay or bi. Even though he may not be but was just curious. I guess girls experimenting is female privilege and one privilege that guys can't experience. To me, this really sux and is really kind of unfair.

Transition *can* change your sexual orientation. But i think generally your sexual orientation *label* will change, but you won't. In my case, I think I am still asexual essentially, but might have gone to "romantic" vs aromantic. I feel that I have some attraction, but it is still fairly limited. That's still a bit of a change. I just say I am questioning right now.

--Jay

Sexuality is a very confusing and fluid thing for me.  One day, I swear I'm a straight man that will make exceptions for other FTMs because of the fact that we can relate to each other, and I can't stand to think of penetrative sex done to myself, or dating guys because of their sexual organs, but then, I meet a cisguy, and I start feeling attracted to them.  It's always more physically than emotionally.  I always get way more into a relationship emotionally with a girl.  I usually don't cry if I break up with a guy after a rather long-term thing, but I will with girls, etc.  If I see a cute girl, I'm way more shy and awkward with them than with my fellow bros.  Stuff like that.  I always decide on being a "straight" man, then a guy comes along and makes me question myself.  I do notice, though, that I've slowly transitioned away from wanting a boyfriend, to wanting a girlfriend.  I've gone from a bisexual "female", to a "lesbian," to a bisexual male, to a "straight" male.  It feels like every day I start to distance myself further from liking men, but then, like I said, I see a cute guy, and I question myself.  I think that I'm just at an age where I'm still trying to figure myself out, especially being pre-everything medical.

Quote from: Jess42 on September 01, 2014, 01:23:56 PM
Society, in my opinion has cause a lot of that Tabooness between guys. I mean Girls "experiment" and there is nothing at all wrong with that, but if a guy "experiments" then he gets labeled as gay or bi. Even though he may not be but was just curious. I guess girls experimenting is female privilege and one privilege that guys can't experience. To me, this really sux and is really kind of unfair.

female privilege?
but then you get to all the guys who insist they can manage to f any lesbian straight.
because all that girls do with each other is only seen as experimenting. and nothing more. they're all expected to end up straight, marrying some guy, bearing children, and all that.
guys at least are taken seriously when they say they are gay. it's seen as proof, that they can have sexual relations with another guy.
girls don't get that privilege.

there's also the case of asia, where in some places it's more accepted that guys play around with each other a little. girls doing the same would just be... really inappropriate. and totally weird.

Quote from: Taka on September 02, 2014, 02:35:54 PM
female privilege?
but then you get to all the guys who insist they can manage to f any lesbian straight.
because all that girls do with each other is only seen as experimenting. and nothing more. they're all expected to end up straight, marrying some guy, bearing children, and all that.
guys at least are taken seriously when they say they are gay. it's seen as proof, that they can have sexual relations with another guy.
girls don't get that privilege.

there's also the case of asia, where in some places it's more accepted that guys play around with each other a little. girls doing the same would just be... really inappropriate. and totally weird.

You know what Taka, your right. Lipstick lesbians are assumed the way you say. And yeah even trans I am definitely the lipstick type, but also the butch type is freakin' awesome too. I'm lipstick bi so.... Where do I fit in?

But girls experimenting is not as near taboo as guys "experimenting". I know I was labeled gay and no I am bi. I am a bisexual woman but when people perceived me especially when I first got home from the Army with short hair, yuck, and so on. I was gay, no matter what. No choice in the matter whether bi or not. To me it is female privilege that we can get to experiment, even transwomen without negative consequences when guys can't. Even if guys assume things. And we all know what assume means. And believe me even my best friend for the longest time assumed because of his wife. Maybe she was right or somewhat anyway. But let me tell you, she was jealous of me and he in no way was my type. Funny how messed up life is sometimes.

But hon, I really don't care too much. Gay, bi, trans, or maybe a little crazy. Words and labels have never hurt me. I think I have been called every negative thing in the book. None of those names ever made me bleed. Never even made me ashamed. if anything it was controversial which was good for me and four or five others. The more controversy, the more attention and the more publicity. Even negative publicity is better than nothing. I am definitely who I am and either people can accept me or can go to the hot place and do something with the horse they rode in on. No apologies from me. I am who I am, male female, or just a little green person from outer space.

QuoteTo me it is female privilege that we can get to experiment, even transwomen without negative consequences when guys can't.

Female privilege? I wouldn't call it that, when it comes out of the attitude of a society that just doesn't take women's sexuality seriously. Being able to experiment may be a side benefit, but nothing that comes out of a lack of respect should be labeled "privilege," IMO.

The whole idea of "experimenting" is grounded in a belief that what two women do with each other doesn't count as sex. (Cf. Bill Clinton's "I never had sex with that woman." For many people in this society, if it doesn't involve p-in-v, it's not sex.)

Quote from: Tysilio on September 02, 2014, 04:36:26 PM
Female privilege? I wouldn't call it that, when it comes out of the attitude of a society that just doesn't take women's sexuality seriously. Being able to experiment may be a side benefit, but nothing that comes out of a lack of respect should be labeled "privilege," IMO.

The whole idea of "experimenting" is grounded in a belief that what two women do with each other doesn't count as sex. (Cf. Bill Clinton's "I never had sex with that woman." For many people in this society, if it doesn't involve p-in-v, it's not sex.)

Spot on.  Great post.

I feel like i know what ur saying.

I'm also soley attracted to women, romantically and sexually. But there is few exceptions?

I have total guy crush on chris pratt. Not sexually, or romantically either but there's SOMETHING thats setting that off.

Maybe its just a admiration or like someone mentioned a personality crush.

I appreciate this topic.  I've been wondering if I'm the only one that has changed in sex preferences.  Sex preference, not sexual preference.  I've lived my life as a lesbian never attracted to males.  Since I've discovered and been exploring my transness I have fantasized about males.  I have sex with my wife always penetrating her and never being penetrated.  I fantasize penetrating males and being penetrated anally with males, never as a female.  This freaked me out a little but I'm understanding it more now I think.  For me this seems to go along with the being more open theory, and finally experiencing sex the way it feels normal to me.  I am pre everything, never taken T. 

I'd like to thank everyone for posting because it has truly helped me understand myself and have given me various ways to think about changing sexuality.  Although I'm thinking now that for me I'm not changing sexuality.  I'm simply finally discovering what is natural for me.

My sexuality has definitely been fluid and evolving in transition. I've been attracted to guys for as long as I can remember, but the sexual/gender dynamics just felt off when I was female and with straight guys. So back then I gravitated more towards women. But now hooking up with guys everything just feels much more natural/comfortable and I find myself more interested in men than woman. So I think I've always been more attracted to men but not being in the right body complicated all of that. I try not to over-think it and just "go with the flow" but I think society puts a lot of pressure on us to categorize ourselves and we internalize that.