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For those questioning

Started by Athena, September 03, 2014, 02:23:56 PM

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Athena

It was suggested to me that these videos might help some so I thought I'd put them in their own post.

first MTF



then FTM



Please note these videos are not a substitute for therapy but for those questioning may offer clues to your journey.
Formally known as White Rabbit
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katiej

These are really helpful.  It was a revelation to me that most people don't go through these things like I do.  That's what made me realize that I am, in fact, transgender.
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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Taka

these videos sum up what i've learned on this site really well.
i also think it would be wise for all members of the site to watch these videos, because she explains different degrees and signs of dysphoria in a way that is easy to understand, and also makes clear how you don't need to to have the archetypal transsexual experience in order to be "trans enough".
it can be good to contemplate a little on how different the trans experience can be from person to person.
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Sarah84

I watched both videos. I am always having some doubts about my identity. I was interested in the comparison of those two videos and my reaction to both of them. And I now even more sure that I am transgender. The FTM video showed me that I really don't want to remain in male form.
My real name is Monika :)
HRT: 11.11.2014
SRS: 5.11.2015 with Chettawut
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FriendsCallMeChris

What I needed when I needed it. thanks so much for posting these
Chris
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Asche

Are transcripts available?  I have a really, really hard time taking in information from videos.
"...  I think I'm great just the way I am, and so are you." -- Jazz Jennings



CPTSD
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Athena

Sorry I haven't found a transcript. I am not sure if I am supposed to post a link to her website but you can find it in other videos of hers.

Just remember folks these are short videos that only guide you to a path that might be worthwhile for you to explore. The only person that can tell you if this is the right path is you.
Formally known as White Rabbit
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Larisa

I watched it and was like wow! It def would make me realize Im trans if I wasnt sure. Just those question were easy for me to answer.
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suzifrommd

I don't know. I think this wouldn't have helped much if I'd seen it pre-transition. My symptoms (fascination with women's media and female fictional characters, making friends only with females as an adult) were not really mentioned, either here or in the second video which I found and watched. I never had body dysphoria, even mild dysphoria, though I did wish I'd wake up with a female body.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Taka

she did say that your symptoms might not even be on the list presented, but could still be valid.
those are probably the statistically most common or something.
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Illuminess

1. How do you feel about your body as it is?
Well, I don't have the standard, narrow male shape. I do actually have some hips, along with some other things that might be indicative of XXY; so due to that I'm not terribly body dysphoric, but there are things that I would like to see change such as my skin, fat and chest development. I'd also like my hairline back. Unrelated to trans dysphoria, I was also born with club feet and had to undergo corrective surgery, so now there's scarring and deformity. It's not grotesque or anything, but it does make me self-conscious. I also really hate my nose.

2. Imagine having a different body: curves, soft features, no body or facial hair, etc. Does imagining this provide sense of relief?
Imagining that to any extreme makes me cry, because I would trade everything I have for that. I may not be hyper-feminine, but I know who I am now. It was never a man. I never tried to be one to any social expectation, but I never said otherwise, because I didn't figure it all out until nearly 2 years ago. I still struggle a bit, thinking that the whole "androgyne" thing might be more accurate, but I think the ratio is more like 80% F / 20% M. Just enough masculinity to make me "butch" (and I really hate that word, because it doesn't really fit). I really wish this was more understood. Not all who transition want to wear traditional women's clothing. Fashion isn't static.

Anyway, thank you for posting the video. I'm going to be viewing her other ones, as well.
△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Illuminess

I sent the woman in the video an email. I'm going to see what it costs to work with her online. I like her philosophy which is something I doubt I'd find very easily here in Texas.
△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Athena

Just be careful and make sure you go at your own pace. I would suspect she is very supportive but my natural paranoia makes me think there is a possibility of her being too supportive, but that is based on short videos on youtube that I do believe are rather helpful.

I can't fault anything she says and in fact if her letters of recommendation held weight in Canada I would consider her myself.
Formally known as White Rabbit
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Illuminess

Quote from: White Rabbit on September 04, 2014, 08:43:21 PM
Just be careful and make sure you go at your own pace. I would suspect she is very supportive but my natural paranoia makes me think there is a possibility of her being too supportive, but that is based on short videos on youtube that I do believe are rather helpful.

I can't fault anything she says and in fact if her letters of recommendation held weight in Canada I would consider her myself.

Yeah. I'm very discerning, though. If something feels off I'll cease interactions. I do see what you mean by being "too supportive", but her clinical work might be less feel-goody than her videos. I guess I'll find out if she's not ridiculously expensive.
△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Athena

If she is helpful no need to cut ties with her, just make sure you go at a pace that is right for you.

I've been hearing stories here about a few therapists who seem to be pushing faster then people have been ready for, I have no idea if she will do that. Don't let anyone tell you that you should go faster then you are ready for. In my opinion it should be the trans person that asks for any recommendation not the therapist offering it.

Keep caution close to heart then it doesn't matter even if she turns out to be the Oprah of referral letters just go at your own pace.
Formally known as White Rabbit
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Illuminess

△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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katiej

Quote from: White Rabbit on September 04, 2014, 10:17:28 PM
I've been hearing stories here about a few therapists who seem to be pushing faster then people have been ready for, I have no idea if she will do that. Don't let anyone tell you that you should go faster then you are ready for. In my opinion it should be the trans person that asks for any recommendation not the therapist offering it.

I've been looking into therapists in the Seattle area.  There was one that I liked, but I was a little turned off by the fact that she'll do a recommendation letter after only one visit.  Informed consent is fine for some people, but I'm looking for a longer term relationship with a therapist that has a coaching mentality.

I don't have severe emotional baggage to work through, but I definitely want a qualified professional to help me work through the issues I do have...some of which I'm sure I'm not aware of yet.

I ultimately settled on another therapist, but similar to this, I'm a bit wary of her bias towards trans people.  On one hand, it's her specialty, and that's why I'm going to see her.  But I also don't want to be pushed into anything.
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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Taka

the easiest way to avoid being pushed in a direction that might be wrong, is to say no unless you know you want it right now.
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jaybutterfly

This was massively helpful. Only thing I stick out from is that I still love my martial arts due to learning being interesting.

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Elis

Thanks, both FTM videos were really helpful
They/them pronouns preferred.



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