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I feel kind of weird, I'm attracted to trans people, men and women and not cis

Started by JulieBlair, September 06, 2014, 12:20:25 PM

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JulieBlair

My lover is a wonderful man, who approaches masculinity from a feminine past.  I am also obsessing on a woman who  comes to womanhood from a masculine past.  Cis men and women seem one dimensional to me and not very interesting sexually or intimately at all.  This seems even stranger because until a few months ago I wasn't much interested in getting close to anyone.

Maybe it is because I can't get a surgery date for too god - awful long.  But it is real, interesting,  and a little disturbing to me.  So am I just an oversexed old broad, or is there something else?  I am waking up happy a lot, and that is nice.  ;)

Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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alabamagirl

It's a very human thing to be attracted to those we feel understand us. Maybe you're attracted to other trans people because you feel they understand you better than a cis person would?

Although, not all of us come from a masculine past. My time living as a cis male... Well, I wasn't living. I didn't understand that world or how to be masculine. I just emulated what others seemed to think masculinity was. I had no ability to connect with others and make friends back then, because I was such a fake, maladjusted person, bitter, angry and depressed because I was repressing everything I was. I always feel so out of place when people start talking about knowing what both sides are like, because I was never able to figure out the male side of life. I was never a part of it, no matter how hard I tried to be.
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Taka

gender ambiguity has always been attractive to me. i'm attracted to cis people too, but i really like it if a guy looks good in drag. or a woman has a boyish side.

cis people are often boring. but that's probably not because they're cis. there are many interesting cis people. people with interests, views that can expand my world, the ability to lead a mindblowing conversation, and those who simply have the ability to talk about other things than just the weather, what they did last weekend, and what they're going to do the next. it's also really boring when all a person can talk about is child-rearing.

trans people are less likely to be boring, because they already had to reflect a whole lot more on the world and everything in it, than what most people will ever do. but... just the gender ambiguity is so interesting to me that, well... i don't really need anything more to be attracted. i do believe there would have to be a little more than just trans about a person for a relationship to work though.
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Jess42

Quote from: JulieBlair on September 06, 2014, 12:20:25 PM
My lover is a wonderful man, who approaches masculinity from a feminine past.  I am also obsessing on a woman who  comes to womanhood from a masculine past.  Cis men and women seem one dimensional to me and not very interesting sexually or intimately at all.  This seems even stranger because until a few months ago I wasn't much interested in getting close to anyone.

Maybe it is because I can't get a surgery date for too god - awful long.  But it is real, interesting,  and a little disturbing to me.  So am I just an oversexed old broad, or is there something else?  I am waking up happy a lot, and that is nice.  ;)

Julie

I seriously doubt it is because of a surgery date. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. I have always been bi and trans and both I pretty much accepted the trans part at an early age even though I had no clue what trans was at the time. The bi part came during puberty. I like girly guys, I like manly guys, I like masculine women and I like girly girls. I can't help it, it is just a part of me like any other part. Just go with it Julie, old broad or not hon. Just have fun and enoy while it lasts. ;)
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mrs izzy

I personally would not take it any other way.

Anyone in our community would be ones I would be attracted to.

CIS I feel always had something in the back of there minds.

Just me and that's how I snagged my husband.

Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Jess42

Quote from: mrs izzy on September 06, 2014, 05:50:39 PM
I personally would not take it any other way.

Anyone in our community would be ones I would be attracted to.

CIS I feel always had something in the back of there minds.

Just me and that's how I snagged my husband.

I definitely agree. My last girlfriend was trans. My current boyfriend is bi, maybe? He had a boyfriend before me and to him I am just any other woman except for one thing. And I am not top for any guy. :embarrassed:
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JulieBlair

It is kind of reassuring to know I'm not alone in this.  Make for a crazy party if you get too many of us in the same space for too long.  Take rock and roll to a whole new mountaintop. ;)

Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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warmbody28

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Ms Grace

I wouldn't see it as a problem, you like who you like for who they are and there isn't a fetish attached to it. Sounds like normal loving feelings to me!
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Taka

there's nothing wrong with fetishes unless you rape because of them, and they are also a part of the person's being.
you're ok so long as you don't see people for that one feature only. being attractes to a certain feature isn't weird at all, what's weird is if you don't care about anything else.
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justpat

    Julie I don't find it weird at all.We have an understanding and flexibility that the cis poles do not.In the end all we want is for some one to love ,understand and accept us for who we are.Who better than one of our own,after all we are very special human beings.  Patty
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Claire (formerly Magdalena)

Nothing wrong with having a preference. The important bit, seems to me, is that you're waking up happy. I hope that means much happiness is distributed throughout your day, too. :D

I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way



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Jess42

Quote from: Taka on September 07, 2014, 04:59:26 AM
there's nothing wrong with fetishes unless you rape because of them, and they are also a part of the person's being.
you're ok so long as you don't see people for that one feature only. being attractes to a certain feature isn't weird at all, what's weird is if you don't care about anything else.

I 100% agree. Fetishes are fine as long as it is consensual and of the age of consent. I have certain things I like but will definitely not go into them, :embarrassed: and I am sure others have certain things they like but as long as it is just a fetish instead of an infatuation or obsession and the whole person is important than just one part of that person, then all is good.

I will confess. I think trans women are way more attractive in a whole round about way than cis women when it comes to femininity and trans men are way more genuinely real men than most of the childish, "god look at the tits on that one" type of men. So yeah I am attracted to other trans people too but not because they are trans though. I'm easily just as attracted to cis men that don't act like schoolboys with something to prove and cis women that are not so judgmental and so jealous of other women and embrace the femininity proudly.  If I am lesbian I am definitely lipstick and don't want a woman cis or trans that want to prove they are just as good as guys. And guys cis or trans, as long as they don't act like school yard lady killers and only want one thing and done with me, I'm game.

I guess I just really don't care about anything other than the femininity and the masculinity, regardless of the genitals as long as both are secure in who they are. Does that make sense? Or am I just rambling on?
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JulieBlair

Jess,
You make perfect sense.   What is interesting to me about trans men and women is femininity and masculinity,  sans power and control.  I have some wonderful cis men and women in my life but they are friends, not playmates or bed buddies.  It is quite possible that I am selling them short.  That may have more to do with my own lingering paranoia than any cues I get from them.  I doubt I would ever have this conversation outside of a trans forum.  I'm at ease here, more than I can ever remember being.  I trust you, and do not feel I need to prove anything to you, or fear that you will reject me because of who I authenticity am, craziness and all.

Perhaps one day I'll grow up, but for now this group of people which spans generational and geographic boundaries is the most interesting collection of intellectually amazing people, cis or trans, gay or straight, that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  There is an esprit de corps here forged from struggle that is both reassuring and sexy.

You are my people,  of course I am drawn to you.  More importantly,  you are thoughtful and loving, (and a little too politically correct ;) )  I feel fortunate to call you friends and lovers.  I just wish I didn't have to spend so much time on airplanes to get to hang with you, hear your music, hold your hands.  But I can think of worse quests than traveling the world to meet beauty, so I hope to see you on the flip side one of these days.

Shalom,
Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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Taka

i only speak politically correct. because that's what i have to do here in order to not be modded.
it's also the safer way, as there are some sensitive souls who come by to read posts.

if there were a little more freedom to be politically horribly incorrect in typing, i might have shown a whole lot more of myself.
sides that i don't know whether are positive or negative to people like you.
it's a little difficult to know without talking about those things. and talking about them is difficult when i have to watch my language.
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Jess42

Quote from: JulieBlair on September 08, 2014, 02:17:12 AM
Jess,
You make perfect sense.   What is interesting to me about trans men and women is femininity and masculinity,  sans power and control.  I have some wonderful cis men and women in my life but they are friends, not playmates or bed buddies.  It is quite possible that I am selling them short.  That may have more to do with my own lingering paranoia than any cues I get from them.  I doubt I would ever have this conversation outside of a trans forum.  I'm at ease here, more than I can ever remember being.  I trust you, and do not feel I need to prove anything to you, or fear that you will reject me because of who I authenticity am, craziness and all.

Perhaps one day I'll grow up, but for now this group of people which spans generational and geographic boundaries is the most interesting collection of intellectually amazing people, cis or trans, gay or straight, that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  There is an esprit de corps here forged from struggle that is both reassuring and sexy.

You are my people,  of course I am drawn to you.  More importantly,  you are thoughtful and loving, (and a little too politically correct ;) )  I feel fortunate to call you friends and lovers.  I just wish I didn't have to spend so much time on airplanes to get to hang with you, hear your music, hold your hands.  But I can think of worse quests than traveling the world to meet beauty, so I hope to see you on the flip side one of these days.

Shalom,
Julie

You may very well be selling some of them short Julie. But then again maybe not. Sometimes it's hard to say.

But we all have something in common here. We know ourselves better than anyone else in the world inside and out. It's hard to say whether being trans is a blessing or curse or a mix between the two. Most of society never questions their inside because their inside and outside matches, or they believe it does anyway. We on the other hand feel a sort of disconnect between our psyches and bodies. And this one little thing makes us question who we really are, especially on the inside. This can drive us mad if we let it. I have played with the madness myself. But it also give us something that is far greater than just and understanding of gender though because while questioning and trying to understand gender, we actually get to know ourselves on way deeper levels than what I think most other people in society do. This makes us less judgmental, more open and a lot of other things in the world that are a list of positives. But we have our negatives to like feeling left out of society and how society thinks of us sometimes.

Don't grow up or rather never stop growing. It is always a learning experience and once you stop learning then that is the day you stop breathing.

Politically correct? Me? :o You gotta' be joking right? I am probably about the most unpolitically correct person I know. >:-)
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JulieBlair

Taka & Jess,
I know the consequences of not being careful (Evelyn for example)  God, I would love to have a drink with you two,  Louisiana and Norway, sounds like a good trip.  I'm an old radical hippy chick myself, but not here ;).  I suppose without some guidance some might get abusive, and there is a place for decorum, but sometimes I just want to let my biker bitch out.  As for growing up:  Not bloody likely!

Taka, did you study in England or the states?  Your English is better than mine.  I have never gotten past singing Per Spelmann in Norwegian. I wish we taught languages more in the US.  Throughout Europe and particularly Scandinavia, I am astonished that most people start a sentence in one language and seamlessly move to another seemingly without pause.  In Copenhagen, even the kids at the Burger King speak flawless English.  I am in awe.

vi snakkes

julie

PS Disclaimer - I don't drink and haven't for a couple of decades.  I kept misplacing things, motorcycles, jobs, wives stuff like that.
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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Taka

english is actually extremely similar to norwegian/swedish/danish (they're basically dialects of the same language). we learn it easily, the odd changes in pronunciation aren't much weirder than what we find between our own different dialect. syntax is also very similar, so similar in fact that scandinavians often make mistakes that mean something in english, just not what they meant to say. we also have a long history of never dubbing movies, so we're exposed to english even before we're born.

i never studied really studied english after grade school. learning came through reading, hearing, speaking, and writing. because i like to read, i ended up getting ahead of most kids, and was a little shocked to learn that 9th graders in a different school couldn't understand texts from the old testament. i had too good teachers at the former school, and tolkien taught me a lot too. i've always been a fan of correct spelling too, that also helps a lot. though i find myself making a bit too many typos when i don't pay attention, or when i switch between norwegian and english keyboard layouts... it could also be mentioned that i studied (general) linguistics in university. half of the students were from africa, so we naturally ended up speaking more english than norwegian.

i also speak both norwegian and lule saami on a daily basis. switching language comes perfectly naturally, some times i switch language from person to person. other times, i'll be in a conversation where all participants switch languages seemingly randomly and often mid sentence. bilingualism is really fun when there's a whole community that have it in common.

(do you have any other interests to pull me off topic with...?)
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JulieBlair

Hundreds, but that is what Facebook is for :)   I'm Julie Blair in Seattle WA
Ciao,
j
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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Jess42

Quote from: JulieBlair on September 08, 2014, 09:16:39 AM
Taka & Jess,
I know the consequences of not being careful (Evelyn for example)  God, I would love to have a drink with you two,  Louisiana and Norway, sounds like a good trip.  I'm an old radical hippy chick myself, but not here ;).  I suppose without some guidance some might get abusive, and there is a place for decorum, but sometimes I just want to let my biker bitch out.  As for growing up:  Not bloody likely!

Taka, did you study in England or the states?  Your English is better than mine.  I have never gotten past singing Per Spelmann in Norwegian. I wish we taught languages more in the US.  Throughout Europe and particularly Scandinavia, I am astonished that most people start a sentence in one language and seamlessly move to another seemingly without pause.  In Copenhagen, even the kids at the Burger King speak flawless English.  I am in awe.

vi snakkes

julie

PS Disclaimer - I don't drink and haven't for a couple of decades.  I kept misplacing things, motorcycles, jobs, wives stuff like that.

Yeah but isn't there something now about smiting others out of spite? As a matter of fact, I love to hear differing opinions. And differing opinions on a forum like this is an extremely good thing because the people that might just be passing through and or just wanting to learn more about us as a group of people can actually see how diverse we are in our thinking. That except for one thing, that we are all normal people going about our lives with our own differing views just like anyone else in the world.

Yeah Julie, I'll never grow up either. But it kinda' sux cause I still grow older though. :(
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