You have to be aware, that though oestrogen is awesome and wonderful and fantastic, it can cause depression, and even exacerbate symptoms already there. So giving it to someone who is suicidal, is probably not the best idea, irrespective of the fact it would probably make them not suicidal.
I would say listen to the good doctor and go on antidepressants, and keep pushing to go on oestrogen. Its not one or the other after all, and who knows, when they realise antidepressants aren't working that great maybe they'll put you on E too 😀