As I push my boundaries and express myself in a more androgynous and authentic way, and see that some of what I thought was impossible for me is possible , the more I feel driven to push myself even more.  I really am so glad these changes are taking place in my life but God it is hard work sometimes.  And with every step I find courage to take it seems there is another bigger and more difficult step ahead.  And it is so much more distressing to deal with situations such as work where my expression is limited.  I feel like I have to literally carve a place for myself in the world cuz there just isn't one there for people like me right now.  I know I have the strength to do this but it feels ->-bleeped-<-ing relentless at times.  And this morning it feels good to go GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!    That feels better       

i don't push myself, instead i just don't hold back.
all i get back is lots of smiles, and an odd look from time to time.
taking it easy feel nice. carving is too much work.

Quote from: Taka on September 08, 2014, 05:21:04 AM
taking it easy feel nice. carving is too much work.

Often times our place in the world is already there, it just takes patience and time to realize..
Its much harder to dig a ditch and force our self into it, than to walk back and forth once a day and wear down the right place that fits us..

So glad you feel better today from sharing..

Perhaps this shout:


FFFRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Blessings....

Taka - on the nail again friend - happening to me in this understated presentation too....

I like it when the cashiers say here is your change sweetie..... they do that now.  Total strangers, gendering it neutral and complimentary.

I love that.

Thanks for sharing yeah I hear all that.  I have held back with this stuff for so long that sometimes it feels like I have to do it all NOW or I will explode!  But really my comfort zone is expanding all the time, I just have to have faith in myself and my path and it flows...