I tried T for about 5 months, the gel, never a full dose and never got up to normal male levels. I never passed, grew a little hair on my stomach that went away. I quit 4 years ago. I won't go into the why or wherefore.
I still look more masculine than before although my whole life I got the are you a boy or girl thing.
But now I get hassled more on the street day to day interactions for looking like a pardon the term so I won't type it but you know.
So how can I look more fem so I can live in peace and not look so in between. I am so tired of being bullied.
Thanks.

Did your voice drop? You'll probably need to start doing voice exercises to get it higher again, possibly going for voice therapy. I would say more but I don't know what you look like.

No my voice didn't really change. It was always lower, I was told to sing tenor parts in high school choir instead of alto.
I still ID internally as male but can't transition so I need to pass, and I do I just get harassed all the time, not too different from when I was in middle school.

one thing that women often do, is wear visual cues to their gender.
another thing they do is to feel insulted rather than bullied when people start questioning their gender.
"i beg your pardon!" is the right answer, said in a female offended tone.
there are ways women usually react, that are different to how a man would react.

have you tried observing somewhat masculine feminists?

Quote from: DCRat on September 08, 2014, 03:30:19 PM
I tried T for about 5 months, the gel, never a full dose and never got up to normal male levels. I never passed, grew a little hair on my stomach that went away. I quit 4 years ago. I won't go into the why or wherefore.
I still look more masculine than before although my whole life I got the are you a boy or girl thing.
But now I get hassled more on the street day to day interactions for looking like a pardon the term so I won't type it but you know.
So how can I look more fem so I can live in peace and not look so in between. I am so tired of being bullied.
Thanks.

Are you wearing women's clothing?  Do you have a woman's hair style?  Those are the first steps when it comes to female cues.  Were you butch prior to transition?  If so, maybe you have to go further towards the feminine end of the gender presentation spectrum than you did pre-T, in order to be read as female (due to the lasting effects of the T)?  Meaning, if you were butch before, you can't just go back to that and be read as a masculine female.  Maybe you need to go more feminine in your hair/clothing style in order to be read as female now.

Thanks for the replies.
I am still trying to figure out how to be comfortable in my own skin.
It's not that I don't pass as female it's more of a mental thing I think.
I don't feel comfortable.
I would love to transition but I can't it's not going to be possible.
So I have to adjust.
I wonder if I should take extra female hormones.

Quote from: DCRat on September 17, 2014, 03:16:44 PM
Thanks for the replies.
I am still trying to figure out how to be comfortable in my own skin.
It's not that I don't pass as female it's more of a mental thing I think.
I don't feel comfortable.
I would love to transition but I can't it's not going to be possible.
So I have to adjust.
I wonder if I should take extra female hormones.

Estrogen is not as powerful as testosterone, so it will not effect your facial structure in the way that testosterone did (if that is what you are looking for?).  That is why some trans* women get FFS.  T-Blockers and Estrogen are not enough to make the change.

might be an idea to try different types of birth control.
there is a possibility that leveling out your hormones so at least you don't get the bad fluctuation or periods, might help your moods.
pregnancy hormones have different effects on different people. i can't remember what birth control actually did to me, but i do know that i've never been as pretty and feminine and beautiful as during pregnancy.

clothing style might also help with passing as female. dress womanly rather than just feminine, that will make it harder for people to express any confusion.

Have you considered the non binary idea? Or do you really feel a need to fit in at only one end of the spectrum?

I am really androgynous. I always have been. Nonbinary is totally me.
I guess I live in too conservative of an area.
Someone said to me to be myself and that is of course always the best advice.
I keep reminding myself that if people bother me for my phenotype it's their bad not mine.
Thanks everyone.

You need to ask yourself why you want to look more female-Because that's how you FEEL or because you don't want to be bullied? No one wants to be bullied and when you're in the "in between" in looks, attractiveness, intelligence, etc. you want to go with what is better. Non-binary people exist. Being non-binary is fine. I love that you experimented with T and when you found that it wasn't for you, you stopped without the whole "->-bleeped-<- the medical system" mentality. Bullying isn't something to play with so I understand your desires, but don't put your mental health at risk. I pass most of the time as male but whenever I don't (or feel I don't look masculine at all), I start questioning why I'm even trying to transition when I should just look like a girl but I'm much happier now with the fact that I will be seeing changes.. Our psyche plays tricks on us depending on social pressures. If you can, get out of the conservative area for a while to find yourself. Don't compromise your happiness for others. Don't be scared to go to the police if you're harrassed as I imagine there is a law against that (despite the conservative area).

Quote from: DCRat on September 28, 2014, 12:45:17 PM
I am really androgynous. I always have been. Nonbinary is totally me.
I guess I live in too conservative of an area.
Someone said to me to be myself and that is of course always the best advice.
I keep reminding myself that if people bother me for my phenotype it's their bad not mine.
Thanks everyone.

I speak from experience that gaining confidence can be huge. Others can sense confidence and a lot of times bullies will not harass a confident person because they're no longer an easy target. This is something I wish I would have figured out earlier in life. When I was a kid I was a target because when other kids would find out I wasn't born a male, just looked and "acted" like one, they would pick on me. I didn't gain the confidence until many years later but it certainly has helped. No matter what my ID says, I'll always be myself now and that self is a somewhat androgynous looking male. Even if other people see female. I don't put on an act anymore or try to fit myself in. I really don't run into very many issues and people are a lot more accepting of my being different because I carry myself with confidence in who I am.

How to gain the confidence is the real trick. For me, focusing on being myself was key. Dressing how I felt comfortable, having my hair they way I wanted, and dropping any kind of forced act to fit in helped a lot. My guess is that experimenting with what makes you feel more comfortable can lead to naturally gaining more confidence.

If this is really about bullying-
My experience is that attacks get less when you move with a certain confidence, for example when you are doing martial arts, attackers often sense that.
On the other hand, looking distinctly gender queer can certainly attract attackers. If you don't mind passing as 100% female, I'd invest in some fashion advise or something, ask people who are good with this to assist you with dressing feminine.
I knew a woman who had a hormonal unbalance that caused the same changes as some time on T. She fend off bullying by being very confident and at the same time dressing conventionally female, earrings and stuff.