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Did transition change your sexual preference?

Started by kelly_aus, September 04, 2014, 03:38:48 AM

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MyKa

Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today.....J.Dean
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Asniceasme

Quote from: CrysC on September 05, 2014, 12:16:27 AM
I liked girls before and like them still.  I'm still not attracted to men but the concept is not mentally jarring like it used to be.  At most it's slightly curious.  I still though am not attracted to them in the least and actually hate seeing man bits on me when I change. 

The big difference for me is I don't crave sex (thank God!) and really enjoy a good cuddle instead.  I'll take a cuddle over sex. Anybody else feel like that?

I have actually felt like that for most of my life...a nice cuddle is better than having sex
When we look into a mirror, we see who we really are. But when we look into our minds, we see whoever we think we are.
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noleen111

ok, reading the responses... i feel a little like a freak

before hormones i was into only woman... been with a man was eeeeuw for me.. I started HRT and as the hormones started doing their thing, the idea of been with a man was not so eeeeuw anymore.. I went a on date with a man, a favor for a friend, he needed a date for a function. We hit it off and we  actually ended up dating  for a few months. Kissing him and been held by him was weird at first and i was intermit with him too.. I got use to it and actually liked it.

Now I am bi-sexual.. I find myself actually wanting a boyfriend.. at the moment I am kinda involved with a woman 20 years older than me.. nothing serious... she is exploring lesbianism, i actually met her at a lesbian bar. But I still in my mind am on the look out for a man.

I think hormones had an effect on my sexuality..
Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was
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Dread_Faery

Many people find their sexuality is fluid, nothing is set in stone. Changing your perception of yourself does not invalidate your existence and experiences previous to that. Going on HRT can massively change your perception of yourself and it's natural that things might change.
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EllieM

no change here. still have a strong preference for women.
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Annabelle

Hmm... I can confidently say I'm still a lesbian. As of late I do find some guys increasingly attractive, but I still can't imagine being in a relationship with one. o.o I am now starting to question myself...
Boo~

12-5-2014 start of hrt.
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CrissyMarie

My whole life before transition, I was only interested sexually and physically to girls.  I viewed myself as what I thought was a straight male.  1 year before HRT I found my self physically attracted to guy, not sexually.  I was still only into girls.  2 weeks after I had started HRT, I had almost an over night change in sexuality.  I was intensely physically and sexually attracted to men, and my view towards woman change to envy, and oh they are pretty.  6 months now, I have not thought about woman once and only men.  I came to the conclusion "Was I lesbian?" "Am I straight now?".  After telling myself that I'm not gay, and thought I'm only attracted to men as a woman, I now know that "I'm straight for men".

And I finally am with my first boyfriend now after we dated some.  Everything feels so natural and normal, from emotions to sex.  I don't hesitate to do anything with him.  Yet I can remember when with those girls in the past I was always more focused on holding, cuddling, kissing, and foreplay.  And wasn't very interested in sex with them.  So I feel so much better about showing that side of me with my boyfriend, because of the mental re-wiring for female life.  I'm finally in tune with my body.  So it's possible that my brain decided I was better fit for pleasing a man then woman.



"I don't always sit like a lady..but when I do" - I sit like a boss!
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kaylagirl0806

I'm not on hormones(yet) but something i've noticed is that the more i let my girl side out the more i find that i'm attracted to guys
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KaylaMadison

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on September 09, 2014, 03:13:59 PM
I'm not on hormones(yet) but something i've noticed is that the more i let my girl side out the more i find that i'm attracted to guys

This is pretty much the same for me. I haven't started hormones but it seems i can only see myself with men in a romantic relationship. I think my wife pretty much hit it on the head when she stated that I have always been attracted to men. I sought female relatioships because I coveted them and buried the attraction I had to men deep down with everything else i was trying to cover up. By finally being true and comfortable with myself it's much clearer in that sense. I believe that it may appear that your sexual preference is changing but it's more like that its always been there.
Came out to self/wife - 5 June 2014
Started HRT - 8 April 2015
Full Time - 29 May 2015
Currently Working on Name Change
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CandyCaneTie

Although I'm pre-everything and therefore can't say if HRT will have an effect on my sexuality, I have noticed a shift in my own perception of my sexuality since coming to terms with the fact that I'm a trans guy.

I've always identified as bisexual, being more physically attracted to women and (I thought) more emotionally attracted to men. As silly as it sounds, the reason I thought this was because I became intensely attached to many male fictional characters. I loved writing the part of men, whether it was in stories or roleplaying games or whatever, and I led myself to believe that my ideal partner would be this certain type of man that I always gravitated toward writing/reading about.

Over the years, I realized that I wasn't attracted to that type of man, I wanted to be that type of man. I realized that even if I met this ideal guy, I wouldn't be fulfilled by dating him. I would feel empty and jealous that he got to be the person that I always wanted to be.

Roleplaying also taught me that my sexual preference for women was as a man and not as a bisexual woman or lesbian. When I was writing from the POV of the man and developing a relationship with a female character, something clicked. Everything, including the idea of sex, felt so much more right when I viewed myself as male. I discovered that I wanted to be a girl's man, boyfriend, prince, Romeo, dream guy, husband (someday), all that stuff.

Upon accepting myself as a guy, I have also become more comfortable with the idea of being with another guy. Back when I was trying to be female, I dated men and had sex with men, but it never felt right at all. I can much more easily see myself dating a man as my true male self, but it still doesn't appeal greatly to me. Nothing feels as right as the idea of myself as man with a woman, romantically and sexually.

Another note: no matter how appealing I found someone before, it was hard to be truly attracted to them when I didn't like the idea of myself performing as a female sexually with them. Visualizing myself having sex as a female with almost anyone was a big turn-off. It always felt wrong. So I was very prudish and uncomfortable with intimacy and even thought myself asexual many times. But now that I see myself as a man and am going to start transition, everything has changed. I view sex as a wonderful thing that I'm very excited to have now that I can, or will soon be able to, perform as my true self.

Overall, I think it makes perfect sense for our sexualities to flux as we transition. A big, big part of sexuality is the role that you play in it yourself, after all, which I think people forget sometimes. When most people talk about sexual orientation, it's "do you like men, women, or both?" But something that trans people know better than cis is that it doesn't end there. It also includes "do you like the idea of being a man with a woman, a man with a man, a woman with a woman, or a woman with a man?"
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Rachel

My sexual preference is the same. I always see myself with a guy in my head. The male body is beautiful, sexually. My first long term relationship and bunch of flings were with guys. The ones I was with I could not connect with other than sex. I enjoy female company, tough and tenderness. I can have sex with women but sex the sex as with a male.
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EmmaMcAllister

Orientation? No. I'm still bi. But I have noticed some changes. I've had a strong interest in sadomasochism since an early age, and I generally saw myself as a sadist. However, since accepting myself as a woman, I've felt a strong urge to be dominated. I'm not sure what this says about my subconscious views on gender.  ???
Started HRT in October, 2014. Orchiectomy in August, 2015. Full-time in July, 2016!

If you need an understanding ear, feel free to PM me.
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CandyCaneTie

Quote from: EmmaMcAllister on September 09, 2014, 08:35:17 PM
Orientation? No. I'm still bi. But I have noticed some changes. I've had a strong interest in sadomasochism since an early age, and I generally saw myself as a sadist. However, since accepting myself as a woman, I've felt a strong urge to be dominated. I'm not sure what this says about my subconscious views on gender.  ???

Most women are wired to enjoy being dominated, while most men are wired to enjoy doing the dominating. I don't think it has anything to do with your subconscious views on gender, it's just a fact of life.
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Jayde70

Hi the thought off giving my self to a man sexually arouses me somewhat but emotionally I'm attracted to women and I'm more emotional now the warmth the touching holding cuddling sexual kisses arouses me more Wright now anyways.
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Michelle G

Just a "California Girl" trying to enjoy each sunny day
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Hideyoshi

I was more or less straight through highschool. Once I started experiencing more dysphoria in my late teens, my sexuality drifted a bit, and by 20 I was only into guys.

Quote from: Michelle G on September 10, 2014, 10:40:17 AM
No....men are still disgusting to me

::)

Replace 'men' with 'women' or 'transwomen' or 'transmen' and someone might get offended. Imagine that.
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Auroramarianna

Quote from: Hideyoshi on September 10, 2014, 10:43:14 AM
Replace 'men' with 'women' or 'transwomen' or 'transmen' and someone might get offended. Imagine that.
I agree. We shouldn't be promoting misandry here, we shouldn't hate on anyone. We are hated a lot for no reason... why would we do the same to other people??
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Jenna Marie

Sexually speaking? Heck, I saw someone post "being with a woman would be gross for me" just today. I'm not offended; people are allowed to like/be attracted to whatever works for them.

(It's a little childish and not polite to express it in terms of "yuck!", but I don't think sexual preferences = bigotry. In fact, rather the opposite - if I expect people to respect my preferences, I have to respect theirs.)
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Violet Bloom

  A few members have already expressed very similar feelings to my own but I'm not going to quote them.  In my case discovering my transgender identity and transitioning actually strongly reinforced and cemented my sexual preference.  I am exclusively attracted to women sexually and romantically.  The only thing that changed was seeing myself as a lesbian rather than a straight male.  The understandings that flowed from this were instrumental in my mental transition and in properly defining and gaining my sexual identity and physical sexual responses.  I know now that I need to be partnered with a more-dominant woman and that I'm not ashamed of that (as I was made to feel as a male).  It empowers and frees me to experience sexual sensations that I never even imagined.

  Transition, or rather the hyper-analysis I've put into it, has introduced me to the wide spectrum of female character and physical appearance that exists and clarified exactly what it is within it that appeals to me.  I once read about a comedian who described herself as "fella-girly" which immediately struck a chord with me (I believe she's a lesbian).  My instincts attract me to women with what would generally be termed 'boyish' figures and characters.  I could never reconcile that until I fully understood my own identity and motivations.  It borders on being attracted to many FTMs but never quite crosses that line.  The tendencies are often attractive but not the strongly male elements.  Relationship-wise I would seek someone who was more extroverted and would act in a boyfriend-like or husband-like way but while still retaining the female elements that attract me.

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Violet Bloom

Quote from: Jenna Marie on September 10, 2014, 11:20:47 AM
Sexually speaking? Heck, I saw someone post "being with a woman would be gross for me" just today. I'm not offended; people are allowed to like/be attracted to whatever works for them.

(It's a little childish and not polite to express it in terms of "yuck!", but I don't think sexual preferences = bigotry. In fact, rather the opposite - if I expect people to respect my preferences, I have to respect theirs.)

  Agreed.  I get a weird bad feeling in my gut and kinda cringe at the thought of me trying to be sexual with a man or visualizing gay male relationships, but I don't hate anyone for their preferences and I don't talk about it much.  I think I'd only draw the line at fetishes for legit (rather than role-played) rape, torture or murder.  Perhaps on that we can all agree.  (And move on.)

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