For the time being, I'm going by Luca. It has a meaning to me, and I chose it before realizing I was transgender (just one of those many clues I repressed). I chose it partly because it's a man's name in most countries, but people in my country (US) have been using it as a girl's name. In that sense, it can go both ways.

I chose this name for my online identity, though, and now that I'm faced with giving it to people in daily life...it's hard. I feel weird telling people my name is "Luca" in my vlog.

I was thinking about using the name "Lucas" for myself instead. It's more common and sounds less weird, but is without a doubt a male name, and I look obviously female at the moment. Even so, while talking to myself, it's easier to say "I'm Lucas" than "I'm Luca". I thought it could be a funny gender->-bleeped-<- sort of thing. Anyway, I'm an artist, and there are other female artists I like who work under male names for that sort of effect.

So let me put this in bullet points for you:

LUCA
Pros:
-gender-ambiguous, it can pass as my real name no matter how I look
-has meaning to me
Cons:
-feels weird to say
-not a common name, does it sound like I named myself?

LUCAS
Pros:
-close enough to Luca that it still has meaning
-sounds common and normal, shouldn't raise any eyebrows IF I pass as male
Cons:
-male-only name, obviously not my real name so long as I look female
-doesn't sound as good with all my surname options because it ends on a consonant

So what are your thoughts? This isn't tearing me up, I'm just playing around with both names. Thanks for reading

Well, I like Luca-it's better to be different than to be dull in my opinion.  I choose a plain name the first time around and changed it again to Sasha because I was dissatisfied with something so normal.

luca isn't that weird. sounds like a real name to me.
maybe the weird part of it is calling yourself the same offline as online?

i use taka with my online friends, even when talking on skype.
doesn't feel weird t me at all, but can't be used as a name where i live. doesn't fit in with the language.

you're lucky if you can actually use a name that you identify strongly with.

Do you live on the 2nd floor?

I might be the first one who asked it, but if you do choose Luca, I won't be the last...

It's a fine name, I like it, just be sure to listen to My Name is Luka by Suzanne Vega in case you are too young to know why I'm asking that.

The thing with names is it's nice to have meaning, but you also have to be comfortable using it. Maybe you could use Luca as a middle name as it has meaning to you, but find something that fits you better and you feel comfortable using day to day. I ended up keeping the gender neutral version of my dead name, but have it as a middle name and not my given as it just didn't feel like it fitted properly, but at the same time I wanted to acknowledge where I'd come from.

I'd go with Luca. Here's why:

I was assigned a feminine name at birth. I shortened it to a male-sounding neutral-spelled name (ugh I'd totally tell you but this is the inter webs and no  )

For the first couple weeks I used my new name, it felt awkward and forced and just altogether uncomfortable when people said it. By the end of month two, it was less awkward. By the end of month three, it was officially the best decision I'd ever made.

I went somewhere the other day, and, upon realizing that I was dfab, the front desk lady said, "Oh, well, what's your given name? This must be shortened." (I recently legally changed it to my new name) - people might ask this question. Then they move on, accepting that okay, your parents are a little weird for naming you that and, hey, who cares about a name, right? If you choose Luca, this is slightly likely to happen when you're presenting as either gender. When you choose Lucas, this is extensively likely to happen until people can automatically grasp the fact that you're a guy. Thing is, the people who notice "Lucas" pre-transition are going to do more intense eyebrow-raising than the people who see you as "Luca" in whatever gender. The people who are raising eyebrows at "Luca" are probably not going to have strong feelings about it because it's a lot more neutral, and exactly like you said, it's often a male name in other countries. You have an easy out of "oh, it's a [m/f] name in [x country]" if you need that option.

In terms of naming yourself, no one would ever name their child North West. Well, look, someone did. You just have some uber cool parents who happened to like a foreign name.

Make sure your entire name sounds good. If you don't like the way Lucas sounds with your surname, that's a huge thing. 

Remember, too, you can always have middle a middle name that goes with one or the other. So if you're going with Luca, and you want it to be more masculine, add a "Bryce" or a "Liam" or a "Felix" in there to put on documents or in email signatures or letters.

Good luck with everything! Hope you find a name that's right. 

Oh wow, I...can't believe I never saw a bunch of these replies! I must have started this thread when I was still a susan's n00b and lost track of it.

Thank you all so much. Here's an ETA (after some replies).

Quote from: Taka on September 09, 2014, 01:35:42 AM
luca isn't that weird. sounds like a real name to me.
maybe the weird part of it is calling yourself the same offline as online?

i use taka with my online friends, even when talking on skype.
doesn't feel weird t me at all, but can't be used as a name where i live. doesn't fit in with the language.

you're lucky if you can actually use a name that you identify strongly with.

Sadly, my recently retired nickname is like that. I go by it online and offline, and even in my own head. It has a strong meaning to me and has been hard to let go of. However, it's not a real name, and has an obvious otaku vibe to it, which I wanted to be rid of to avoid bad first impressions with new people. *shrug* oh well.

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on September 09, 2014, 11:34:10 PM
Do you live on the 2nd floor?

I might be the first one who asked it, but if you do choose Luca, I won't be the last...

Ugh. Yes. I thought of that. I already get that crap with my birth name. (Which I also happen to like, but is very female.)

So here's the actual ETA, and the reason I'm reviving this thread. Now I'm FTM instead of non-binary. And I still feel totally awkward introducing myself as "Luca" in my videos, after about 2 months of making them. It's not happening. I love my pseudonym and it suits me for my online and creative work, but it's just not happening as a real-world name.

I'm going to an FTM group for the first time this friday, and I'm trying to make up my mind quickly. Stay consistent, or pick a name that suits me better and start confusing everyone by using two similar names in different spaces?

Veronica's argument is also very convincing, seeing as I already put up with being serenaded with a certain Police song every time I introduce myself. To be rid of that forever...I'd never considered that such a wonderful thing could happen.

Luca reads as decidedly male to me, but I've always been interested in etymology, so that definitely may not be true of everyone. Could you maybe play with Lucas as a legal name, Luca as a nickname? Although, if it sounds nasty with your surname, I agree that maybe you ought to consider Luca/s in the middle.

I advise being relatively self-consistent between your name and the name you use at the FTM group (if just because doing so has been SUCH a relief for me), but I also wouldn't find it weird if you were to change your name after meeting the group. People are gonna get it. Names are tough.

Luca is a lovely name,and is cool too!

Quote from: captains on November 05, 2014, 02:36:28 AMCould you maybe play with Lucas as a legal name, Luca as a nickname? Although, if it sounds nasty with your surname, I agree that maybe you ought to consider Luca/s in the middle.

I didn't mention this in my update, but since creating this thread, I've come up with a full legal name that would work well with "Lucas." So now, the surname isn't an issue anymore.

I think I've got my solution. I'll use Luca only as part of my creative name (on my blogs, art, and fiction), and Lucas everywhere else. Thanks for all your help, I really appreciate it! Luca seems to have been the popular vote, but even though I didn't choose it as my trans name, I have settled on a way to work both into my life

Some more thoughts on names.  You have gotten me pondering Jason.  Again I do not believe there are correct answers, just ones that work, here is a conversation regarding choices.

Peace.
Julie