How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?

Did it make you bitter?  A fighter?  An alcoholic or addict?  An overcomer?

Did it jade your religioun?  Bring you to a stronger place in this?

Did it destroy your mind?

Did it make you hide yourself?

Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?

Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?

Did it make you political?  Wanting to change the world?

Did it make you angry?

Did it change the core of who you are??

My thoughts will come later.

For the good of trans.

SJ Satinjoy, this came from core.

Being trans hasn't changed me, it has merely pulled the wool away from my eyes to my true identity.

* It made me more outgoing. I always knew there was a part of me I was holding back.
* Gave me more excitement for life.
* I'm now fascinated by gender and what shapes it.
* I want to use some of my time to help make it easier for trans people to get what they need.
* I'm more natural in social situations.
* It appears to have destroyed all romantic possibilities. I'm frustrated about that.
* Now everyone knows I'm "different". Before, everyone assumed I was very conventional.

Yikes, I took the question the wrong way. The subtle changes in my personality via transitioning...

I changed from quiet, withdrawn to more social and assertive.

I changed from self-harming, binge-drinking, risky sexual behaviors to a place of emotional stability - I am forever grateful for my psychiatrist helping me with this step.

I learned that my sexual orientation has changed little to none - was asexual before, still asexual now and I don't mind this!

It has made me want to spread awareness of non-binary, transgender and asexuality - highly thinking of doing YouTube videos!

I can be loved as who I am - had a few instances where people were interested in me romantically despite knowing I was trans. Unfortunately, I'm indifferent in the romance and sex department!

I suppressed the female self along with the feminine traits - that has changed and thank goodness because a weight lifted off my shoulders. If I had kept powering on ahead towards a binary male transition, I fear there would be whiplash once Jay swam her way to the surface.

I used to be bitter in the beginning but not anymore.

I was never a huge believer in religion but reading up on Hindu deities, there are a few that touch on androgyny or being "half male, half female" and I think it is absolutely beautiful.   

Well I enjoy the physical experience of being me... Unfortunately transitioning didn't cure all my mental health issues, the BPD and major depressive disorder are here for life. However I did come to an understanding that they are an extra burden I have to carry and now I know them I can cope with them a bit better.

It made me more open to other people's experiences and their differences which in turn has radically influenced my politics.

It's hard to say what else has changed, people are constantly transitioning from one state to another without even going into being trans, you're obviously the same person that you always were, but at the same time that person is in a constant state of flux and change, being tempered by their experiences. All I know is that I don't regret anything.

I hope y'all don't mind me infiltrating the non-binary section, but you seem to have far more interesting discussions over here, and I've wanted to post in one of SJ's threads for forever.

QuoteHow has being trans changed you, changed who you are?

It's probably impossible for me to answer this question in a broad sense, as I have no way of knowing what my life would have otherwise been like. Maybe it would have been better had I been born a cis person, maybe worse. At this point, I'm inclined to believe the insight, experiences and people I've met because of being trans have given me an overall better life than I would have otherwise led, however.

QuoteDid it make you bitter?  A fighter?  An alcoholic or addict?  An overcomer?

I spent many years feeling bitter, suppressing who I was inside. I was... very not fun to be around. I had no friends and my relationships with family members suffered greatly.

It didn't make me an addict, but it probably did make me stronger.

QuoteDid it jade your religioun?  Bring you to a stronger place in this?

It didn't affect my (lack of) religion. I never had that to begin with, and it didn't make me more inclined to believe in one.

QuoteDid it destroy your mind?

Suppressing it went quite a long ways towards "destroying my mind," yes. I grew into an extremely maladjusted person. 

QuoteDid it make you hide yourself?

Yep. Not only did it make me hide who I really was, I tried to "overcompensate" for it, too. I intentionally did things and acted in a way that was contrary to how I felt, just so I could fit in and no one would find out my secret.

QuoteDid it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?

It does feel like I wasted so many years living a life that wasn't mine, but I'm just thankful I'm happy now. For once. It's a pretty amazing feeling, and I know it's only going to get better as I progress in my transition.

QuoteDid it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?

Definitely. Being transgender, as well as some of the people I've met in the trans community, have been directly responsible for making me a much, much, much more compassionate, understanding, nurturing person. I love helping people when I can.

QuoteDid it make you political?  Wanting to change the world?

Politics isn't for me. I'm more of a "change the world by helping one person at a time" kind of person than an activist.

QuoteDid it make you angry?

Besides the aforementioned anger caused by having to hide myself, I suppose there was also some degree of anger when I finally accepted it. Anger that other girls were just born with what I had to work so hard to achieve. But, thankfully, that stage quickly passed.

QuoteDid it change the core of who you are??

Being trans probably affected most, if not all of my life, from a very early age. In the end, I do believe it changed me for the better.

I decided to answer the questions instead of just writing my own thoughts down, free form, as it's such a broad topic, I needed something to help structure me.

Thank you, SJ, for another great, thought-provoking thread.

I don't think it changed me at all. I am the person I have ever been.

I'm stronger, happier and very political.

I really enjoy my sexuality, I enjoy being me.

I'm happy.

Tonight I'm tired and angry, but in a good way.

There is no going back, there is only the future and I'm ready to embrace it.

Goddess I wish I had done this 40 years ago.

Its made me "more me" in a lot of ways, since I've begun to accept the part of me that's always been repressed by fear, peer pressure, risk of loosing people around me.. I'm not bitter, just wishful I could have been inspired sooner to face these feelings, and feel assured I'd be accepted as I am.. Without this forum and wonderful family here I never could have ever even considered these things, and would still be in hiding...

I was an alcoholic for many years, and now I see it was from being so out of place, and unhappy with the person I was.. Now I don't drink, not for 2 years, triggered from finding out I have liver disease, but also I feel no urge to drink anymore, since I've been figuring out who I really am, and honestly am quite pleased with myself, even though still hesitant and unsure about talking about the core being I've discovered within me..

Yes, my religious beliefs have been jaded, but strengthened also.. I can no longer be in a church that oppresses or condems gay or trans people, I just have no stomach to listen to that rubbish and lies any longer.. There are many churches now affirming and accepting of lgbt members, and those churches strengthen me and give me hope..

The CIS part of me, or true male, seems to be my other parts protector, like a big brother inside myself, there to defend my gentler self inside.. Yes I also hide too, but not as much as before...

Yes its made me tons more understanding and compassionate to others.. I mean I'm amazed, I understand you now, and understand me better.. No longer do I have to rely on opinions, statistics or what anyone else says, I know you now, I know the truth, and I love with all my heart my trans family, and myself as I find more and more in common each day.. I'm so happy, now I don't have to refer to the trans community as "they" or "them", now I can really say " us" and "we"... For some reason that just makes me smile ear to ear..

I don't really feel like I want to change the world, because I can't..? But changing how people think, just one person at a time, can and will change the world, that's what I try and do.. Not very well though I must admit..

So that's some of my thoughts..

Will more here share too..?

Looking forward to reading your comments SJ...


Happiness and care to all..

It makes me me feel in very different ways. But mostly, I think I am a better person. More in tune with other people's suffering, more empathetic, more sensitive to people's pain. My mom thinks I'm completely delusional and doesn't want to lose her "sweet boy", but what she doesn't understand is that being trans has shaped that way I am since I exist.

Being trans and accepting it, allowed my life to begin.

How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?

It definitely made me more accepting of myself when I realised I had a female side.  Despite the initial stress that arose from any confusion I felt, the realisation helped alleviate a lot of my anxiety.  Over time, my sexuality changed too.  I immediately embraced all changes to my gender identity and sexuality.

Did it make you bitter?  A fighter?  An alcoholic or addict?  An overcomer?

Only a fighter, but I pick my battles wisely.

Did it jade your religion?  Bring you to a stronger place in this?

This doesn't apply to me as I'm not religious.  I don't think I can answer this even hypothetically.

Did it destroy your mind?

Definitely not.  My mental state has improved dramatically over the past several months but there are many compounding factors to that.

Did it make you hide yourself?

I only learned what "it" was recently and just went with it.

Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?

When I discovered what "it" was, I was hit by a wave of feelings.  They became so strong at one point that I actually resented not being female, but I didn't hate being male.  Those feelings suddenly went away one day.  I haven't felt that strongly since and I don't think I ever will, though trans feelings arise intermittently.  It's a blessing that I get to present as either male or female.

Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?

No, learning to empathise with others was an entirely separate process for me, as was gaining mental stability (though realising I'm transgender did help improve my mental state).

Did it make you political?  Wanting to change the world?

No, and I've always been in an ongoing process evaluating my views and opinions and forming new ones.

Did it make you angry?

No.  The initial gender confusion was mildly stressful at first, but I never had a problem with being transgender.

Did it change the core of who you are??

Definitely not.  I have the same basic personality whether I'm James or Kimberley.

Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
It changed me 180 degrees from the terrible person I was.

Did it make you bitter?  A fighter?  An alcoholic or addict?  An overcomer?
It freed my heart and soul and gave me a freedom I never had. The freedom to just be me with no expectations of the public or status to live up to. I am simply me now.

Did it jade your religioun?  Bring you to a stronger place in this?
It gave me a clarity to see the hypocrisy involved in religion and how you are only accepted if you assimilate and be "normal". I still believe in G-D, maybe so more now than before because I now see his love versus man's view of it. I could not transition without G-D.

Did it destroy your mind?
It cleared and freed my mind and gave me peace and serenity.

Did it make you hide yourself?
I am more visual and out in the public than before. I love to get out and about now. I hid way more of myself pre transition.

Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
Quite honestly it made me love the other part of me for protecting me all those dark years. After all "he" took for me I hope his rest is peaceful and relaxing. I found I really love him for what he did for me and remember him fondly. I do not hate the cis component to him, I want to date  him!!

Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
You tell me! *giggles*

Did it make you political?  Wanting to change the world?
The terrible denial of basic medical services, YES. I don't want to change the world, just let it know we are here and deserve to exist like they do.

Did it make you angry?
Quite the opposite. I have genuine true love for others now. I no longer want to see them turned to ash with a nuke.

Did it change the core of who you are??
I don't think it changed it as much as just let it out. It just allows me to be a true and accurate person with what is reflected in my heart. I no longer feel the constant need to protect myself all the time now.

Quote from: LordKAT on September 13, 2014, 04:34:56 AM
I don't think it changed me at all. I am the person I have ever been.

Agree with Kat here. I'm always who I was except that the world is a brighter place for me now that I see my way out of the woods.

I have to say mentally I haven't changed. (far as I can tell..) But having lost lots of weight and seeing myself turn from fat man into thinner more fem woman I can say I like myself more than ever! The only real changes have been those around me family, friends, and coworkers. To say the least, their still changing...

Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?

SJ Satinjoy, this came from core.

At the core (morals, ethics, integrity), I am who I always have been. My philosophical beliefs have evolved hand in hand with  my education and life experiences

Perhaps in my case, I can ask how have I change since I dropped the assumed/forced male role? (e.g. transitioned)

Well, at the core very little... I am more happy but more fearful and unsure about my future.... in all honesty

I have this really cute bubble butt now. LOL

I'm the same person with the same interests, but I'm just glad I don't have to act like someone I'm really not anymore.  I am at peace with myself and have a renewed outlook on life.  I take time to smell the flowers now.  I smile a lot, where I almost never did before.

And what up with baby animals?  I mean, turbo squee!!!

I just wanted to ask this question to clarify. Do you define trans as the people who have already started transition or are you emcompassing everyone who identifies as trans, whether they are pre-HRT or on HRT? Cuz if it's the latter, then it's something I have been my whole life and wouldn't kno what it's like not to be it. After all, I see life through my eyes and unique perspective. I have been feminine both in manneirisms and voice since very young, and I have to go through a lot due to it, and definitely has made me a better person. But if you're talking about HRT and SRS, I guess I don't know. I guess I'll change in ways I can't predict right now.

Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
Ok I'll play. No it has not changed me in the least internally, my physiology has changed somewhat.

Did it make you bitter?  A fighter?  An alcoholic or addict?  An overcomer? No not at all bitter, I was a fighter and an overcomer all along as well as a maintenance level alcoholic like so many others.

Did it jade your religioun?  Bring you to a stronger place in this? No, if anything a stronger believer, I'm in no way religious.

Did it destroy your mind? More like expanded my mind and changed some of my preconceived notions.

Did it make you hide yourself? Not this kid!

Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one? No and I don't understand that sort of thing.

Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good? I think so.

Did it make you political?  Wanting to change the world? Nope, waste of time and my life's energy, it isn't going to happen until human nature changes when Christ returns.

Did it make you angry? Only at the whiners and the poor me snivelers. I have zero tolerance for drama and BS.

Did it change the core of who you are?? Not wanting to be irreligious, but I am who I am and am a forever unchanging persona.

How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?

Did it make you bitter?  A fighter?  An alcoholic or addict?  An overcomer?

* Yes, being trans aided in me being bitter.  It makes me feel like a fighter, but in reality, I doubt that I am.  I'm sure being trans aided in making me addicted to food and maybe even video games.  An overcomer?  It sounds nice on paper, but in reality, I doubt that it has made me be an overcomer.

Did it jade your religioun?  Bring you to a stronger place in this?

* It did in the beginning, but now I find my that faith is stronger than ever.

Did it destroy your mind?

* Yes, it did.

Did it make you hide yourself?

* Yes, and I'm still hiding to most.

Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?

* I'm not quite sure what you mean by my other component, but as far as cis people are concerned, I will say that I do have my personal issues I need to work out concerning that.  I don't want to elaborate about it in public as not to offend anyone.

Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good? 

*Sort of.....I think my faith had something to do with that too, especially considering romantic relationships.  In general, I don't consider myself a powerful weapon for good....I'm more like a burden and a liability.

Did it make you political?  Wanting to change the world?

* No.  I take Shantel's position on that.  This world is only going to get worse in my opinion.

Did it make you angry?

* Yes

Did it change the core of who you are??

That's hard to say.  I think my faith did that more, but I do think being trans had a huge part to play it in.