I have my consultation with Dr Mcginn in three weeks for bottom surgery. As the day approaches I'm getting more and more nervous. My mind has so many emotions and in all honesty I'm scared, I'm terrified. I know what I will go through and that I will recover and finally be comfortable. Just the experiences I hear seem so daunting. It is really hitting me that I need to work on myself so that I can handle going through recover and all of the emotions. It just seems so daunting though. It just gets more real as the days tick by and dam I can't believe it's actually happening!

I am scared, but excited as well. Is it me or do the dilators in pictures get bigger each day SRS approaches? 

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on September 16, 2014, 11:58:49 AM
I am scared, but excited as well. Is it me or do the dilators in pictures get bigger each day SRS approaches? 

No they really are that big. Lol

It's all manageable post if you do what you are told by your surgeon and have a GP or Gyn that is not scared of a neo vagina.

Just a walk up a mt. But there is the walk back down the other side.

It's all good.
Hugs

One month post-op (GRS & BA), I found surgery and the last few weeks far easier than I ever imagined. I was off all pain killers after only 5 days and so far, recovery has been totally trouble free.
However....the amount of time I spend dilating and doing breast massages is already becoming a real chore (easily 4 to 4.5 hours a day) and that for me is the biggest challenge with this surgery.  Post surgery care really dominates your existance for 2 to 3 months meaning you have to organise everything else around it. It's doable of course but you do need to understand how heavy that side of things can be.
Otherwise, it has been a totally positive experience getting me to a better place than I have ever been so far in my life.
Wishing you all the best!
Donna

Quote from: Donna E on September 16, 2014, 12:59:58 PM
One month post-op (GRS & BA), I found surgery and the last few weeks far easier than I ever imagined. I was off all pain killers after only 5 days and so far, recovery has been totally trouble free.
However....the amount of time I spend dilating and doing breast massages is already becoming a real chore (easily 4 to 4.5 hours a day) and that for me is the biggest challenge with this surgery.  Post surgery care really dominates your existance for 2 to 3 months meaning you have to organise everything else around it. It's doable of course but you do need to understand how heavy that side of things can be.
Otherwise, it has been a totally positive experience getting me to a better place than I have ever been so far in my life.
Wishing you all the best!
Donna

That and the pain is what I'm super nervous about but I know it is the right decision. I've been wanting it my whole life and I'm not going to turn around because of nerves

Good luck!!

I'll be honest, the first couple weeks were tough, although it was as much exhaustion and and being physically drained as anything else. However, my aftercare regimen only ate my life for the first month or so, and you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. (I think McGinn requires a bit more dilation, so of course my experience was different than yours will be, but still.)

If it helps, I was never in severe pain, or at least the pain was well-managed enough that I never minded it. On that traditional 1-10 scale, I'd say the pain from the actual surgery never exceeded a 4, and I only took the heavy-duty painkillers for the first two days; I was using Tylenol in normal doses by day 3 and nothing at all by the time I went home a week later. (I had an unrelated, uncommon issue with bladder spasms that meant I needed oxycodone for days 4-7, but the actual unmedicated GRS pain was maybe a 2 by then. I might well have been able to quit all painkillers sooner if not for that.) It wasn't *fun,* but it was tolerable, and the same was true for the couple dozen women I met while I was there.

You'll do fine. In fact, this waiting period is often the hardest; once it's done, you're too busy to worry!

(And the dilators... hee. Even my wife was scared the first time she laid eyes on them! [I was still too naive to realize how big was "really big," so she also snickered at me.])

Quote from: Jenna Marie on September 17, 2014, 09:14:45 AM
Good luck!!

I'll be honest, the first couple weeks were tough, although it was as much exhaustion and and being physically drained as anything else. However, my aftercare regimen only ate my life for the first month or so, and you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. (I think McGinn requires a bit more dilation, so of course my experience was different than yours will be, but still.)

If it helps, I was never in severe pain, or at least the pain was well-managed enough that I never minded it. On that traditional 1-10 scale, I'd say the pain from the actual surgery never exceeded a 4, and I only took the heavy-duty painkillers for the first two days; I was using Tylenol in normal doses by day 3 and nothing at all by the time I went home a week later. (I had an unrelated, uncommon issue with bladder spasms that meant I needed oxycodone for days 4-7, but the actual unmedicated GRS pain was maybe a 2 by then. I might well have been able to quit all painkillers sooner if not for that.) It wasn't *fun,* but it was tolerable, and the same was true for the couple dozen women I met while I was there.

You'll do fine. In fact, this waiting period is often the hardest; once it's done, you're too busy to worry!

(And the dilators... hee. Even my wife was scared the first time she laid eyes on them! [I was still too naive to realize how big was "really big," so she also snickered at me.])

It feels even worse than signing up for Ironman lol. Another question is how did it look when you started dilating? I'm rather squeamish and the stories I hear make me a little queasy

When I started dilating specifically?  Pretty good, actually; my vulva was really swollen and therefore ridiculously huge, and there were some visible stitches, but I was lucky enough not to get the "raw hamburger" look. (Unless you mean what the dilators looked like afterward, etc.? A little blood and lube, nothing major, both on them and on me.)

I'm afraid it's going to just look like an open would at first

Riley : Oh, no, not at all. The absolute *worst* is that it looks like a clean, stitched wound... and that phase passes quickly.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on September 17, 2014, 12:48:40 PM
Riley : Oh, no, not at all. The absolute *worst* is that it looks like a clean, stitched wound... and that phase passes quickly.

Thank you, I'm super nervous and am scared of the most ridiculous things lol

Riley : That's normal, I think! I was afraid of a whole bunch of stuff, serious to silly, as the date got closer...

May I ask who you went to and how are your results?

I used Brassard, a bit over 2 years ago now, and the results are fantastic - I was sensate from day 1 and orgasmic in my sleep at 3 weeks post-op, a gynecologist thought I was cis, and depth is adequate (that's in order of my priorities there ). It took close to those two years to truly get the final result due to swelling, though, and there were a lot of times in the meantime where I wondered if this was really going to turn out well. Try not to panic the first few days, especially, because while you can often see/feel the shadow of the ultimate result, you'll have no solid idea of what it'll look or work like for months at least.

Some people have it easy - some harder. And there will be episodes where you bleed and think why did I do all this. The anxiety is natural, but it is probably better to have a local support group planned if you feel this is likely to be a problem. This can be a partner family member or friends who can pop by if you are feeling down.

But you will have to learn how to manage your body - nobody else can. That's why it is important to understand that this is a long haul project...

Good luck and it is an amazing experience

I have a feeling that the first couple months will be really rough and emotionally draining. I know I will be happy once I get over that.