A big hello to you all. After recently finding Susan's place I finally plucked up the courage to come and join everyone on here.

So how would I categorize myself at the present moment, I think tg/tv is probably most apt. Or another way to put it is the girl inside is fighting stronger every day to come out but there is a boy inside her that also wants to come out!. Confused?. Yes so am I....... as I have been most my life. Lol.

I am a very very young 44 years of age, and have a fabulous caring understanding and compassionate wife who lovingly appreciates me and guides me for who I am........ I have three wonderful daughters 12, 11 and 10 whom are still blissfully unaware of the trials and tribulations that life through puberty and adulthood might possibly throw at them.

So as with many others on here the realization that I was different/special/lucky occured very early in life, from waiting for my family to go out to go snooping and dressing in my sister's room, through to the acceptance of the fact that I couldn't no matter how much I tried to suppress it I was a crossdresser.

Crossdresser I thought anyway............ As age progresses the realization that mabee there is a little more to it than I thought, impulses to live as a woman pounded inside me only for myself to fight it every step of the way. First came the excuses then the anti depressants............

Anti depressants prescribed to this day cleared the mumble jumble and negativity going on in my head and to be honest without them I would not have opened up to my wife or even be here talking to you all now.

Hormones with the wife's knowledge for three months brought out the real woman in me only for boy inside the girl halt things when things below stopped working completely. As i said earlier it's all very confusing. I want the best of both worlds.

So there you go a small snippet of me. Apologies for the grammar, English was never my best subject.

Any questions and I would love to answer.


Ps I have no regrets and love my weird and wonderful life.


Go well all with love.


Scarlett

A big warm welcome to the family Scarlett! You are right, 44 is not too old at all. I started myself at 47 and my avatar is one years progress. You should have seen the before photo <shivers>. Anyway it is so nice you have the support of your SO and don't worry about the kids too much as they are amazingly resilient. I lost my 16 1/2 year old daughter, but my son 15 1/2 stayed with me and has been my rock of support and acceptance. On HRT you will have to have a talk with them soon though. Anything we can do to help you or your SO just ask. We do have a special forum for SOs so get her involved as well if she needs support also. 

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Hi Scarlet. 

Greetings and welcome..!

You've found a great place to share your story, and get support... Everyone here is really wonderful..! You'll see.. 

It's nice to meet you,
Mark

Welcome

Susan's is a great place and you'll find a lot of support.

I am also 44 and started my journey seriously about 10 months ago. wow. How things can change. I had identified as pan-gender or gender-fluid but once I started truly letting myself be who I am the male in me emerged. I generally identify as male but I have come to realize I will always have a female side. Don't worry about trying to fit yourself in a box. Instead embrace the opportunity to be who you are

Welcome Scarlett

It look like you are well on your way and blessed with a supportive SO.  Many of us have similar experiences and look forward to sharing thoughts, information and support as we travel

Aisla

Welcome to Susan's, Scarlett!