ever just not want to put the effort in ? putting the makeup on..putting the clothing on...it's a lot of effort and sometimes i just feel like it's not worth it..which gets me depressed...

Ok sweetie, tell me more. What is going on today with you. 

i don`t know...i see a long road ahead of money and time being spent..i don`t even have wig  yet

Baby, we have all been here and I know how bleak it can look when you are just starting out. You will get there though and I truly believe that. I thought HRT would never start myself, but it did get there and now I am only 4 months from being eligible for SRS. My letters are done and the therapist is just waiting for the one year RLE to be over. It seems like time drags at first, but with each step (therapy, HRT, etc.) speed picks up until you can't believe how far you have progressed. The reason we are all here is to help you through the slow times when you think nothing is happening. Use us anytime you need to and PM me if you need a more private talk. It is no bother at all. We will get you through this girl, so hang in there and trust us to be here when you need us, OK? 

Thanks Jessica ..

needed a big sister confidence boost !

Quote from: suzannemarie on September 22, 2014, 02:42:41 AM
Thanks Jessica ..

needed a big sister confidence boost !

You contact me whenever you need to sugar. No one goes it alone here especially my sister! Your dreams WILL come true! 

Now, start drooling over the clothes, shoes and makeup girl!! 

Quote from: suzannemarie on September 22, 2014, 02:27:22 AM
ever just not want to put the effort in ? putting the makeup on..putting the clothing on...it's a lot of effort and sometimes i just feel like it's not worth it..which gets me depressed...

Hi Suzzan!
Well... not so easy to tell why we feel sad from time to time... but here in Brazil, the number of people who contact me see something in common: loneliness   .

I do not know in detail for the existing structure Crosses in the USA, but here I see a great degree of isolation between us... there are few people who have a "real" contact for friendship... most are by virtual means (and -mail, facebook, etc ...) and thus we can not express ourselves, talk and expose our expectations and difficulties  ...

I do not know how many other Crosses you know or have contact personally... but if a reduced or absent nr, sure, your sadness is similar to what many of us experience when we have distant friends  ...

You are right about the length of the road for many of us, but like every journey it's best to simply take it one step at a time.  Be prepared for the occasional (well, sometimes more than occasional) one step forward two steps back routine.  The foundation you thought would be best isn't quite right for your skin tone.  The clothes you thought would fit perfectly, don't or don't quite.  The wig you thought would look sexy looks silly.  I could go on and on.  There is a learning curve for this journey and while doing your homework (reading, watching videos, joining discussions groups, etc.) is important, it won't shield you from making errors in judgment.  Trial and error is messy, but it does work.  Be patient with yourself!  Be kind to yourself!  This is a marathon, not a mad dash.  Be well and be happy. 

I say just take your time and it will all come together when the time is right. Every day for me are baby steps and I will eventually get to my goal of dressing in public. I belonged to one forum and they know I have a beard because of anything in the male world that I enjoy the most its having my beard (I know thats crazy right, wanting to be a woman so badly but keeping the beard) and I have decided that I am not going to shave my beard until I am confortable dressing up in public and I am not sure how far away that is. I do know that I need to save up for a wig and some breast forms and a bra and then I will shave once that is done. I am about 2 hours from Denver and I want to pick a really big mall to go dress up in because in my area there are no places where I can dress up in. I also want to go to a few transgender meetings and meet some other girls like myself and then go out in public with them and we can boost each others confidence about it as well, that would be great.

Don't get frustrated, keep at it and it will all come together.

When I started many years ago it did feel like a waste of effort for two reasons :

1. I didn't do it very often so my technique was pretty bad and I was never satisfied
2. Once I was all dressed all I would do is sit in the house for an hour or two, take some pics, then get it all off

This put me off for many years and I only picked it up again within the last couple (I'm now 33)

Then I started practising more, I devoured online resources to find the quickest ways to get ready and just kept at it. The real breakthrough came when I started going out, because suddenly it was not this big effort with an anti-climax; there was finally a "point" to it (not that I am suggesting dressing indoors is pointless.) Having great makeup remover / cloths made the finish-up less depressing.

The socialising element, the excitement of being out and seeing friends, made the chore of dressing seem simply like a small inconvenience and more of a worthwhile investment of my time.

Quote from: suzannemarie on September 22, 2014, 02:27:22 AM
ever just not want to put the effort in ? putting the makeup on..putting the clothing on...it's a lot of effort and sometimes i just feel like it's not worth it..which gets me depressed...

That was one thing my mom was telling me is a ll the trouble that's involved with makeup and clothes, but we have to stand tall and be who we are!  [/size][/color]

Quote from: amyd on October 28, 2014, 12:24:18 PM
When I started many years ago it did feel like a waste of effort for two reasons :

1. I didn't do it very often so my technique was pretty bad and I was never satisfied
2. Once I was all dressed all I would do is sit in the house for an hour or two, take some pics, then get it all off

This put me off for many years and I only picked it up again within the last couple (I'm now 33)

Then I started practising more, I devoured online resources to find the quickest ways to get ready and just kept at it. The real breakthrough came when I started going out, because suddenly it was not this big effort with an anti-climax; there was finally a "point" to it (not that I am suggesting dressing indoors is pointless.) Having great makeup remover / cloths made the finish-up less depressing.

The socialising element, the excitement of being out and seeing friends, made the chore of dressing seem simply like a small inconvenience and more of a worthwhile investment of my time.

Sounds a lot like me!  Have found I want to be seen more and more as a woman and not just "dress."  Yes, it is a lot of work but I see that as part of the process and in reality the fun of it...takes time for a girl to do her makeup too!  I haven't been out socializing yet but want to very badly!