Hey everyone,
I just found this website/forum the other day in my search of more resources and people similar like me, and was so happy to see that this community here is so big and full of (recent) activity.
My name is Tal, which is my birthname and fortunately genderneutral, and I identify as genderqueer. Or well.. this label seems to apply the most to me right now, but really I am just at the beginning of finding out how to define what I am experiencing and feeling and what I am the most comfortable and happy with. I was born a female and after many many years of keeping all thoughts and worries and frustration caused by dysphoria and confusion about my "real" gender to myself.... Not any longer though. Recently (2 days ago) I came out to my boyfriend (a cisgendered straight male). Right now he is the only one who knows about it. His reactions have been mixed so far... He has been understanding and sweet, but at the same time has been freaking out, saying stuff like "every cell in my body tells me to run" and repeating that he has no idea if he can deal with this. So you can probably understand that after coming out relieve was not the only feeling I experienced, but also an anxiety and a lot of new worries that probably will remain for quite a while...
Anyways, I could go on a lot more about what is happening in our relationship and with me right now and what not, but I don't want to make this introduction too lengthy.
Just some general facts: I am 21 years old and originally from the Netherlands, but I have been living and working in Germany for 1,5 year right now. Even typing these things here (real name, age, location) frightens me and feels like another coming out. On the few occasions I have spoken to people before about this on the internet I remained completely anonymous out of, usually irrational, fears that someone I know would see it. But I feel like I can not deny these things about myself any longer, towards myself or the people around me.
So yeah. Baby steps. Looking forward to getting to know some more people here and finding some support and understanding.
