In many threads there is being spoken about going full-time, coming out of the closet, transitioning, insecurities of ones gender. Ask someone what they are, and they will tell the identity of which they feel most comfortable about but why don't many just name that they are transgender to make it all a bit easier?

As for me, I never thought I was born in the wrong body. I just got parts I dislike and my body is aging incorrectly. Anything I am changing now is something I didn't like in the past. I have always disliked my voice and now I can make it better. My chest felt off and now I know how to make it look more appealing to me. I wasn't a fan of boy clothes so now I wear feminine clothing. But each and every change I make feels as how everyone else would do it in any body born. Just as how a woman would get plastic surgery for her own insecurities. Or how a guy dives into fashion to wear clothes which suit him best. Even now that I am soon starting with hormones and I told everyone on Facebook I still do not see myself as transgender. I am me and I am just swapping genders.

While browsing trough the forums it always feels so heavy when many talk about transitioning. For some it is a life journey, for others a curse. For another a mystery and each and everyone is trying to figure themselves out.

So! My question! Is there anyone out there who literally just sails trough transitioning as if it is just casually happening? Other than not being accepted as easy in the outer world, this also happens to anyone else. Why does transition often come across as if it is the heaviest thing, depressions happen and the suicide rate is high? I want to understand but I really don't, that is why I am just putting the question out here =/.

Quote from: Kirey on September 23, 2014, 09:41:35 AM
As for me, I never thought I was born in the wrong body. I just got parts I dislike and my body is aging incorrectly. Anything I am changing now is something I didn't like in the past. I have always disliked my voice and now I can make it better. My chest felt off and now I know how to make it look more appealing to me. I wasn't a fan of boy clothes so now I wear feminine clothing. But each and every change I make feels as how everyone else would do it in any body born. Just as how a woman would get plastic surgery for her own insecurities. Or how a guy dives into fashion to wear clothes which suit him best.

What I'm seeing here is that you view these things as individual, independent parts.

I view these things for me as parts of a whole, meaningless by themselves. For me, the end goal is to shape myself into the gender that my mind tells me I am. For example, sure, a man can theoretically get breast implants, but that by itself just makes him a man with boobs, not a female. However, you add those to other things that together present as female and you have a female appearance. It's no wonder why transsexuals who want to pass go for little things that seem unimportant to most people.  These things together add to the overall picture.

QuoteEven now that I am soon starting with hormones and I told everyone on Facebook I still do not see myself as transgender. I am me and I am just swapping genders.

I'm trying to see the difference between the two. I thought that someone who had the desire to transition to another gender is by definition transgender. Ideally though I don't care for the label and that's what I think you're getting at. The only label I want is female. But you and I were born with typically male bodies, which we would like to change to typically female ones. There is of course nothing such as 100% male or female but we can align ourselves closer to each one.

Depression and suicide rate is high usually because of the lack of family acceptance. Most people that transition don't care as much about general public. We want to be accepted and respected, but if our lives were dictated by what society believes as a whole we wouldn't transition to begin with. And the lack of family acceptance that some of us face is usually because our family is misinformed by this misconception about transsexuals in the media today.

Quote from: Kirey on September 23, 2014, 09:41:35 AM
So! My question! Is there anyone out there who literally just sails trough transitioning as if it is just casually happening? Other than not being accepted as easy in the outer world, this also happens to anyone else. Why does transition often come across as if it is the heaviest thing, depressions happen and the suicide rate is high? I want to understand but I really don't, that is why I am just putting the question out here =/.

I don't exactly fit this description, but I certainly thought transition was much less of a big deal than the people around me. All kinds of dire predictions were made, very few of which came true.

There was an especially large amount of hyperbole attached to how this would affect my teenage daughter.

The most significant impact of transition is that it seems to have made me wholly unsuitable as a romantic partner in just about everyone's eyes but my own.

For whatever reason I have not really had any issues, so far transitioning has been smooth sailing.

Now before I started I had a good career, very liberal work place, my family was far enough away so they don't have to deal with any social fallout and I live in one of the most liberal cities in the world.

My family doctor proscribed HRT, no issues.
Came out everywhere including work, no issues just tons of support.
Me and my girlfriend are still together, she is my biggest supporter.
The local community has been really supportive.
None of my family rejected me, most are very supportive.

I've only had two minor incidents with people on the street which I'll attribute to there being one idiot out of every 10.000

Transgender is an umbrella term for any individual who does not identify or conform with the gender that corresponds to their assigned sex at birth.  Cisgender is the opposite.  Transsexual refers to someone who specifically identifies as a member of the opposite sex to what they were assigned at birth, and seeks to live and be accepted as a member of that sex (necessitating a transition).

I agree that a lot of the examples and rhetoric about being trans can be dour and cynical.  I believe it is mostly because some trans people face shame and lack of acceptance throughout their transition, and their example sticks out more.  Passing is a big deal to a lot of people, mostly because fitting in is hard enough without being transgender on top of everything else.  Significant others tend to have difficulty adjusting to their partner's transition, because their feelings might not change, but they aren't always bisexual in that case.

If you're curious about other people's experiences with being transgender, I highly recommend reading a memoir from a transgender author.  I have read a few, She's not there - a life in two genders by Jennifer Boylan is my recent favorite so far.  Media representations of transpeople have often been negatively slanted between tragic victim to sexual deviant.  But memoirs and autobiographies seem to contain much more positivity and hope than other mediums.  Not all transpeople will have the same experience as Calpernia Addams, but her's is an example of how awful people can be.

Quote from: Kirey on September 23, 2014, 09:41:35 AMI still do not see myself as transgender. I am me and I am just swapping genders.

I, too, don't see the difference. Don't get hung up on semantics.

QuoteSo! My question! Is there anyone out there who literally just sails trough transitioning as if it is just casually happening? Other than not being accepted as easy in the outer world, this also happens to anyone else. Why does transition often come across as if it is the heaviest thing, depressions happen and the suicide rate is high? I want to understand but I really don't, that is why I am just putting the question out here =/.

A far more mentally taxing thing for me in life is my disease which has given me far more suicidal ideation than transitioning ever has. I've been taking 2 years of hormones and still am not full time. I'd like to blame my colitis for that. I just take my pills every day and let the changes stack on.

I'm not sure what the question really is. I am transgender. I don't know any better words for my situation, and I'm willing to use whatever terms make sense and aren't hurtful. My transition might have been casual, but it would have to be a lot easier. Most people don't have the resources and support necessary to take transition in stride.

i don't have the resources to transition easily. it will take a whole lot of asking people i don't really know who are, and figuring out things, and considering going abroad, or dealing with a system which is anything but casual about this matter.

i still will not do anything i don't want to, and don't intend to let anyone tell me who i am. i will tell them.
transgender is just a convenient box i can give people for ease of explaining this stuff.
it's not the most uncomfortable one i've ever been inside. though i'm still a whole lot more of me than of transgender or any other label.

Transition has been a profound transformative experience. I am fundamentally different from three years past.  My perspective,  my reactions to people, places, and things, my very identity is new.  I have learned much, I have grown much, I am better for the experience.

There has been cost; doors have closed; doors have also opened.  I will continue to change in order to become more fully me. That is as it should be.  This has been existential in nature - all of you have participated,  all of you have changed me, all of you are mentors. Thank you.

Peace,
Julie

Like Felix I am not quite sure what the question is. I have had a relatively easy time of transition despite being a shrivelled old hag and almost feel a bit of a fraud after reading about the horrendous times other people have. However, I feel it is worth remembering that Susan's is a support site and as such is likely to attract people in need of support. Almost by definition that means you won't read stories of easy transitions on here too often as that isn't the site's main role.

That said it might be nice to have a "Don't worry, be happy" part of the site to share the positive stories. Just to help from the dark times seeming too inevitable or too unending.

Rosie

The question was me wondering if there are people who see transitioning as no big deal :p. I also would like a happy story section on the forum . I am happy with these forums and a place to be yourself to people who know what you (will) go trough. But I wouldn't mind a place where only is spoken about happy, up sides of transitioning.