(This topic was inspired by "Stuff Parents Say" topic)

If you don't mind sharing the lines that people (of any age) you see for the first time talking ignorantly behind your back as if you can't hear or even saying something directly to you.

With me, just recently:

I was at a flea market and had a MALE doll in my bag:
Little girl asks the adult woman(her grandmother?) Is that a boy or girl?
Woman answers: She has a doll so shes a girl.

(By the way, I was never interested in dolls until just recently)

"She looks like a boy! *whisperwhisper*" All of this behind my back at a line in McDonald's. Like.. directly behind me. I was tempted to give em the bird but realized they weren't worth my time.

Once in hospital a nurse next to my room told her other nurse friend , " he should stop believing he is a woman" , i think she didnt realize i was awake .

The only thing I have been asked is if I am a girl or a boy but it was only because my mom still refers to me as her daughter so my baby cousin would ask but she still refers to me as him, I pass 100% so I am pretty lucky I don't really get talked about by strangers especially since my haircut.

Me: *wearing my boyfriend's awesome Batman hoodie*
Guy on bus with his preschool-age son: *totally decked out in awesome Batman clothes*

Me: "You guys have some pretty cool taste in clothes!"
Batdad guy: *side-eye and suspicious glare* "Mhm" *turns away and avoids eye contact*

I used to get the "is that a boy or a girl" in school all the time.

I've gotten the are you a boy or girl twice recently. One today by a very young girl and once yesterday by a very old lady. The lady followed the question up a bit later with "are you in high school?" lol. I'm 44. And then "step closer so I can see you. I'm nearly blind" It just struck me as funny, I wasn't offended. My friend, the daughter of the old lady was not as amused.

The only time I got something like this was years ago, pre-T, in line at the servo.  A young couple behind me were like, "is that a girl or a dude?" and the other said, "don't know, it's hard to tell with people these days".  lol

I've gotten "Are you a boy or girl?" many times while working, and wearing my name tag that has my very male name on it (unless there's some female name that's shortened to Ben that I don't know about). Then again, these people also asked me if I worked there as I was stocking shelves, wearing a name tag, wearing a polo and decent slacks in the store colors, so.

My favorite gender questioning was from high school, before I even knew, when I was in the ladies' and these two girls saw me go in and asked my friend, "Is that a dude?" My friend said, "No, she's a girl." The one girl said, "No he's not. That's totally a dude!" My friend says, "I've known her for two years, I think I'd know." In retrospect, it's pretty darn hilarious.
This was the same night a girl asked me out for her friend and I said, "If your friend wants to ask me out, he can ask me himself." and got "My friend is a girl!" in response. Shortly after, a different friend of mine called me by my birth name, and I heard the same girl say, "Isn't [birthname] a <i>girl's</i> name?!" Part of me was somewhat offended--I thought I was just a tomboy at the time, since I didn't know that trans was a thing--but I couldn't help being somewhat pleased as well. Mostly, I was confused though, haha.
Homecoming night freshman year was pretty hilarious, TBH. These days, people don't ask too often. I got some weird looks camping last weekend, though, but that was because I wasn't binding that day, as I was bound and determined to completely relax.

First case wasn't so much what he said, but how he acted.  Walked into a McDonald's and the guy at the cash was acting all bro-like "Hey man what would you like" I told him and his jaw slackened a bit and started messing up his words and then proceeded to get the wrong order down.  His coworker started giving him a hard time and was laughing at him (for getting the order wrong she was saying).  I thought it was hilarious but was also annoyed that my voice wasn't passing.

Second case I was sitting next to this path and two guys rode by on their bikes.  The one yells out "ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL? LOOOOOOL".  They were gone before I could say anything.  I was kinda amazed at his immaturity and stupidity more than offended.

Other than that, I haven't really gotten anything.  Maybe one or two side-glances but yeah.

"How can I help you sir- err ma'am....whatever you are"

I had the "man or woman?" treatment from two immature young women during my first attempt at transition. They were sitting behind me on a bus. Interestingly. It was at a point, two years in on HRT when I had decided to stop transition, was presenting in male clothing and had just had my long hair cut short apparently giving me an androgynous look because my face looked very feminine but the rest if me (tall, no visible boobs) looked male. I was confusing a lot of people at the time.

Quote from: kdbrrw on September 23, 2014, 02:33:15 PM
"How can I help you sir- err ma'am....whatever you are"

It makes me wonder how people think it is OK to say things like that!?!

Wow, some of these replies are mind blowing.
@Chipper - just wow, dude. Wow.

Very early in my transition I got the occasional second glance of someone trying to "figure it out," so to speak, but no one ever said anything to me or within my earshot. I think I got a lot more "are you a boy or a girl" sort of trouble when I was in high school. (I'm closer to 40 than 30 at this point.)

I did have one moment maybe half a year pre-transition/pre-out at the office that was very *head-desk* worthy, though. We had a member of our off-site staff that I had never met before (there are lots of them) in the office on day. When we met she very excitedly said, (as if this was something they talked about), "I hope you don't mind my saying, but a number of the (other staff I work with that I haven't met) think you're a man. I told them I was pretty sure you were a woman - and here you are!" I internally winced at the time and thought, "Oh, lady, you have no idea... and that is so wrong on so many levels..."

I'm sure if/when I next see her, it will be a very interesting moment/conversation indeed.

Almost all of my really memorable "stuff strangers say" moments have been with medical professionals though, humorously (read: sadly?) enough.

I had an exceptionally curious cardiologist assistant ask me all sorts of personal questions (to be fair, I told her she could) - she was like a kid in a candy shop. She said some wholly inappropriate (and some technically racist-stereotyping) things; I'd tell the tale fully, but I can't without repeating them and I'd rather not, but honestly, she meant well. I truly believe the lady just didn't know any better. Her curiosity was genuine and she thanked me for being willing to answer all her questions - very polite otherwise.

I had one doctor send me for a mammogram, post top-surgery, with the subsequent radiologist being exceptionally nervous about telling me they couldn't do the procedure and that they weren't sure why my GP would have sent me in this instance (I figured that was going to be the case, but I gave the GP the benefit of the doubt; maybe she knew something I didn't, right?). Poor radiologist was so embarrassed by the whole thing. Felt maybe just a little bit bad to have put her in that circumstance. When she saw I wasn't angry or upset about the situation, though, she relaxed some. (I actually laughed, I couldn't help myself. As a friend so cleverly put at a later point, "Why'd she even send you, you have no mammos to gram!")

I had a dermatologist very quickly say he didn't know anything about it, upon hearing the reason for my HRT. While assessing my scalp issues and hair loss (why I was there), that the hair loss really resembled female pattern baldness much more than male pattern baldness, paused, then said, "Which I guess makes sense since the genetics don't change, only the... (starting to falter a little) appearance..." and then seemed to think he maybe said something inappropriate, and quickly moved on. I like to hope that exchange made him think a little outside his usual client box.

Guy behind me near me on the tube: "Haha, is that thing male or female?"

Guy's mate: "Who cares? Dude, they're a person first. Have some respect."

Awesome.

I just remembered once when I was 16 and binding for the first time my parents took us kids out to eat. We went to this super fancy place and when the sever got to me he literally could not stop himself....and what can I get for you sir, ma'am, sir, ma'am,.....He did this every time he came back to the table. I could have died.

Quote from: TeeBoi on September 23, 2014, 06:02:56 PM
Guy behind me near me on the tube: "Haha, is that thing male or female?"

Guy's mate: "Who cares? Dude, they're a person first. Have some respect."

Awesome.

This is awesome! If only all people were like that.

I'll give two incidents when it caught me off-guard and was kinda funny.

Special Needs Boy: Are you daughter or son?
Me: Huh? (wasn't paying attention) What did you ask?
Boy: Are you daughter or son?
His Caregiver: Don't ask questions like that!
Me: It's alright, I don't mind. Daughter.
Boy: Oh. I like your clothes.
Me: Thanks! And I love your hair.
Boy: *Blush and smile*

____________________________________________________

At walmart

Some Random Chick (Hot): Hey, do you go to the high school?
Me: Yeah. Senior. You?
Girl: No way! Me too. I kinda see you a lot.
Me: I probably saw you around. Small school.
Girl: I like it.
We have a conversation, next thing I know....
Girl: So... Are you single?
Me: Yeah. You?
Girl: I am. You seem like a nice guy and this'll probably be weird but can we talk some time?
Me: Um, I appreciate it, but did you say guy? (we haven't used pronouns until now)
Girl: Yeah. You are a guy right?
Me: I'm sorry to disappoint you in saying no. I'm actually a girl.
Girl: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I thought you were a guy this whole time!
Me: *laugh* it's fine! I get it all the time. I don't try to pass, but everyone thinks so.
Girl: *laughs herself* I'm sorry, I swear you look and sound and even ACT like a guy. You even STAND like a guy, I couldn't tell!
Me: Years of practice (she laughs at that)
Girl: Well I'm sorry but I'm not a lesbian or anything. I swear I thought you were a guy, I'm so sorry!
Me: I swear it's fine. I gotta go though, I'll see you tomorrow at school.
Girl: *chuckle chuckle* okay, bye!

I saw her at school tomorrow just walking and she says, 'Hey walmart stud!' We talk a lot. Funny how you meet people huh? The walmart one I wrote just how I think it sorta went. She spoke really fast at times and it was loud. Overall, its our conversation basically. We tell it like I wrote it and fill each others parts in, it's funny hearing us explain it.

Quote from: Brandon on September 21, 2014, 09:03:11 PM
especially since my haircut.

Any recent pics, post-haircut? (I guess they wouldn't belong in this thread, but I had to ask.)

Quote from: kdbrrw on September 23, 2014, 02:33:15 PM
"How can I help you sir- err ma'am....whatever you are"

I got that from the guy who was putting my harness on for skydiving, not the most reassuring thing! But admittedly I did really, really need a haircut at the time.

I can't think of any times which really stand out other than people telling me their reactions when the first met me after I came out, but they were too embarrassed to tell me at the time.

One girl who was in the room I was in initially (it was a dorm type jobs and I wasn't out yet) wondered why someone's younger brother had been left there. Another thought I was young boy who had somehow snuck onto the base, and then that I was a man hating lesbian when he discovered my name. Another's parents had argued all the 400miles back home about what gender I was.

Quote from: kdbrrw on September 23, 2014, 02:33:15 PM
"How can I help you sir- err ma'am....whatever you are"

My ex used to wonder why people feel the need to tack on a gender-specific term, or even any term at all. He would have gone with "How can I help you?" and left it at that. I find that a little abrupt.

Actually, I've always rather admired the nonspecific "comrade." But then we would all sound like holdovers from the former Soviet Union.