I have reached a frustraitiong point in my transition. I can pass fairly well, however I do not have the money to take care of this infernal facial hair. I shave and 12-14 hours later its like it was when i last shaved. so I can pass for short outings, but i have to fake so much that i wonder if i will ever get to the point where i dont have to fake it. Then the frustration gets worse and all i want to do is throw in the towle burn every thing i own and hide, hide untill the world passes me by.

I know its not the answer, I know i cant hide from this...... Maybe its those around me that i wish to hide from....... maybe its those on the street. I dont know.......

I also feel lake that hamster in his wheel, running, and running, and running for all he is worth but going absolutly no where. I see all these beauteful trans women and i want to cry, i cant imagion every being that beauteful and able to pass without trying. with out needing the 3x padded bra, the make-up, the ultra fem clothes, and shoes, dont get me wrong, I love most if not all of that, but i would absolutly love to step out side in a pait of jean shorts, a tshirt, and flip flops and be labled a lady right off. I cant see it. I have lost the light at the end of my tunnel......

I know this is long winded, and im sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.....

So Ladys, how do you stay standing? How do you continue moveing forward when you feel you have lost your way?

Beard removal is indeed a timely and costly process. Have you tried laser as it is (relatively) cheaper and faster than electrolysis.

If hair removal is out of your budget, then have you tried a full coverage concealer and foundation to cover it up. Some are better than others at beard cover.

That's why I want the tria home laser, but every time we get the money my wife, even with knowing I want this allots the money elsewhere.

I currently use Revlon color stay 24hr and after a full nights work I have more then a 5 o'clock shadow....

I would recommend changing then. Cover FX or some equivalent full coverage concealer will help. Secondly, Other full coverage foundations like. kat von d will cover it better once covered by a good concealer. Which ever one you choose make sure it's a full coverage concealer and and your separate full coverage foundation. I won't lie to you, but it this does add up a bit too, but cheaper than laser.

Stay strong Sheala and I am sure this will pass. And don't kid yourself about these beautiful women (trans or otherwise) they are a very small minority and most of us can't compete with their looks, even if we were of a mind to. Oh, and check out some of the no makeup pictures for a reality check! I love Gwyneth Paltrow's response when questioned about how she maintains her beauty. Paraphrasing somewhat she said; "It is so easy. All you have to do is eat nothing and work out for 8 hours a day.......every day!".

Actually even the most beautiful of my friends have at least some hang ups about their appearance. What others see is always very different to how we see ourselves, and it is usually significantly more positive.

I found that estrogen slowed down facial hair growth, even if it couldn't stop it entirely, so this may happen to you in time. If you're feeling brave you could try what a couple of friends did. They had electrolysis treatment at beauty colleges. The students work under strict supervision of course, and though I have to confess I didn't try that option myself it may be worth investigating.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, and good luck with your transition.
xx

if you have no fear of pain, you could do like the romans and use tweezers.
hurts much less the second time you pull out the same hair.

time consuming, but you'll stay smooth much longer.
i know a (cis) woman who does it, because of unwanted beard growth.
also had a boyfriend once who was totally fascinated by the tweezers. didn't last too long though.

Shaving is just something I need to do every day, like showering and brushing my teeth. It's just part of my daily routine. I hate it, but I pray to accept that this is what I need to do. (I'm not sure about god, so I pray to my inner spirit. It works just as well).

Good luck, Sheala. I hope this helps.

Quote from: Sheala on September 22, 2014, 05:27:56 AM

I also feel lake that hamster in his wheel, running, and running, and running for all he is worth but going absolutly no where. I see all these beauteful trans women and i want to cry, i cant imagion every being that beauteful and able to pass without trying. with out needing the 3x padded bra, the make-up, the ultra fem clothes, and shoes, dont get me wrong, I love most if not all of that, but i would absolutly love to step out side in a pait of jean shorts, a tshirt, and flip flops and be labled a lady right off. I cant see it. I have lost the light at the end of my tunnel......

I feel you there.  Transition is exhausting, and I, too, understand the concept of transition fatigue.  Therapy, laser, doctor, court, coming out, the other doctors, documents, electro, nails, hair, lather, rinse, repeat.  Day after day, there's always something and it will drain your wallet dry.  This week for me, it's nails, therapy (for issues other than gender this time), trying to get my new name on my gas bill (again!), and another hour of electro.  Next week- the endo, more electro, birth certificate.  It's been like this for coming up on two years.  I still need to finalize my SRS surgeon, get more face and genital electro, get mah face worked on by a dermatologist and probably some minor plastic surgery, then possibly a BA, not to mention losing some weight in the right places while keeping it where I want it.  I'm guessing I'll still be busy with this trans stuff two years from now.

The fact is, I still can't walk out without femme clothing, makeup and some bra padding and still get pegged for a girl.  I am very much an elaborate illusion.  If I walked out the door as I am now, I'd likely be sir'd in a heartbeat.  It takes a lot of work for a shaven ape like me to rock a cute outfit and blend in.  But you know what?  Working the hamster wheel every hour of every day still beats what I had.  Having hope where I had none before is priceless.

Hang in there.  Breathe.  It will get better.

Hugs,
Jill

Maybe I am going to be very blunt and straight forward but well, that is how I am o.o.

You most likely don't pass because you try too hard.

Again what I say very often. Pass ability is overrated. You do not pass automatically if you got a flawless skin, bright red lips, gigantic breasts or very long hair. It is about how you feel, move and feeling comfortable with just that. Just be yourself and pass ability will come with time.

Yes. You will. Because if you try very hard to look only the more feminine when you go out, you will act differently because you are not adjusted to those looks. As an example when you never walk on high heels and suddenly try to, to be more feminine. Or when some only wear a wig when they go out and do not even know how to keep it out of their face when they are eating.

Even Conchita Wurst was seen as a woman, they just didn't understand at first how she could have a beard.

I noticed that on days where I tried extra hard to come across as more feminine, were the days where people would see trough. Because I was not used to looking that way and behaving that way. Now you and others can look at transgenders who are 'passable' but you will see what I just explained. Maybe I should sometime put an image online of me girl and guy mode and see how big of a difference you can already create just by sitting correctly/posing/movement/expression.

Be yourself and make it feel natural. You are a woman in and out. You are not out there to prove it to everyone else but you should just feel as how you want to feel.

Hello ladies
here's one that I haven't seen posted yet, but there is a prescription medication that helps to reduce facial hair. It's called Vaniqa and I have been using it for quite a while, although it does not eliminate the hair. It does slow down the growth dramatically. I've gone from having to shave once a day to every third or fourth day. It really is liberating not to have to shave every day and cannot wait until I have my beard fully removed in till then this is what I will use your GP should be able to prescribe this for you. If not, you might need to go see a dermatologist. I hope this information helps everybody out there. Keep on going better days are ahead.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

It looks like Melissa may have loaned you a flashlight for the end of that tunnel.

Vaniqua can be a hit or miss. It's also expensive and not covered by most insurance.

Quote from: Sheala on September 22, 2014, 07:16:02 AM
That's why I want the tria home laser, but every time we get the money my wife, even with knowing I want this allots the money elsewhere.

I currently use Revlon color stay 24hr and after a full nights work I have more then a 5 o'clock shadow....

Just commenting on this foundation ( since it's what I use ), it's way too thin to help cover much. Even applied liberally. However I do have a 'foundation stick' which is much thicker and can cover just about anything. I use that for a few days after each electrolysis treatment before swapping back to the revlon liquid. It's a routine that works

Good luck girl

I can understand your frustration. I've had my laser on hiatus for the last year and a half due to insufficient funds. Shaving the face let alone BUYING men's razors is very uncomfortable.

Quote from: Sheala on September 22, 2014, 05:27:56 AM
I also feel lake that hamster in his wheel, running, and running, and running for all he is worth but going absolutly no where.

The "he" above caught my eye. You might have been just gendering the hamster, I dunno, but you are still a woman and not the only one dealing with nasty facial hair. In fact, I know two cis women who are also saddled with our burden.

You came here and admitted your problem. Sheala, that strikes me as an authentic thing to do. I suspect it's coming from an authentic person. But, I'm a little worried about seeing you beat yourself up. So if I may suggest, refraining from beating yourself may be the best place for you to start getting back up.

Look at the road ahead of you, not the wall.  You are a lovely lady with beautiful facial structure, looking at your pic.  The beard and other things will eventually be a memory, just stay your course.  Exercise, drink plenty of water, take care of your skin and hair, be gentle with makeup and your self-critique. In time, you will be just as uniquely lovely as those you admire. Patience.

Thank you every one for the kind words. they where just what i needed in my time of dought. I went and saw my therapist yesterday, and came up with a plan to over come all my issues. and that is to stop letting others controle my life

You and your spouse need to have a chat and clearly define what you need, and that it's not open for debate. Or you are going to end up resenting what she's doing to you. Maybe both of you need to air this out with your therapist?

Quote from: Sheala on September 24, 2014, 09:19:46 AM
Thank you every one for the kind words. they where just what i needed in my time of dought. I went and saw my therapist yesterday, and came up with a plan to over come all my issues. and that is to stop letting others controle my life

While thats all good and all... I think you might be better off spending the $$$ on laser and electrolysis rather than handing it to the therapist

I might get flamed here for that but its a long process removing a beard and the sooner you start the sooner you will be done...

If thats your natural hair color in your picture Id say laser will probably work very well for you...
BUT you need a real laser and an experienced operator... The Tria is NOT powerful enough to permanently remove beard hair