[Content warning for discussions of menstruation, for anyone who would rather avoid that.]

Okay, this is something I've been wondering about for like two years, so I thought I'd finally take a poll: does anyone else feel like the intensity of their dysphoria is closely linked to their menstrual cycle?

I'm pre-T so I get my period every month, and jesus friggin christ, is my dysphoria a reliable indicator that my body is about to lose its ->-bleeped-<-. It's my strongest PMS symptom, hands down. It doesn't seem to be the physical reminder of being female-bodied that does it, so I think it must be a hormonal thing that turns me into a complete dysporia-riddled sadsack for a week.

Does this happen to anyone else? I do get dysphoria at other times, but it's background noise in comparison. In fact, one of the reasons haven't persued medical transition yet because once that surge of dysphoria passes, the immediate relief of its wake tricks me into thinking it'll never happen again. This just in, I'm a idiot. 

So yeah, I was wondering if anyone else experiences this, or if I'm a lone weirdo about it. It's a little disorienting sometimes with respct to identity. I'm always like ''is this gender fluidity??? Is this a sign I'm not trans?? A sign I am trans?? Someone put me out of my misery...''

I don't really understand anything in your post that would be indicative that you're "not trans".  Sorry, but I don't really know how you're arriving at that.

Dysphoria increasing with "that time" - I can 100% understand because that's exactly how I felt pre-T when mine would happen.  Dysphoria, for me, continued after it was done - but was madness whenever it struck.

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on September 24, 2014, 07:00:00 PM
I don't really understand anything in your post that would be indicative that you're "not trans".  Sorry, but I don't really know how you're arriving at that.

Haha, ok, to be fair, that was mostly exaggeration for emphasis. I do end up second guessing myself a lot, though, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to sometimes thinking things along the lines of "if my dysphoria isn't constant and continuous, then I'm just making it up and I've been cis all along" or "this is just a hormonal issue; it'll go away when I'm on birth control and then I'll be normal." Doesn't make much logical sense, I know, but brains are ->-bleeped-<-s sometimes.

Dysphoria is awful and I hate it with a passion, but sometimes when it hits there's a small, small comfort in knowing where I stand, y'know? On the rare occasion that it fades, I never enjoy it. Just tense and waiting for the next round to hit, while simultaneously worrying that I've gotten it wrong this whole time. So stupid. :')

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on September 24, 2014, 07:00:00 PM
Dysphoria increasing with "that time" - I can 100% understand because that's exactly how I felt pre-T when mine would happen.  Dysphoria, for me, continued after it was done - but was madness whenever it struck.

Ugh, I hesitate to say that I'm "glad" you experienced this phenomenon as well, because it's a bucket load of bs, but I am kinda heartened to know I'm not alone.

I'm...not following why why you're dysphoric
Is there's something besides your cycle bothering you.
I get that there's an "emotional dip" I'm just tryna follow you.
For me, my body fills out and I get curvy during that time and
I get anxious around that time because I can't stomach wearing
tight clothes around that time because I feel worse.
So maybe it's something different for you.

Quote from: captains on September 24, 2014, 08:52:16 PM
Haha, ok, to be fair, that was mostly exaggeration for emphasis. I do end up second guessing myself a lot, though, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to sometimes thinking things along the lines of "if my dysphoria isn't constant and continuous, then I'm just making it up and I've been cis all along" or "this is just a hormonal issue; it'll go away when I'm on birth control and then I'll be normal." Doesn't make much logical sense, I know, but brains are ->-bleeped-<-s sometimes.

I know exactly what you mean. I've done that to myself too, with several things. "Oh, that feeling went away, perhaps that means I'm not x after all??" I think it's wishful thinking or an internalized phobia of some kind, hoping we're not THAT STIGMATIZED THING and maybe those feelings will go away on their own.

Well, as for my cycle, most of the symptoms I have nowadays are emotional. I haven't gotten hit with dysphoria (not even after realizing I'm trans, mysteriously enough), but I get really depressed and sort of neurotic. It's very unpleasant and is very much influenced by hormones, not by outside sources or anything else, because it's consistent with my cycle each time. I wonder if you get hit with a similar wave of mood-altering hormones, but it manifests itself as dysphoria.

Quote from: echo_artist on September 24, 2014, 09:38:00 PM
I'm...not following why why you're dysphoric
Is there's something besides your cycle bothering you.
I get that there's an "emotional dip" I'm just tryna follow you.
For me, my body fills out and I get curvy during that time and
I get anxious around that time because I can't stomach wearing
tight clothes around that time because I feel worse.
So maybe it's something different for you.

Idk, bruh, it's a good question. I think it's a sensitivity thing? Like it's not just that I have the physical reminder of my female bodied-ness, it's that that fact hits a hell of a lot harder than it would have otherwise. When I'm at a specific point on my cycle it's unbearable, but if the same occurrence had happened at another point in the month, it'd be a mere annoyance. Dunno. It's weird. I feel so strongly that I'm a dude and everything is wrong when I'm PMSing, but then once it's passed, my body is the same, but it strikes me as more tolerable. Kinda like, ok, so this isn't ideal, but whatever.

Man, i totally get you, I thought I was alone on that as well. I'm still unsure about myself too because of it, because, like you said, it seems tolerable after that time passes.

I wanted to look up how hormones change through the month to see if there is a dip or rise, but I couldnt find any intormation. Although I do believe some that may have something to do with it. Or the fact that we have to deal with that "time of the month".

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on September 24, 2014, 09:51:25 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I've done that to myself too, with several things. "Oh, that feeling went away, perhaps that means I'm not x after all??" I think it's wishful thinking or an internalized phobia of some kind, hoping we're not THAT STIGMATIZED THING and maybe those feelings will go away on their own.

Well, as for my cycle, most of the symptoms I have nowadays are emotional. I haven't gotten hit with dysphoria (not even after realizing I'm trans, mysteriously enough), but I get really depressed and sort of neurotic. It's very unpleasant and is very much influenced by hormones, not by outside sources or anything else, because it's consistent with my cycle each time. I wonder if you get hit with a similar wave of mood-altering hormones, but it manifests itself as dysphoria.

YES, and it's the worst. Internalized garbage, man. What the hell. Someone please knock me upside the head until my diaper baby internal monologue shuts off.

And honestly, I think might just be what's up, b/c your situation sounds a lot like mine. I also get depressed and neurotic and honestly, kinda weird, and I think it all bubbles out as dysphoria. I get fixated and leads to feeling acutely aware of my body and my presentation, which of course, generates a lot of discomfort.

@Pizzaparty78: It's frustrating, right? There's a spike in progesterone that occurs during that time. I wonder if there's any correlation...

Yeah, my dysphoria peaks around shark week and sometime before it starts and after it finishes.

Whenever the bleeding happened, monstrosity was brought out as if I was possessed by a demon or something. So yes, the dysphoria was definitely at its peak.

I trashed the things that were important to me.  I HATED the very fact that I was alive. I still do but at least I am quieter.

That makes a lot of sense actually both because of the things shark week does and because right before it starts is when people have the most of those hormones in their system.
I don't know how it is for other people, but those hormones wrecked havoc on my mental wellbeing and it's a relief to be on T.

I have the same cycle of dysphoria and doubt like you.
I have seen changes in that when my hormone cycle changed. When I had a lot of short cycles, I was much more dysphoric (even though I had much less pain and shorter bleeding in the short cycles).
When I took progesterone supplements, my dysphoria got a lot less, though I felt like "not really me". I felt pregnant more or less.
So yes, hormone levels influence this strongly.

To set matters right: in the week or so before menstruation sets in, the estrogen and progesteron levels decrease, while testosterone has a slight peak.
There is also a testosterone high during ovulation, so the pms and dysphoria is not caused by the higher testosterone itself, but by the generally low hormone levels (which trigger the bleeding). Most people do not have dysphoria when testosterone and estrogen are high during ovulation.