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parents!!

Started by jossef-ftm, September 24, 2014, 04:53:17 PM

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jossef-ftm

almost everybody here know how my life is hard cause i live in an arabic country and i'm not safe and everything,but my life in home was good i mean my parents never want to talk about how i look or my haircut i mean i live as a man i buy man clothes i have a man haicut i'm me and everything is ok since i was 4 years old i never pretend or wear girly stuffs i 'm completly me and no one talk about this i mean only my parents not the whole family and thats ok cause they the only ones that i care about and i think they accept it and everything is ok even my dad i felt before he is proud of me he even treat me as his son before and called me his boy well idk if he mean it or he was joking when he call me that but when he do i feel he really mean it and he is proud of me, anyway before 2 weeks i noticed (my parents) try to open some subjects about gay and trans people when we r on the table together eating they always try to talk about lesbians and stuffs it was 2 wierd weeks and they keep do the same idk what's really going on last night mom was asking me about the names of some people on a show then i told her then she was like( i see u remember only the femals names!!) and dad today morning was taking about how gay people will burn in hell and i keep ignore it i go to my room then he come tell me hey u should grow ur hair god hate the ones try to look like the other gender he mean(gays) he just said it this way..after a while mom again start an other subject that end with a big fight with her i was talking about not having a job yet and how sad and depressed i'm then she just start scream in my face she was like u know u can have a billion job the best jobs ever u know u can do everything ur diploms can get u a job that can make u the richest kid in the hood but u choose to not u choose to go with ur stupid style and crazy personality and then u complaining,and i was screaming back i told her do u think i'm pretending do u think i chose all that pain and not having a normal life !! then she start crying and she was like i know what u trying to say but no i didnt make a mistake when i born u no everything is ok with my kid and we will fix that no more crazy things and then she start crying so high..idk why they act like that lately idk why now!! they know i'm right they know i'm not pretending she(mom) her self told me i never imagine u with someone than a  femal) and now she scream on my face,they mean the world to me but idk whats wrong with them...they know its the truth the pure truth and i'm not pretending but they refuse to see it,that look at my dad face when he looked at me and he told me u r hated by god u should know that and u will burn in hell this look i will never forget it forever and i cant sleep cause of that...my life become a mess cause of that and i'm kinda suicidal lately cause i'm waiting and searching a job i did the impossible nothing happened i keep hoping and tell my self i wont lose hope but nothing change i feel im lieing to my self i told mom about my suicidal thoughts and she ignore me she think i'm joking or i'm not serious cause for them im a crazy person cause of the way i dress and i call my self with the right pronouns male pron no one take me serious its like if u r in a mental issues hospital and u tell them u r not crazy no one will belive u , idk why im writing this here but just felt to share it with someone and this is the only place i know people accept me and understand me in..
Sometimes, it's hard to find words to tell you how much you mean to me. A lot of times, I don't say anything at all. But I hope someday, you'll understand, having you is what I live for...(I Love you my Queen )
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jamesdoran

Hey man, sorry to hear that your parents are having a hard time with things.

It sounds like they have said some pretty hurtful stuff. I think a lot of us here have had issues with our parents accepting us; unfortunately a lot of parents think that their kid being transgender means something is "wrong" with them or that they have failed as a parent....when really this is just the way we are. Just keep standing up for yourself and asserting that you are a man, that you were born this way and that nothing will change who you are.

Sometimes it also helps to make your parents feel good when you talk to them about things. Tell them that you know that they care about you, and that you appreciate what they do for you. But at the same time be firm in taking a stand.

Good luck, I hope things get better soon.





check out my transition blog: www.jdbrrw.tumblr.com

~ James
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Contravene

Don't lose hope. Maybe your parents are worried and frightened for you because they know how dangerous it is to be transgender where you live. That might be why they changed their tone so suddenly and seem to be trying to discourage you from being yourself as a misguided way to protect you. It's also possible that they thought you were only going through a phase but now they're starting to see that you're serious about your gender identity and they aren't happy with it.

I think the best thing you could do is to look for a good job then consider moving to a place that would be safer for you. I know it's easier said than done but try not to let your parents get you down either. You have to understand that they're probably very confused and worried for you. I've found that the best way to deal with my parents when they act like that is to view them as being like children who don't understand something and are angry because of it, if that makes sense. It helps me ignore their ignorance and stay patient with them.
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Felix

It's good to vent.

It sounds like your parents want to be good parents but don't know how to fit the things you are saying and doing into any pre-existing framework they have. They probably were relaxed in the knowledge that they had a healthy child, and your gender identity is confusing and alarming to them now. If I were you I would try to find outside sources of information they might respect, like WHO or WPATH standards, so you can discuss the details at some remove from immediate emotions.
everybody's house is haunted
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zero.cool.crash.override

That is a very difficult situation.  I'm sorry that you are going through it.  Don't give up!  Don't give up on hope for the future.  Stay strong and true to the man that you are.

I don't know your parents or your whole story, but most parents genuinely want good lives for their kids.  Maybe they let you do your thing for all these years, but now for some reason they're thinking that it's time for you to 'grow up and be normal,' and they can't imagine a safe and happy life for you as a trans guy.  Like Felix said, maybe an outside authority could help them to see that this is not a phase, you are not crazy, you can't possibly choose to stop being trans, and you can have a good future as a trans guy. 
~Malachi Uriel

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Jessica Merriman

This is for you! Sorry acceptance is not there right now. Be patient and never give up hope.

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