My dysphoria has been very intense lately to the point that I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror.
One of the reasons it's gotten worse is that I've gained some weight since going on T.
I already had large hips, thighs, butt, and breasts and now it's worse
I've been wanting to get back to the gym but I don't know what the heck to do about my chest...
I'm a large-chested guy (36 DD) so even when I'm wearing my 997 binder, I don't EVER wear t-shirts because you can still tell I have breasts. So I only wear button-ups
The thing is, I know you're not supposed to wear binders when you work out. I've tried wearing tight sports bras and large baggy shirts, but it's still obvious that they're there...
gah! I just don't know what a good solution to this is. Should I just give up on going to the gym and try to work out at home? I just hate that idea because I love the diverse equipment they have at the gym and also I have a membership (with a cancelation fee)
Advice?

I would maybe just try to wear a sports bra and a button-down to work out in.  Even at the gym, most people are wrapped up in what they're doing themselves, not looking at you. 

I suppose the other thing is that you could look at shelling out the money for a home gym machine.

You mentioned wearing a baggy shirt but have you ever tried wearing a hoodie? It probably wouldn't be a good idea to wear one if you're doing really intense workouts but I see a lot of guys in hoodies jogging on the treadmills at the gym. Supposedly it'll make you burn more calories too because it helps increase your body temperature and your heart rate so if anyone questions you about wearing a hoodie to workout in you'll have a legit reason for it too. You can always cut the sleeves off if they get in the way plus it would look kind of badass.

I wear a binder when I work out I have gym but its more of a fitness thing we go to the weight room alot. But I m a really thin small chested guys so when I wear t shirts it just looks like a beater under it. I think as long as your not going over board you should be good.

I know people say don't work out in a binder but I have to admit I do it. I make sure it's not my tightest binder. So far that's worked out ok for me.

When I used to go to the gym (work out at home now) I told the trainer on my induction I was trans and on T - while wearing a sports bra and a t-shirt. He didn't even bat an eye, treated me with respect and never misgendered me. As for the other gym goers (I was always in the weight room and it was all men....never saw a single women down there) .... nobody ever said anything to me, except maybe "can you spot me?" or "turn the radio up"  people really don't care, they're busy working out. So if you like the equipment there just go do your thing and try not to worry about it - you'll thank yourself when the weight comes off and you have some muscle and it'll make eventual top surgery all the better if you have pecs ready to show off.

Quote from: kdbrrw on September 24, 2014, 06:18:05 PM
My dysphoria has been very intense lately to the point that I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror.

That's me every time I change clothes or take a shower.  I try not to look in the mirror if I can help it, and I get everything done quickly, get out, and my a sports bra right back on.

As far as working out, I like the hoodie idea that Contravene mentioned.  I might even try that, specially since it's starting to cool off outside!

Just recently I was able to get myself to start a diet and sit less, so I'm in your same situation. I'm still Pre-T, Pre-Op, Pre-everything actually, and I have a huge chest so I've never really tried to jog or run outside, it fuels my dysphoria too much. I've been considering a gym membership since working out in a place with just four/five people wouldn't make my dysphoria be that bad, but I'm still worried anyways. The hoodie is a great idea, I might consider it (with a sports bra)!

I dunno if you have one in your area, but, I've always liked 24 hour fitness because it's so quiet there.
They had a pool too, which is nice because I can keep my chest size down by swimming. No one ever pays attention to me, in the pool or otherwise

Maybe you can get a friend who knows about your situation to exercise with you, so that you can feel closed to this only person and away from all the others.

While I don't have a large chest, I work out in all different binders. I guess none of them are really tight anymore but I have used the tri-top, the Underworks one that has the tank top on top of it, a gc2... None of them have given me real problems even while running.
I mean, I could probably control my breath better without it but there's no way I could bring myself to do that. I notice a lot of dudes' nipples protrude while they're working out and I'm sure people notice mine aren't, but I don't think anyone really finds it weird. I know for a fact my trainer has felt my binder but he has never said anything and still treats me male without me ever coming out.

If it's a 24 hour gym and you're really worried about it, I'd just go as late as possible.

Thanks guys. I will have to try the hoodie idea. It is a 24 hour gym but since I work really early in the mornings I can't go too late.

Quote from: kdbrrw on September 26, 2014, 06:28:29 PM
Thanks guys. I will have to try the hoodie idea. It is a 24 hour gym but since I work really early in the mornings I can't go too late.

I would go with the hoodie and wear the sports bra in order to get the most out of your work out.  People won't think it is weird that you are wearing a hoodie because some people like to wear heavy clothing so they sweat more. 

I want to get back to the gym but the size of my breasts is one of the major things that has put me off exercise. I used to love running and swimming as a kid but they're always there bouncing away in front of me now.

The suggestions here have been really helpful. I need to do something to get some weight off.

Chesticals is a great term!

I think the hoodie idea is great. Also must echo what someone said about folks being too wrapped up in what they're doing to really focus on you.
Good luck man!