So, just saw my therapist and she says I have a great outlook and understanding, and patience for the process and a very pragmatic understanding to begin my journey and meet with an endo.... Yay!

Here is the question..... After fifty three years of my entire life living with the lie of my outwardly secure male persona and life, is it too self-centered to delay the journey just a little while longer while I lose the remaining 35 pounds from the body I took care of but never cared for, to best prepare the vessel for my new, exciting body?

I mean, my greatest fear is not the wildly strange and unexpected changes that are about to happen, but the selfish part of me, the great underlying fear, is that I am going to be a haggard, freakish person and hate myself more. If I am going to make this journey that I have dreamed about as l can remember is it wrong to finally have an ego about my appearance for the first time in my life?

Thanks all, you are becoming a great support.

It seems entirely appropriate to take off the weight if you have the patience. I took off 40 of the 50 I wanted to lose in advance of HRT. In my case, though, I started as soon as I suspected I'm trans and there were delays getting an appointment with the endo.

I wish I had lost weight prior its definitely a challenge after

Your journey is yours! Define it as you wish! Go as far as you wish. Stop along the way for as long as you wish. Just because most people do things a certain way doesn't mean you have to do so.

The only caveat to that is that if you choose a very different path, don't be unfair to yourself when things progress at different rates from what you see others accomplishing. Just focus on yourself, take baby steps, day after day, and one day you'll look back over your shoulder and realize just how far you've come.

I'm looking at losing weight as the first step in my transition.  I'm down more than 30lbs, but I have another 20+ to go before I feel like I'm ready to take the next step.  So your thinking makes a lot of sense to me.

I don't see how it would be selfish.  The whole process of transition is taking care of yourself at your own pace.  Don't let the professionals squeeze you into their timetable...some have a tendency to do that.

I would definitely start working out and making a habit out of it now. It's really a struggle losing weight when you're on HRT due to females retaining more fat and having a harder time losing it. It can be done but it would take longer.

Been on HRT for nearly two years. I'm more concerned with lingering muscle than fat. At any rate I've finally been taking diet and exercise seriously over the past month. Dropped about 5kg so far and looking more slimmer all the time. You most certainly can lose weight on HRT.

I don't see anything self-centered about wanting to lose weight.  It's much easier to put it and and harder to lose it while on HRT.

Thanks ladies. My body, my vessel, has never been a serious part of my psyche despite keeping healthy for the sake of my health, because I never really liked it's form (male). But now, knowing that I have goals and my personal ambition, especially as an older person entering into transition is to prepare my body to be the best possible silhouette to make me feel even more special with the changes. I want to be hot!

Thanks for all the replies, I truly understand each journey is unique, just curious.