I'm currently identified as transmasculine/genderqueer, though wondering if FtM would better suit me...

I was wondering if anybody else finds sex can bring feelings of guilt? I love to ->-bleeped-<- and please a woman, but I don't really enjoy being touched that much. The chest is a no go area anyway, but at the same time I kinda feel guilty for not wanting to be touched... I don't know how to explain it...  There's a kind of mental connection I get being an active partner/top that I have occasionally got being submissive, but it's the submission that turns me on, rather than the touch?

It's a difficult matter for many people. I can't answer since I haven't even tried to have sex for about 11 years now. I'd love to cuddle and pleasure someone I just don't want to do anything with the downstairs plumbing...

I've never really felt guilty about sex, but I've never felt comfortable with it, and that's as a male. Nothing ever felt right (even when it felt good). I'd have moments in bed where a switch would just go off in my head and I'd pull away and become snappy and aloof. I've never done one-night-stands, so I'd always have long lapses between relationships where I wasn't at all active. That alone didn't help me any, because it would all be over with quickly. Now I have absolutely no interest in sex. If I ever have SRS it would probably be the "cosmetic" route.

Hey Peacebone,

I can relate to what you're saying (lots of it). I also am transmasculine/genderqueer and wondering if ftm fits better. I sometimes felt guilty for being somehow "difficult" to have sex with, and I had a former partner say that it was stressful remembering and sometimes figuring out what was OK with me physically and sexually. Also, she would say that she missed skin to skin contact, because I often wanted to wear a tank and/or some kind of chest compression during sex. Eventually we broke up, and I am now with someone who doesn't get stressed out by what turns me on and doesn't. In fact, she interacts with me very intuitively in ways that sometimes feel so validating, I wanna cry. Like touching the top of my chest before I had surgery with her palm in a way that made me feel like my chest was flat.  Kinda hard to explain. Anyway, my point is, you are who you are and you like what you like, and there are people out there who will not only get it, they will delight in it. So try to ride out the guilt, and give yourself permission to be yourself, exactly as you are, even if it changes.
Best of luck!

I can relate to all this... most of the time, I just enjoy pleasing my partner.. I don't really care if they please me. A lot of the time, I just don't want to be touched and left alone. When I am pleased, then I feel guilty about it, like I'm betraying who I am.. like I'm not doing it right, as I should be. This thought has sometimes led me to 'non-performance' if you know what I mean... I like break lol and can't function properly.