While being on here last couple of weeks has made me feel significantly better about being what I am I can't deny that seeing all you guys starting transition and even conpleting it really makes me wish I could as well. However doing so would mean losing the only family I have left and truly being alone which isn't so much scary for me as it is the fact that is have to leave my mother who I take care of. I'll spare he details but basically I know for certain that if I came out and started the process that would be it I'd be an orphan, have any of you guys dealt with anything like that? I'm becoming more scared of the future because I don't know how ill deal with that reality when it comes. How do you just leave it all behind?

I've dealt with something like that, but not because I'm trans.
I left my family's home for the last time when I was eighteen. It was probably easier for me than it would be for other people because, by that point, they had made my life a nightmare. It was still hard though. I was scared. I didn't know what would happen to me and if I could make it. I was homeless for a year, but it turns out, it was one of the best things I ever did.
Then again, my family made it very easy to leave them all behind.

I already lost my sister, and she lets me know that evey day...  She'snow pushing me to come out to mom and dad, so that they can hate me too, and maybe ally with her to stop me going in "the wrong direction". I wish it wasn't like this, but I will be alone next year.

I'm very close to abandoning my father. He really thinks I'm to blame for everything and when someone says I did something wrong, he sounds off "Oh, I knew it. She always did that crap, can't expect her to change." Whenever he hears the worst of me, he responds with "I told you so" and takes his anger out on my mother since we are on the silent treatment. On top of that, he wants to me study, get a job, move out and then transition. That's not going to be possible because that just leads to more problems since T doesn't work overnight, I could lose my job and there's no telling when I'll get another since it could be months before I start passing as male.

I'll write him a letter tonight but it's all on him what happens next. There's only so much I can do and we've never had a great relationship anyways since he's an insensitive jerk.

I'm written off. It's tough, but it's better than the alternative which would probably kill me. I'm not going running back with my tail between my legs. 

I just never thought I'd be an orphan my dad's dead and idk is it ever okay? To not have family though in was never close with mine is it ever really okay to be without them? Even if they're disgusted by you

I'm okay with not having a family.

I'm more or less estranged from my family which is really tough because we all still live together. It was like this even before I came out to them though, coming out has just made it worse. I've always been the scapegoat of the family so it was probably destined to happen anyway, coming out just added more fuel to the fire and gave them an excuse to speed up the process of pushing me out of their lives. My dad has warned me that if I do decide to transition one day "then I'll still love you but it'll be over, you'll be cut off" so I probably will lose them completely but who knows. We've always stuck together despite all the dysfunction (which in the end was probably a bad thing) so they may come around once there's some distance between us and some time to think but I'm not going to hold my breath.

It is really sad and frightening to think of but I try to remind myself that at some point you just have to accept that you can't always control how other people react to you or treat you. My family can't change me into what they think I should be so if they would rather just get rid of me altogether, that's their choice, not mine. I give them every opportunity to be a part of my life and I make an effort to be a part of theirs. If they turn me down, that's on them. Usually it's very hard for me to come to terms with the thought of losing them, other times I just think "to hell with them then".

I have got quite lucky with my parents, they don't seem that bothered, maybe sometimes ignorant but its clear they still like me (well, hopefully. My younger brother seems OK with it, jokes about he is more manly than me haha. But I'm sure my older brother is going to be a right twat about it, but feck him.

I know it must hurt to have unaccepting parents, but just think, the only link you have to them is DNA, if you weren't related you probably couldn't care less about them. You don't owe them anything- one day the universe will end and none of this will matter, jus try and enjoy the hand you've been dealt.

Quote from: ScottyMac on September 28, 2014, 01:14:41 PM
I have got quite lucky with my parents, they don't seem that bothered, maybe sometimes ignorant but its clear they still like me (well, hopefully. My younger brother seems OK with it, jokes about he is more manly than me haha. But I'm sure my older brother is going to be a right twat about it, but feck him.

I know it must hurt to have unaccepting parents, but just think, the only link you have to them is DNA, if you weren't related you probably couldn't care less about them. You don't owe them anything- one day the universe will end and none of this will matter, jus try and enjoy the hand you've been dealt.

Contrary my friend I owe my mother my life literally I'd be dead or in jail without her so  that is what makes the prospect of losing or even disappointing her completely gut ripping

Well it sounds like she is a good mum. Are you sure she won't be accepting of you? But even if she had kept you out of jail, don't feel guilty/like you owe her.

The best it's just this  isn't how we were raised neither of us but definitely not her ha. She jokes about it since of my best friends recently started T  she talks about it like it's be the worst thing to happen (her actual words) lmao guys she cant go one day without calling me her pretty girl anyways who wants to stick around when your hero looks at you disappointed or disgusted or like you're a stranger no?

Quote from: JHeron on September 28, 2014, 04:24:21 PM
The best it's just this  isn't how we were raised neither of us but definitely not her ha. She jokes about it since of my best friends recently started T  she talks about it like it's be the worst thing to happen (her actual words) lmao guys she cant go one day without calling me her pretty girl anyways who wants to stick around when your hero looks at you disappointed or disgusted or like you're a stranger no?

Some people are like that but then they act different when its their own blood. She may accept it.

I haven't talked to my parents in over 20 years. At this point in life it would pointless to try and reconnect, we have nothing in common except for my childhood. I haven't talked to my sister either. She has a family and 4 sons and I only know the oldest one and I saw there second oldest when he was a baby. The others I have never met. Again it would be like talking to a stranger now. I'm actually long over the "family bond" baloney stuff. I have my own "family" and I'm good, loved and happy.

I wasn't sure if my family would accept me or not seeing how they are very religious.  They weren't happy but realized they couldn't stop me (I was in my 40s).  They really didn't want me to "do anything". But I did anyway.  They ultimately accepted me even though they really don't get it.

You never know how someone will react when you come out. We all prepare for the worst (disowning) but sometimes people do surprise us.  And sometimes they do have a major freak out, then eventually come around.

Jay

People I owe it to remaining male - 0
Losses - Father, sister and daughter.
Still have - Mother, son and more friends than I thought possible.
Gains - Life, happiness, freedom and much better health.

Well I can only hope to one day be brave enough to find out I guess

I left home when I was 16 so I've essentially been an orphan since then. My husbands family "know" but they don't want to. My family... Eh. I couldn't really care. I wrote them off years ago, so when I was told "you're not a part of this family until you straighten up" and I told my dad "I left you first."

Contrary to how it sounds, I love my parents. I love my dad a lot. But, I'd rather love him as I am and never speak to him again than to speak to him every day and grow to hate him. My mother, she's sick, so I can't really hold anything against her.

By coming out, no, I haven't.

When I start transition, though...that's yet to be seen.  I already know my mother is against me having surgery, and when I'm 18, I don't have a father.  Bad as it sounds, I'm disowning him, and moving away.

Edit: Opps! I'm so so so so so so so sorry! I accidentally posted in the wrong forum! I didn't see this was female to male!
It was an accident! I'm a new member and I don't know my way around. ^_^;;