I have to say (and this says a lot about the state of the world we are in at the moment), if you were a trans* girl like myself, I'd advise against it. Because you're a trans* guy though, I think you'd be able to carry a lot more weight with your coming out. Most ignorant cis-gendered folks only ever hear about MtF's, but never FtM's. Just the fact that you were born female (I'm assuming?) and transitioning to male will itself be a huge hammer-blow to people who don't even realise that's even "a thing". If in contrast someone like me were to do that, everyone would automatically brand me as a hyper-flamboiant crazy drag-queen like you see on the Jerry Springer show, and I'd just be laughed off the stage.
What I'm trying to say is - yeh, go for it! Target the establishment owners and try to get other trans* folk to help put pressure on them. If they realise that there's legitimate trans* folk who are starting to kick up stink and potentially loose them business in game, it could be enough to pressure them into changing their policies for the better.
I have a Second Life account too - KiraD52 if you want to add me as a friend. I'll be happy to help out any way I can, although I've only been playing for about a year (and not very regularly for that matter), so i don't have any connections or anything, but I'm happy to lend my voice and possibly financial support to the cause if needed
<3