my first appointment with a gender therapist is Friday I still live full time as  a male but often venture out as my female self as much as possible I am 40 years old and feel like I am running out of time to be happy in life but I also want them to take me seriously what should I do?

Dress in your chosen gender, they will take you more seriously, whether they should or not...

xx

It's totally up to you and what your comfortable with. The therapist will understand. If your up to it though, then dress as your chosen gender. Alice is right, they will take it much more seriously. Based on the fact you have already ventured out as female Then going to the appointment as your chosen gender should be no problem for you.

I've wondered if I should as well since I have my first appointment soon as well. I can't dress full femme because I am going to work that day. Any suggestions? I was thinking just do what I do sometimes anyway, which is dress femme in layers and then de-layering as necessary.

Sounds like a great plan to me. Because I work from home, I didn't have to worry about work getting in the way with how I dress for my therapy sessions from the beginning. Just make sure, if your going to therapy first, that anything that would leave a tell tail sign is kept in check so as to not let the cat out the bag to soon at work.

Quote from: ImagineKate on September 27, 2014, 09:28:40 PM
I've wondered if I should as well since I have my first appointment soon as well. I can't dress full femme because I am going to work that day. Any suggestions? I was thinking just do what I do sometimes anyway, which is dress femme in layers and then de-layering as necessary.

A first session with a new therapist is always a bit tense. Dress as comfortably as possible. There's no great need to impress the therapist in your attire. Just try to be relaxed and ready to discuss your feelings.

Quote from: Mariah2014 on September 27, 2014, 09:39:13 PM
Sounds like a great plan to me. Because I work from home, I didn't have to worry about work getting in the way with how I dress for my therapy sessions from the beginning. Just make sure, if your going to therapy first, that anything that would leave a tell tail sign is kept in check so as to not let the cat out the bag to soon at work.

Nope I'm going in the afternoon but it's important anyway because I go to pick up the kids from school afterwards.

Thanks I think it's going to be a long week, and i will probably change my mind many times, hope I have the courage to go as who I really want to be

Good luck!

Good luck to you as well

There certainly is no "Need" to present in your chosen gender. If your immediate goal is to get a clearance letter, be it for HRT or anything else, then I can see a small demonstration of readiness being a good visual aid. Otherwise I'd take a wild shot that the majority of first timers are totally unsure and/or questioning their feelings and show up presenting as their birth gender.

First ever appointments are stressful enough. A bit less then making that phone call but still way up there. No need to add other stressors and worries. First appointments are more for both sides getting acquainted followed by short term and long term goals perhaps then anything else.

Because I had already started wearing a feminine top to my appointments with my normal psychologist, when I started seeing my current gender specialist psychologist, it was no big deal for me to continue with that

I was pondering this as well tonight.. My 1st appointment is this coming Tuesday.  if it's not dreary & rainy I was thinking either my new fav skirt (black, bouncy & goes to my ankles ) + grey leggings if I feel brave enough or  my black utili-kilt (a safe compromise since I already feel comfortable wearing it in public), but either option w/ a neutral  long sleeve black shirt I have (though I hope it's on the cool side since I really want to wear my hoodie, it makes me feel more secure when I can pull the hood over and curl up a bit)     

Oi vey, why do I feel like I'm obsessing too much over what to wear? XD

I just went as a male, I am not near comfortable yet dressing female until I start hormone therapy.  Your therapist will understand, they have had many patients and are used to helping with this.

It sounds like you a few hoops to jump through on the day - work, picking up kids, etc - it may be easier in that sense to present as male. A gender therapist shouldn't judge you by how you dress. The first few times I went to mine I presented as male but he never took that as a sign I wasn't serious. When I was ready to present as female I did, even though I was going in to work afterwards (even though I could have changed before I left the centre I was actually enjoying myself so much I went all the way in to work in girl mode and changed in a unisex loo back into dude mode )

Good luck!

How did your app go hun?

Backed out at last minute, my wife has me all confused on what I want and need, wish their was a GT closer to me so I could go without her knowing, need to talk to someone and get some help sooner then later

*hugs* Your wife should realise that you need help, the therapist isn't about turning you into a woman, he/she is about helping you work on your own feelings and needs.

Alice
xx

thanks for all the good advice, this is the hardest thing I have ever done and I'm sure it's hard on her as well, but I just need to take charge and do what is right for myself. its hard though because I really love my wife at the same time, she did not marry a woman she married a man at least what she thought was a man, I always have these thoughts and feelings though and I feel that if I don't act on them I'm just going to be miserable for the rest of my life, and continue to be something I'm not just to make her happy!

Personally, I think clothes are just an expression: how you act is more important. I couldn't go out wearing any women's clothing while I look the way I do, would need loads of make up. However, I can move, sit, stand or lay like a woman just as well as any one else. Then again, there aren't really any rules as to how people should act or dress. At the end of the day, it's all about how society views different genders. Do what feels natural. Don't subscribe to societies "standards".