So I have a timetable now that I am happily deep in therapy, I am overly excited and scheduled to begin HRT in January after I lose my last 30 pounds.  I would like to hope that my changes are like many progressing gradually and fully throughout, with a bit of a selfish hope I can stay incognito and not changing FT  until after next fall's football season.

I am a high school and college football official. Although many women are breaking into the ranks, and I am highly accredited and veteran in the craft I would rather not come out mid-transition eight months in at 53 years young and then break out after the season.

But today while officiating a very good game between two undefeated and highly ranked teams, where my entire focus should be on every player and every play, I found myself daydreaming about new uniforms, tapered nicely, my boobs ever so prominent, my new pony tail sticking out the back of my cap and the fans admiring the quality head referee of the game, a woman.

Ahhhhhhhh...... The dreams we have about our future lives. Soon, but just not soon enough.

Just wanted to share.

Concentration is really tough pre-transition.  I totally get that.

I'm really interested to know about the officiating.  Highly ranked and undefeated.  By chance was it the Bama Ole Miss or A&M Miss St game?

Quote from: m1anderson on October 04, 2014, 06:18:22 PM
But today while officiating a very good game between two undefeated and highly ranked teams, where my entire focus should be on every player and every play, I found myself daydreaming about new uniforms, tapered nicely, my boobs ever so prominent, my new pony tail sticking out the back of my cap and the fans admiring the quality head referee of the game, a woman.

It will be exciting to see you on the field next year. I am sure next fall can't come soon enough (or even January).

However, I will always be thinking about you after every questionable call I see on TV. Is that m1anderson?

It is so funny you talk about concentration; as I prepare for the next steps, the true first steps, it really is all I can think about.

As for the preparations and the games, it takes about 30-40 hours a week as a part time job to get ready for a big game and then HDTV and 120 frames a second in instant replay can kill a call and make a good crew look bad. In the speed of the game you would be amazed at how well we do looking at all we do.

As for the game we officiated this weekend, a girl (or any official) will never tell. LOL!

M1, what you are doing is very, very important.

Most people still have a very backward view of transgender people. We're entertainers or sex workers. For the world to see an NCAA football official - someone in a highly skilled and demanding profession - transition from male to female and remain successful, well that would change a lot of people's minds about us.

I wish you all possible success, for your sake and for all of us.

Please keep in mind I will not be a politico or a beacon for all others, I will continue as my accomplished self in a situation I have worked so hard to excel in and only the wrapper of the accomplished and the vessel outwardly will change, we are all equal and ultimately people's of our societies and my only opinion of this is that we aren't really any different from one another, but each has it's own personal agendas and should be fully accepted for that.

Soon you will see women as officials in the NFL as it is a pertinent and selfish immediate need for the organization, but as all others given an opportunity to break down previous accepted social norms, we must take advantage of the opportunity to have the new norm as acceptable as ordinary.

My dream is to have my pretty little new self to be treated no differently than my predecessor self as a well studied and highly successful official in my craft. But oh, if I can be cute on the field, what a mighty dream indeed. Cute and proficient, ahhhhhhhhhh, a girl can dream.

It must be draining to complete a game. Not just the physical aspect but the need to stay mentally focused when tensions are high on all sides. For the teams I follow, most people recognize, and do give credit, to officials for calling a good game.   

You have the right perspective in that there is much that defines us as individuals, and being trans is one aspect of our identity. I too hope to see the day when personal accomplishment is recognized as stand alone achievements. We just happen to be openly trans when these accomplishments occurred.

I do agree with suzifrommd in that you are a pioneer in your field which takes courage and deserves respect. Best wishes on a successful transition and a rewarding  career.