I would first find a psychologist specializing in transsexual issues, for example on Psychology Today, in your area and send them an email describing your situation. They will be very eager to meet you as some areas can be very competitive in these kind of markets and are always in need of more clientele. Anyway, what I did was set up appointments and drive myself to them. I think you said you had a license so I'm assuming you have a car too. It's not hard or like you come home smelling like psychologist.

It sounds to me like transitioning now is going to make you worse off, not better.  There's no reason to attempt it and end up destitute.  As long as you're under your parents' roof, it's clearly a no-go.

What you can do is start to formulate a long term plan so that you can transition successfully and support yourself throughout.  Often, colleges have counselors and therapists that you can see that are covered in the student health plan.  Also, you might end up losing all financial support from your parents if they find out you're transitioning, so make sure you have your ass covered with a good job that accepts you as Kayla when they do.

HI !!

I'm still a newbee here, BUT I wouldn't do ANYTHING "Behind the backs" of your parents !!!
Since you are still living at home, you still have to live by their rules and if you use their insurance it will be hard to do any how.

Stay in school, and work on the stuff that you can do, Voice, Hair, Stuff that they are O.K. with.

It took me 50 years to get to the point that I'm at right now.  Just started with HRT last month.

Yes it seems like time can't go fast enough right now,  BUT it all takes time ! 
I know it stinks, BUT, others have done this before us and are happy now.

Just something to think about.

Jamie

I agree with Jill. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you would be better off waiting more straightforwardly. I wouldn't want someone to tell me not to be myself personally, but you really should wait until college or after high school and you have a full time job that won't fire you for transitioning.

What you can work on, like others said, is growing out your hair, taking care of your skin and nails, weight loss (if needed), diet change, start doing squats (you will thank yourself later), and possibly laser hair removal. These are all things I did as I was male. I did get my nails noticed a lot though. Stop smoking if you do.

I'm actually grounded right now because of smoking actually lol. My parents caught me with a lighter. For the past month I've really begun to focus on keeping my hands(which are girl size actually ) Neat, clean and feminine.  Also keeping my nails longer. Try to remember to do squats but I run out of time. If anything right now I need to gain weight not lose it.

Kayla you know I care about you a great deal and have been trying to help you for almost a year. It comes down to tough love from me at this time. You are 18 Kayla so grow a spine and stop the whine! You are at the point you are an adult and have to make your own way in this world. If you are financially able to and have a job start thinking about making your move. If you wait on your parents you will start your transition at age 80 when they are gone. You want that? Of course you don't. If you wait until after college they are paying for what then? Wait until you get a better job, wait until your grad school? It will never stop girl! They will always find some way or excuse to hold you down. I and the others have given you a million ways to feminize yourself pre HRT, but it always comes down to people don't approve and I can't do it. When you are at college you need to see a Therapist ASAP!! Start HRT without an Endo? Um, no.

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on October 05, 2014, 05:04:12 PM
I'm actually grounded right now because of smoking actually lol. My parents caught me with a lighter. For the past month I've really begun to focus on keeping my hands(which are girl size actually ) Neat, clean and feminine.  Also keeping my nails longer. Try to remember to do squats but I run out of time. If anything right now I need to gain weight not lose it.

OH well you're luck if you're that skinny already but it's best to gain weight on hrt so that the fat goes in the right places u_u

At the moment I truly don't care about anyone else's approval or outside the home and I only care about my parents because I don't want my senior year around the house being a complete nightmare

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 05, 2014, 05:04:27 PM
Kayla you know I care about you a great deal and have been trying to help you for almost a year. It comes down to tough love from me at this time. You are 18 Kayla so grow a spine and stop the whine! You are at the point you are an adult and have to make your own way in this world. If you are financially able to and have a job start thinking about making your move. If you wait on your parents you will start your transition at age 80 when they are gone. You want that? Of course you don't. If you wait until after college they are paying for what then? Wait until you get a better job, wait until your grad school? It will never stop girl! They will always find some way or excuse to hold you down. I and the others have given you a million ways to feminize yourself pre HRT, but it always comes down to people don't approve and I can't do it. When you are at college you need to see a Therapist ASAP!! Start HRT without an Endo? Um, no.

Smoking increases the risk of DVT while taking estrogen. DVT stands for Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot that can seriously injury or kill you. Long periods of sitting down do too. I'm not sure how much more at risk you are, but smoking is all kinds of bad for you anyway. I would recommend not making it a habit that you will regret later in life.

I agree. No smoking.  There are a zillion reasons you don't want to do that.  Many endos won't even let you take HRT if you smoke.

Here's a reason- if you smoke a pack a day, that's like $2000 per year that you could have spent on clothes or facial hair removal.

I would never be able to smoke that much at all!!! I only do it because I'm so stressed out all the time

Quote from: Andreja Silvija on October 05, 2014, 06:00:13 PM
Smoking increases the risk of DVT while taking estrogen. DVT stands for Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot that can seriously injury or kill you. Long periods of sitting down do too. I'm not sure how much more at risk you are, but smoking is all kinds of bad for you anyway. I would recommend not making it a habit that you will regret later in life.

Absolutely, no smoking when on eostrogen. I know in Australia an Endocrynologist will deem you as not suitable for HRT if you smoke. The risks are substantial and besides like Andreja said, it's just all together a bad habit to have. So there's one thing you can start right now, quitting smoking 

P.S. Squats are so you can have a bigger butt. It's easier to build muscle while you still have so much testosterone in your body.

Quote from: Andreja Silvija on October 05, 2014, 09:28:01 PM
P.S. Squats are so you can have a bigger butt. It's easier t ;Do build muscle while you still have so much testosterone in your body.

lol thanks girl! I know what theyre for

I've been struggling over the past few days with people's conceptions are of gender and how much people react to me as a male. It bothers me when people use male pronouns in reference to me but I don't know what to say to them. I'm also tired of my parents asking me to do male chores like moving furniture (I did this last night) because it makes me feel like they aren't even making an effort to understand me as  my female self and it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. As such, today, I woke up feeling like I didn't even want to try anymore if people weren't going to accept me.