Hi there By way of introduction, my name is Anna-Maria, 34, MTF, femme-dyke, and I live in the beautiful City of Munich/Germany. I stumbled over this page while browsing around for more information on HRT (yes, I´m pre-HRT so to say and I´m going to start with HRT by end of the year after seeing my psychiatrist since March this year) and I can tell you I love this page! All I found here was what I´ve been searching for quite a time: support and love towards each other, no whining over the curse to be Transsexual but a positive mindset and that´s really empowering. I felt so touched by stories I´ve read before I decided to register and I guess it was the right decision to register after all. And yea, I´m open for any new people in my life If you may ask, why I´m chosing to take part with an English speaking page, I have to admit that the mentality I found in America and Canada while having to do here professionally is close to mine privately. I´m also considering to move to the US or Canada next year.

Alright, you want to know more about me personally, right?

After more than 20 years of suffering under my Gender Dysphoria, with the age of 33, I found it unsurmountable to cope with the male attitude society required me to show. After all the years of denial, self-hurting introspection and all the times I tried so desperately to be what I´m surely not, I made the lifetime decision to come to terms with my inner "problems". I admitted to myself that I was really Trans and my Gif was and still is so supportive that I found the power and strength to live my life as it has meant to be: as a woman, who I am. After first coming out to my grandma (absolutely supportive from the very beginning - while being at the age of 85 to friends (also very supportive) and my parents and my bro (right, my Dad and my Bro still have problems to accept the fact), I started seeing my psychiatrist. After 5 or so meetings, he told me that he´s convinced over my Gender Dysphoria and gave way to seeing me a Endocrinologist. The timeline might seem very close but that´s telling who I am. At the time I admitted to myself I was Trans, I already knew what has to be done and I´m committed and yea, stubborn I know what I want and I get it.

So, 2015 will be the decisive year in my life with an HRT under progress, subsequently living full-time (instead of living part time like it´s being now) and finally SRS in 2016.

Hope this was informative for the first instance. Feel free to ask me anything

xoxo
Anna-Maria

Hey Anna-Marie

Welcome to Susan's Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing your story. Plenty of other folks from Europe on the forum and a few other Germans. We try to keep things positive, obviously sometimes people do struggle for any number of reason so we are here to provide support for them in crisis too.

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Cheers

Grace

Hi Grace

Thanks for your warm welcome and I´m also looking forward in taking part with the forum. Just let me put one thing right, as I said that there´s no whining over the curse of being Transsexual I didn´t mean to deny the fact that many of us  are suffering from to time to time - including myself, and believe me my depressions are partially severe and I was close to hurting myself. Instead, what I wanted to express is that I found here a way more positive approach towards all the mental and societal issues being Transsexual bringing with it. That´s why I admire with this page

Hope noone feels hurt by my previously written words. If so, I´m sorry.

Love

Anna-Maria

No problems, I was just priming you for when you do encounter dysphoric and triggering threads here. BTW I notice someone from Austria just joined up, I know that's not Germany but she said she was a German speaker.

Hi Anna Marie.

Its so nice to be able to welcome you to our group.
It's great to meet you.!
Enjoy the great resources and people here.
Take care.
Mark

Hi Mark Thanks also for your warm welcome and I feel that I´m going to find here the people I want to know

@ Grace. Sure, I´ve been aware about these ones and I was talking about this side of the forum as I said that I felt it empowering. To talk about your problems, to communicate it to others is an act of alleviation and if there´s any positive response on your remarks, that´s the way of understanding and help  what I admire here so much. I found several pages where Trans people used to tear each other down in some sort of "depression olympics", don´t know how to call it otherwise. But I guess you´ll understand what I mean

Love

Anna-Maria

Quote from: Anna-Maria on October 02, 2014, 03:59:31 PM
Hi there By way of introduction, my name is Anna-Maria, 34, MTF, femme-dyke, and I live in the beautiful City of Munich/Germany.

Hi Anna-Maria!  Welcome to Susan's!  My mother was from Braunschweig...so its very nice to meet you!

@ Suzanne. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me  and I´ve recently read your introduction here and omg I was really touched by your story. I had severe and hard times since I entered my "puberty" (which in fact never took place since I never developed any major corporal hair or facial hair or a super deep voice - even at times I didnt shave my legs people sometimes assumed I would! ) and I always was very girlish in my mannerism and even in the way I walk. As funny as it may sound first, if you are seen by all world as a boy and you cannot live up with the standards put upon you, you´re getting into a vicious circle of external exclusion and self-punishment, losing confidence in yourself, leading to more exclusion and even more self-punishment. To cut it short, I had to cope with this since I´ve been at the age of 12 or 13. What helped me to get over all this was some sort of inner strength. At the time I was ready to hurt myself or set an end to my life, my subconciousness forced me to get back on my feet again, telling me that there´s something in my life worth to hold on and live for. Having overcome the most severe time in my life just by my own efforts gave me so much power to myself that everything what can happen now, during my transition or afterwards cannot tear me down in that way anymore. I still have phases of depression and doubt but I learned to use some coping mechanisms. I learned that, Meditation helps me tremendously to shorten the duration of the depressive phases and preventing me from falling down into despair. What also helped me was the fact that my gif gave me space to express myself, she was the first person ever in my life I trusted so fundamentally that I started talking with her over my issues. Talking is so relieving, especially if there´s someone who understands and helps you to cope. I know I´m somehow lucky because I chose my close friends good enough and at the time I came out to them it was like, omg we knew something was up but we never thought about this! So, we accept you as a person as you are and we will help you to pass this tough time and getting you happier with your life and also the fact that my gif is a professional psychologist (for minors and adolescent, but anyway she made huge efforts to help me with my psychological issues). So at the time I started seeing my psychiatrist, I was well prepared and I knew nothing surprising would happen. For the first time in my life I feel that I´m mastering my life, that I´m in charge with my life and giving way to my feminity took away tons of weight from my shoulders. Having developed a positive way of thinking, being optimistic about my transition and the peculiar way I´m handling all this like I was sleepwalking, doing the right thing at the right time with the right mindsetting and everything until now came out so positive reinforces my positivity and is cutting the depressive phases even shorter.

Lots of text, right? I´m just happy to have people here in similar situations I can share my thoughts with. I´m happy to get to know you!

Love

Anna-Maria

@Ashazti. Thank you!  I´m so curious about all the new people I´m getting to know here. Your mother is from Braunschweig? Do you speak a little German?  Braunschweig is a nice town in northern Germany, while Munich is so Bavarian, I can tell
Recently the Oktoberfest is taking place so if anyone is planning to come here in 2015 I´m open to accompany you

xoxo

Anna-Maria

Welcome Anna-Maria to Susan's family.

It's nice to see you already have made the forum your home.

Hugs

Mrs Izzy, thank you too for welcome me in here It´s such a huge forum I just started to figure the whole thing out, reading and reading 

Love

Anna-Maria

Hi and welcome to our family! I hope that you're able to find what you're looking for. Enjoy yourself!

Quote from: Anna-Maria on October 03, 2014, 04:13:46 AM
@Ashazti. Thank you!  I´m so curious about all the new people I´m getting to know here. Your mother is from Braunschweig? Do you speak a little German?  Braunschweig is a nice town in northern Germany, while Munich is so Bavarian, I can tell
Recently the Oktoberfest is taking place so if anyone is planning to come here in 2015 I´m open to accompany you

I speak very little, she never bothered to teach me... I picked up some from my grandmother, but I'd love to learn the rest.
Would love to hit up Oktoberfest as well! That would be an amazing vacation for me, wish I could.

Hello Anna Maria, welcome to the big family dear! Hope to get to know you better through your upcoming posts....Shan

@Suzanne:  Yea of course, I´ve learned you´re from the Netherlands and that´s really pretty close  . Hope we can get  to know each other better. It´s so great to meet positive people like you here and btw you look soo sweet, darling  Love

@Shantel: You call it family and I guess you´re used to call it like this but for me it´s a new experience and it´s so heart touching. I try to be a good and reliable member of the family. I don´t know, as I stumbled over this forum and just read a few threads (far not enough to decide to come out to people I just don´t know), it just felt right, you know? I felt, this was the right place for me. So thank you too for welcome me in here

@Ashazti: What a pity, she never teached you to talk German. The language is of the tougher sort if it comes to grammar and style so better  getting used to it with mother´s milk as we like to say in Germany  But anyway, if you´re really interested in you´ll make progress and for sure even you don´t know German perfectly  you´ll "pass" as a real Bavarian "Dirndl"  if you come to visit the Oktoberfest. Promised 

Hi Anna-Maria, it's nice to meet you! I'm from Boston.  I spent two and a half years stationed in Germany.  I lived in Zweibrucken and Kaiserslautern, and traveled everywhere from Todendorf to Berchtesgarten. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 05, 2014, 07:59:30 PM
Hi Anna-Maria, it's nice to meet you! I'm from Boston.  I spent two and a half years stationed in Germany.  I lived in Zweibrucken and Kaiserslautern, and traveled everywhere from Todendorf to Berchtesgarten. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Oh hey Devlyn, welcome back sweetheart!

Hi Auntie Shan! Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 05, 2014, 08:32:24 PM
Hi Auntie Shan! Hugs, Devlyn

Glad your back, been missing you buddy girl!

@ Devlyn Marie. Boston is such a nice city one of the most "European" ones in the US 

Berchtesgaden is always worth a travel. Last weekend I went hiking at Lake Koenigssee at the Watzmann mountains. It´s just getting winter there and the air is so clear. This helps me to clear my mind and forget the issues I have to deal with from day to day. Would be nice to meet you there anytime 

Kisses

Anna-Maria