You got it right.

Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 02, 2014, 10:39:22 PM
I think that as a smack dab in the middle NB/Androgyne at my core, Pan, and aiming towards androgynous physicality, and that is an advantage for me.

Neither extreme of the pendulum is that far off for me so far, and the middle is bliss.

At the M and F sides I just enjoy everything that is matches, and am patient with what doesn't.  Because I am never far from having like the other parts, or matching them again.  (But I never dislike any of them, I know some do...)

It is cyclical, and very natural and organic feeling.

Think like water.  The cycling of the tides.  The changes of the seasons.

If you are gender fluid let go, and go with the flow.  There is richness in the experience and constantly shifting perspective.  You will see, perceive, and feel more from a changing perspective than a fixed one.  Don't try and force it to be something that it is not.  Find the centre of your personal swing and stand at that point, and sway with your personal pendulum.

When I chatted with my wife about this she brought up the concept of Two-Spirited people.  And asked if my nature has helped me with meditation.  It most certainly has.  There are things that come trivially to me that people locked into one binary or the other seem to struggle with.

Maybe try some meditation?  Stop trying to be anything in particular, just be?  Stop trying to force a fixed understanding on it, just enjoy the motion?

- Jaded (Who might be too zenned out right now to make any sense...) Jade

Good thread, thank you OP.  I had underestimated my fluidity, I had been under such strain to be things that I was not and could never be.

I wrote my original post when I was feeling very Femme/Andro.

Now I am feeling more purely male than I have felt for YEARS.  Despite the hormones.

I am still me, my opinions are still the same.

Even drifted back into a masculine mindset I still feel more at peace and whole than I have in 25 years.  Any doubts about my path are dissipating.  Even thinking in boy mode the small physical changes are welcome, and needed.

I have a ways to go, I am still at the start of my journey, but I think I finally beating my GD.

I feel like I am dancing with myself, all three of me.


- Jaded Jade

JJ
Enjoy the dance. I think that it will be awesome
Aisla

Quote from: Edge on October 04, 2014, 06:44:01 PM
You got it right.

finally. that's good.
takes a whole lot of thinking to get it. because apparent similarities can hide different truths.

i've bren thinking even more since yesterday.
this is a really weird thing, and the explanation keeps changing.

i was so sure i wanted to be seen as male. but that can't be right if i keep wanting to not be seen as either binary, not even a both or in between. not a neither either, for i have gender. it's just other. i want that option, and wish it had a proper name.

but then, i also want to be treated the same way as a man, so that must be why i thought i wanted to be seen as male. i was just sticking with the binaries, and if those two are the options people will give me, i choose male. with some leeway to act and talk like a woman when that is what i am or speak or act as. but i don't want that to tag me as female.

i'm so tired of all this gendering.
buying gifts for kids is horrible. they tend to be so stereotypical, it's frustrating.
would be much better if i got to know what they actually like.

Quote from: Edge on October 04, 2014, 08:49:23 AM
Masculinity and femininity are not the same as male and female. I fail to see how time, location, or illogical social categories that have no basis in biology or reality have anything to do with one's identity. Unless they're one of those people base their identity on other people's opinions instead of themselves, but I don't understand why anyone would do that unless they're mentally unhealthy.
Spectrum: "used to classify something, or suggest that it can be classified, in terms of its position on a scale between two extreme or opposite points" -the dictionary on my laptop
Not to mention the fact that this definition is, as far as I can tell, the one used by the people, yourself included, who say or insinuate that I can't be who I am. Why else would they?

I never meant to insinuate that you can't be who you are. I think you should be, and already are, who you are. I do think that time and location do play a role, mainly because I feel like I can be way more feminine now publicly than I could be 20 years ago, but I couldn't be that way even now in rural Texas, for example...perhaps another 20 years...or 50...

I live with both a male and female side.  Earlier On my journey I was a little bit fluid with my male side being between 30%-60% and my female side being between 65%-80% but there was one painful experience that brought both my male & female sides over 80%.
these days I'm fairly stable with him being about 35% and her being about 75%.
my presentation 95% of the time is bearded lady, the last 5% of the time I'm wearing an outfit that looks male on one side (My left) and female on the other.  Its kinda suprising to me that the half and half outfit seems more acceptable to society then my (preferred) Bearded Lady look