SatinJoy I'm so sorry to hear about what happened with your kid. Wishing you all my hopes for a happy outcome.

Sending huge biiig cyber hugs your way!

Ally

Quote from: Susan on October 07, 2014, 02:53:17 PM
Doesn't make a difference to my point. It wasn't even really directed directly at Satinjoy, it was a warning to others. I will point out it's very rare for a endocrinologist or any medical professional to make a mistake of that nature, and if a trained medical professional can make a mistake that is this serious, then it's even easier for you to do so when self medicating.

I have had high levels of T and that was under the supervision of a dose calculated by my endocrinologist. I did my doses every three weeks as prescribed, I didn't do it a day sooner or a day later. My body simply gained an excess of T in its system which needed to be monitored and had my doses adjusted accordingly. In that case, I went onto a three-monthly dose of T which stabilized the high levels. These things happen and it is normal, it certainly holds no reflection on the professional themselves.

SatinJoy, I am sorry to hear about your child, I hope everything turns out well. Keep your chin up

Grandchild dear... focus is back on helping my daughter, the jolt is resulting in the bf getting responsible and they are still planning on marriage.  They grew up a little, maybe me to.

The grandbaby is in heaven with my stillborn son who died just before birth many years ago.  One day my family will be together with them all.

Thanks all for the support.  Working on living with the deep estrogenic emotions.

Blessings

Satinjoy

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 06, 2014, 08:23:36 PM
I hate to keep drawing attention to myself, but my daughter just miscarried and I am concerned, this is really too much for anyone to take.

This is supposed to be a support forum and instead we have lost that focus and that is so wrong.

Stakes are high, this kid is the one we had once had to hospitalize and was the stalking and worse victim.

Sometimes I think by being trans I opened
the floodgates of he'll against my family, by keeping my faith publically and championing trans too.

I feel lime taking my camaro into a wall.

I am so tired.  What did I do to deserve this.

If anything happens to my kid I am finished.

Satinjoy

Oh Sweetheart I am so sad for you.  I don't know what I would do without my kids and grandkids.  They are quite simply the principal reason I stick around on this planet.  Call me anytime.  If you've tried and I haven't answered, it is because I'm having a lot of unpleasant conversations lately with Donna and finally just turned the ringer off.   I understand depression and fatigue.  I'll turn it back on, and sorry.

Love you lots,
Julie

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 08, 2014, 05:05:26 AM
Grandchild dear... focus is back on helping my daughter, the jolt is resulting in the bf getting responsible and they are still planning on marriage.  They grew up a little, maybe me to.

The grandbaby is in heaven with my stillborn son who died just before birth many years ago.  One day my family will be together with them all.

Thanks all for the support.  Working on living with the deep estrogenic emotions.

Blessings

Satinjoy

My son and daughter-in-law experienced the same thing, it can be a crushing blow to the kids but they will survive and grow from the experience. Hugs of you sweetie!

Quote from: EchelonHunt on October 07, 2014, 08:58:55 PM
Which needed to be monitored and had my doses adjusted accordingly. In that case,

Which is why we don't allow discussion of self medicating Because they won't have the medical professionals monitoring their hormone levels.

i can't remember anyone here suggesting or not speaking up against self medicating.
i got some interesting advice in the chat a way back though. never did take that advice as i don't feel a need to hurt myself unnecessarily.

one thing i like a whole lot about this section is that there is less pressure to transition and no continuous focus on the medical aspect of it. we may discuss possibilities, but none outside what is administered and monitored by medical professionals.

here i can be myself without feeling like i have to prove anything, and without feeling left out when everybody else talks about hrt.
i'd sooner consider going the binary route through the established system in norway, than getting anything through shadier routes.

Quote from: Susan on October 07, 2014, 02:53:17 PM
I will point out it's very rare for a endocrinologist or any medical professional to make a mistake of that nature, and if a trained medical professional can make a mistake that is this serious, then it's even easier for you to do so when self medicating.

Yes. Self medicating is a very bad idea. But when you are in the hands of incompetent doctors, it can be just as bad. I had an issue where my first endo was closing his practice and moving out of state back in June of 2008. He included three contact numbers/addresses in the letter. I was completely freaking out since I was still on a full HRT regimen at that time. I called the first place and they accepted me. It was an Internal Medicine clinic. None of them were Endocrinologists. I was relieved at first. But I soon found out that these guys had no idea what they were doing when it came to transpeople. They would misgender me, scratch their heads about medications, etc. It got worse after I had my orchi done. I noticed that my E levels had dropped to half of their previous level.

So, I went to them and requested that they double my dosage. Without any bloodwork or batting an eye. They said, 'okay'. This completely screwed me up. I went through absolute hell for several months. I was also passed around like a hot potato. I saw three different doctors and none of them had a clue. The third one suggested that I seek out someone else.

I eventually contacted the individual that is now my current endo (and ironically, was third on the list I got from my first endo AND was located at the same hospital that I had been going to since I was 18 for non-trans related medical reasons. I suppose that hindsight is 20/20, eh?)

When I had my first visit with her, she was absolutely shocked that the doctors at the former clinic would be so careless. But I accept half of the blame for asking them to do it in the first place.

Lesson learned: leave the doctoring to the doctors. BUT, also find one that knows what they are doing in regards to your specialized needs.

Quote from: Susan on October 08, 2014, 05:59:44 PM
Which is why we don't allow discussion of self medicating Because they won't have the medical professionals monitoring their hormone levels.

Yes, every time someone brings up self medicating, usually in the MtF forums, though I have not seen mention of it here or even of specific dosage levels, I'm quick to share my own experiences with DVT from having self medicated in the past. Lucky I'm not below the turf at Forest Lawn!

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 08, 2014, 05:05:26 AM
The grandbaby is in heaven with my stillborn son who died just before birth many years ago. 

Blessings

Satinjoy

And they are with my stillborn twin sister..  Someday I'm certain we will ALL be together..

Blessings also

Now that will be quite the meeting Mark...

Wow the days were dark ones.

I am still experiencing mood swings, unfortunately not too much euphoria, mostly it slides from peace to depression to anxiety.  But it stabilizes as I interact with people.  Expected, and they pendulum swings are not so wide now.  I hate the anxiety attacks.  Mild depression I have always had, first time it went away for real was when I took estrogen.

For the forum, the reason for the thread is to allow others by way of transparency to see what the effects of a dramatic serum shift can do to us.  The Endo I have has been doing this for 30-40 years, this is their thing, to do transitions, and mine has not been easy.  My levels have been whacked from the beginning.  Could be the result of being 138 and 5'9 in the beginning.  Not much fat. 

Anyway I still will stick to them, they take care of a lot of folks here, some come up from...... 200 miles away....

E-cyp injections are a bit volitile I guess but they solve certain problems for me, namely crashing.  On max dose orals I bottomed every day at 25 serum level.

Whatever.

Tonight I start an adjusted dose.  Thiers of course, splitting the difference between the bottom and top levels, hopefully finding a stable level, or one where fluxuations are in normal ranges.  That is their business, mine is to take my blood work every three weeks, meet them every four right now, and see my shrink, I even time the injections and the other meds (the usual stuff for us) so that it is taken within 5 minutes of recommended dosing time each day or week.

Anyway, it is a record for others now, it  is posted within TOS rules.

Hanging in there kids..... living the miracle.

As to the daughter and that stuff, life on lifes terms is not easy, there will however be a season of joy, and maybe a real nice wedding.

I just realized I will have female emotions there, when it comes,  oh no

Love to all here

Satinjoy

SJ

This thread has been enormously powerful.  Your raw honesty in sharing your experiences has been particularly inspiring and invaluable to this community.

The last few weeks have been pretty intense for you, and the fact that you have emerged so strongly is testament to your spiritual strength in addition to the great love which binds your family together.

Wishing you all the very best on your travels.

Aisla

SJ,

My mother had a stillborn son before she had my older sister and myself, so that was an older brother I never got to meet. Hopefully I will be able to meet him again someday.

The injections taking care of the crashes... oh, the crashes... I remember them all too clearly when I was on my tri-weekly dose. It would be a sudden dip in mood and energy in the middle of the third week. Going on the three-monthly dose made the crashes go away, it was wonderful. The mood swings were gone and the hormonal changes were more smooth than erratic. 

I can relate to the levels have been whacked as well - before T, I had low T levels for a biological female and I suffered from PMDD in which the sufferer becomes increasingly sensitive to their natural hormonal changes.

Season of joy, is that referring to Christmas? Oh, a wedding, how exciting! A few tears (or perhaps a lot?) will be shed but at least they will be tears of happiness!

Kind regards,

Jacey