Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

Extreme Fear of telling doctors

Started by tesseract49, October 09, 2014, 07:15:33 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

tesseract49

Hi everyone. I am transgender and I live in the UK. I really need to get help but I am too scared to tell my GP. I just can't do it. The whole experience of just going there is terrifying. Is there a way that I could let them know or get help without having to see them in person?  I am really scared.   :'(
  •  

Alice Rogers

I asked a nurse at my doctors while I was having a blood pressure test who the most understanding and friendly Doctor was at their surgery, armed with that knowledge I made an appointment confident that I would be listened to and taken seriously.

Beyond getting a little intel in advance you could also write them a letter.

BUT you will never get the help you need if you don't go see them!

Alice
xx

UK girl, just been through what you are about to start, PM me if you like. :) xx
"I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time." Jack London
  •  

Jenny07

Hi
You have a right to be terrified as it is such a difficult issue.

I was personally terrified myself as I made many excuses which resulted in nothing happening and making it worse.
As I sat waiting I thought about it and wanted to run away.

When I did see my GP I nearly didn't open up, I told her this and she was so understanding.
It was the best thing. Be honest to yourself and if you do your research and find a helpful GP you will be amazed. I was.
Once I had opened up it was so much easier dealing with it. Now when I see her it's a side issue only and so easy to discuss.

Be brave as you will need to open up to your GP at some time and only you can do it, however it could be the best thing you ever do.

Hugs
Jen
So long and thanks for all the fish
  •  

Mariah

Both have suggested great ideas. A letter or telling the nurse first will help, but ultimately your going to have to tell the doctor. When I told my GP at the time I was terrified of how he would respond that my blood pressure went through the roof even though I was clear with my intentions to the staff when making the appointment. They had seen and dealt with this before on others so that put my mind at ease coming in. Advocating for your own care is the only way to get your needs met. One of the doctors I have to deal with for my heath I wrote a letter too and dropped it off a few days before my appointment. I knew they had an idea of what was going on coming in, but I had to handle both my being transgendered and other issues I had of this doctor at the same time. I thought a letter was the best way to do it. My appointment went smoothly because of it. My point being you can let the letter do the heavy lifting. Speaking through the nurse will help because I tried that first time on the urologist I had to write the letter too, but in the end the letter was necessary because message got lost in translation. If you don't feel you have the courage and strength to convey the words directly to the doctor at first then I highly recommend the letter. You can choose to bring it with you to the appointment or do as I did and dropped it off a few days ahead of time allowing the doctor and nurses a chance to look over it before they see you. You need to do what your comfortable doing. You will be amazed about the amount of weight lifted off your shoulders when you do. Don't rush yourself though, when your ready you will be able to do it. I hope this helps. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:15:33 AM
Hi everyone. I am transgender and I live in the UK. I really need to get help but I am too scared to tell my GP. I just can't do it. The whole experience of just going there is terrifying. Is there a way that I could let them know or get help without having to see them in person?  I am really scared.   :'(
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

tesseract49

Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you that a letter would be best for me. I am much better at expressing my feelings through writing than in person. Thanks so much from all of you *hugs*.  I just have one more question. How do I drop off a letter?  Should I just hand it to the receptionist?
  •  

Mariah

I handed it to the receptionist. If you have the courage and strenght to use that method, then I would use that method. In person is the best way. You don't even have to say what it is about and just say you would like the doctor to read it before the appointment and that it is important for him to do so. However, if your bringing it to the appointment then you can take it back with you instead of handing it off before hand and then hand it to the nurse or doctor directly. Either route will work. Hugs
Mariah.
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:53:04 AM
Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you that a letter would be best for me. I am much better at expressing my feelings through writing than in person. Thanks so much from all of you *hugs*.  I just have one more question. How do I drop off a letter?  Should I just hand it to the receptionist?
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

Alice Rogers

Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:53:04 AM
Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you that a letter would be best for me. I am much better at expressing my feelings through writing than in person. Thanks so much from all of you *hugs*.  I just have one more question. How do I drop off a letter?  Should I just hand it to the receptionist?
Sure, or post it and name the specific doctor you want to deal with about it. At my surgery they don't limit you to one doctor you can ask to see any of them.
"I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time." Jack London
  •  

tesseract49

Thanks everyone again :).  I feel so much better now. I want to hug you all :)
  •  

Mariah

I'm so very glad to hear your feeling better about it now. Good Luck. Hugs

Mariah

Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Thanks everyone again :).  I feel so much better now. I want to hug you all :)
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

Alice Rogers

Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Thanks everyone again :).  I feel so much better now. I want to hug you all :)

I'll hold you to that!

Alice
xx
"I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time." Jack London
  •  

Jessika

Hi all,
My Primary Doctor (GP..General Practitioner?) is on the military base in a Military facility (I am retired Military). Not sure when a good time to come out would be once and if I am diagnosed. I also get all my Meds in the Base pharmacy (no cost). I am not on any kind of Meds atm.
I can't stop thinking about the time I will come out to all, and then going to the base to get all my documents, pills, exams, ect ect ect ect ect. Any advice?

Thanks all

Jess
My Fantasy is having Two Men at once...

One Cooking, One Cleaning.  ;D 








  •  

Mariah

Receiving your care directly through the military base will change how somethings will occur. If your talking about coming out to the doctor on base, then you just need to be ready to do that. The timing isn't going to matter to them otherwise. Being forthcoming and honest with them is the best route. I wish you the best of luck doing it. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Jessika on October 18, 2014, 04:13:36 PM
Hi all,
My Primary Doctor (GP..General Practitioner?) is on the military base in a Military facility (I am retired Military). Not sure when a good time to come out would be once and if I am diagnosed. I also get all my Meds in the Base pharmacy (no cost). I am not on any kind of Meds atm.
I can't stop thinking about the time I will come out to all, and then going to the base to get all my documents, pills, exams, ect ect ect ect ect. Any advice?

Thanks all

Jess
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •