I went outside in full girl mode today for the first time. I have been so anxious about my neighbors seeing me up till now because the neighborhood is extremely conservative, and the neighbors on either side of me I actually have interacted with, and both are extremely difference phobic and fundamentalist households run by alpha males who have both had shouting matches with my SO in the past.

When it came time for me to walk my dogs, I decided not to go back in the bathroom, remove all my makeup, remove all my clothes, dress up as a man etc... which I had been doing (which is a f*king unfair pain in the ass!).

Nobody was out that I noticed, but I still felt really good about conquering the fear of stepping outside as me.

Hope all of you are having an amazing day.
-Anna

Good for you

Congrats Anna, That is a huge step.

Mariah

Wow, awesome..!

It's one step ata time.
Don't let anyone get you down, you deserve to be your true self every second.! 

That's great! I know how nerve wracking that first time can be. My guy vs girl mode are so different one of my neighbours caught me up close and never realised. I'd suggest a plan of action in case one of those alpha males see you just to be on the safe side.

Good for you, Anna.

It's liberating to be able to be yourself outside of your own home.   It was hard for me to go outside at first, but when nothing really bad happened I just kept taking the next step.  Before I knew it, I was full time.  The key for me was when I stopped caring about what anyone else thought of me.

As far as your neighbors are concerned, screw 'em.  They weren't going to be your friends anyway.  If anything, you will mess with their heads in a good way. 

Be bold; and when the world gives you the finger, give two more right back.

when I started I went out the back door

Quote from: Annabella on October 06, 2014, 02:28:36 PM
I went outside in full girl mode today for the first time. I have been so anxious about my neighbors seeing me up till now because the neighborhood is extremely conservative, and the neighbors on either side of me I actually have interacted with, and both are extremely difference phobic and fundamentalist households run by alpha males who have both had shouting matches with my SO in the past.

When it came time for me to walk my dogs, I decided not to go back in the bathroom, remove all my makeup, remove all my clothes, dress up as a man etc... which I had been doing (which is a f*king unfair pain in the ass!).

Nobody was out that I noticed, but I still felt really good about conquering the fear of stepping outside as me.

Hope all of you are having an amazing day.
-Anna

one of my gay friends was asked to move out of a house that he bought by the guy next door, he turned around and said "you can't catch it, so f*** off", installed cameras and told them that if they had an issue with him, get over it.


BTW, well done and hope it goes well from here on in

Congratulations!

Quote from: White Rabbit on October 06, 2014, 02:30:13 PM
Good for you

The exact words on my mind as I was reading this, only to scroll down and yeah 'this'.

Also the payoff for people who are intolerant is seeing the effect their intoerance has on those to whom it is directed towards.  The absolute worst case scenario for intolerance is to see that person just shrug it off with no comment.  Shouting back gives them their 'win'.  Dani

Congratulations Anna

Congratulations Anna.

Anna,
It is beyond far, it is taking control of how you are willing to be perceived.  I think that being yourself in a venue of risk is pretty close to the bravest thing any of us can do.  I completely get walking the dogs dressed and made up.  The first time I did it was at five in the morning, when I was pretty sure I wouldn't get caught.  I needed to work up the courage to be real in what I perceived was a hostile environment.

Turned out nobody much cared lol.  My neighbors at least, have issues larger than what this chick looks like.  Hard to believe, but my gender does not their day make.  That was two years ago.  Now I'm just the woman next door who shares organic produce from her garden.  Normal and nice.

Congratulations on a huge leap of faith.

Fair Winds,
Julie

yaaay congrats Anna 

Congratulations Anna on that first step! After almost 9 months of HRT, I have been out in public about a dozen times. Most of those have been to trans friendly clubs, although I have been to my therapist a few times that way.

But not long ago, I visited a hospital emergency room at about 4am, after being out at a club. My sister had taken her fiancee there, after he had become violently sick, and I wanted to keep her company. It was an interesting experience which I would tell here, but I don't want to steal your thread.

By they way, I don't believe now that my transition really began with me starting HRT. I see the real beginning as happening the first time I ever stepped out of the house dressed as a female. I knew that if I ever got the courage to do that, my life would never be the same. I did it at night, and I live in a really dark neighborhood, so there was little risk of anybody seeing me. But my heart just pounded when I took that first step out the door.

Those first steps are always the hardest and the scariest. Some times just out your door is harder than other places. I knew I was too scared to go to the mail box half way down the street for the longest time. But for the most part people don't care. Heck i don't have the slightest idea who actually lives in the houses around me. Being transgender is rare enough that it might not even cross their mind if they saw you. Regardless, congrants on starting down the road.

Quote from: Ms Grace on October 06, 2014, 04:34:58 PM
That's great! I know how nerve wracking that first time can be. My guy vs girl mode are so different one of my neighbours caught me up close and never realised. I'd suggest a plan of action in case one of those alpha males see you just to be on the safe side.

...like "Run very fast" ... 

No seriously, it's a huge step so congratulations.  As you get more confident you will probably not even need to deal with any fools in the neighbourhood.

Good luck!
J

Quote from: Annabella on October 06, 2014, 02:28:36 PM
I went outside in full girl mode today for the first time. I have been so anxious about my neighbors seeing me up till now because the neighborhood is extremely conservative, and the neighbors on either side of me I actually have interacted with, and both are extremely difference phobic and fundamentalist households run by alpha males who have both had shouting matches with my SO in the past.

When it came time for me to walk my dogs, I decided not to go back in the bathroom, remove all my makeup, remove all my clothes, dress up as a man etc... which I had been doing (which is a f*king unfair pain in the ass!).

Nobody was out that I noticed, but I still felt really good about conquering the fear of stepping outside as me.

Hope all of you are having an amazing day.
-Anna

That's wonderful! Congrats. I have the same problem with neighbors and my landlord who lives below us and is staunchly religious. When my ride picks me up/drops me off sometimes I'll go out fully dressed but I wouldn't have the courage to walk around the neighborhood. I have no qualms with it in public just not where I live. So kudos to you!

Congrats, Anna! It sounds crazy, but you'll look back on this someday and say, "Why was I so scared?" No you won't, just kidding. It's a huge step, girl, but it will get easier each time until it will be to the point of not wanting to go outside without looking pretty. You look good already, but wait till you really get the hang of it all, as in just being a girl. You're now in for the ride of your life!!!!!